The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

21:26 Sep 30 2019
Times Read: 876

A good amount of study, now for a break with some “Mindhunter” on Netflix. Need to finish season 2 :)

21:16 Sep 30 2019
Times Read: 881

You know how sometimes a little kid will start screaming “Stop touching me!” to get another kid in trouble who is clear across the room not even doing anything? Yeah... grown-ups will pull that stuff too. Be mindful. Let people deal with their own stuff instead of falling in traps with they’re fishing for sympathy when not a damn thing is going on. Be there for your friends of course- but don’t wear blinders. Some people’s friends aren’t what they are cracked up to be.

19:48 Sep 30 2019
Times Read: 896

Oh how I wish I was an artist! I would love to create an image for my Tarot journey as “Panda Fortune”. I put together something to take a photo of for my Facebook cover- when I can find other unique things I’ll probably have to take a photo of that for my profile picture on various social media platforms. It’s the best I can do with no real artistic skills.

Now, I appreciate it when people offer to help me- but I’m picky and don’t want to make someone feel bad if I don’t use their images. So just keep that in mind if you offer. Not trying to be snotty or ungrateful... obviously I could use help.

I have reached out to people for help with graphics in the past, and I realize now the pressure that puts on someone to deliver something for free when it’s really work. It’s the kind of thing I hope I don’t get pressured for with Tarot readings. So I’m not here trying to do that. Of course I will accept assistance, but I can’t pay. So those are the metaphorical cards on the table.

19:41 Sep 29 2019
Times Read: 932

If you don't have a Netflix account and are interested in 30 days free (that you can cancel before it's over to not pay if you don't like it or can't afford it)- you can use this link: www.netflix.com/us/n/3G9CJHQZ-1

I have gotten a slew of free trials to certain things because I can't afford subscriptions all the time, so I want to be sure I hook people up if they are also looking for the same. If anyone has a free trial for Ancestry, feel free to hook me up as well, heh.

00:31 Sep 28 2019
Times Read: 966

I'm thinkin' it's another pancakes night.

23:06 Sep 27 2019
Times Read: 978

In the darkest recesses of hearts, people love train wrecks. And it could wreck, but they would just need another wreck. A continual wreckage. Because that is what fuels them. It’s very much like Munchausen syndrome by proxy- but instead of hurting a child, they keep inventing problems so people will pity and rally around them. This is probably a major self-esteem issue thing, amongst whatever other mental illnesses I’m not qualified to diagnose.

People need to get help. It’s not fair to bring other people down to further your personal agenda.

Don’t assume you know what I’m talking about. It might be aimed in a completely different direction.

02:31 Sep 27 2019
Times Read: 1,052

Don’t get involved in people’s drama. People lie. You’ll end up with pie on your face. And not the good kind.

22:08 Sep 24 2019
Times Read: 1,113

I get overwhelmed with anxiety on a personal note. It affects me physically. I have a hard time compartmentalizing. Tonight I am pouring all of my focus into something and I hope a little "Thoughts are Things" mind magic will do the trick.

20:31 Sep 24 2019
Times Read: 1,142

My son and I have an incredible relationship.

We can count on each other.
We are loyal to each other.
We respect each other.
We are proud of each other.
Our bond is sacred.

I can’t imagine, not even for a second, the idea of humiliating him or hurting him. He is my child no matter how old he is. He is the greatest person I know and I love and value him to a degree that intentionally being negative toward him is unfathomable to me.

Even though he lives in the dorm- I text him good night and we say “I love you” every single day. If anything happens to me- he will never doubt how much I care about him.

My own mother was/is abusive in many ways and we have not spoken in over a decade. I don’t regret locking her out due to the depths of abuse there- but if you have a familial scenario of merely shallow disagreements, try to imagine how you’d feel if your child or parent were to be killed instantly without the ability of being able to talk those things through. Would having your last words of hate be something you could easily live with? Hey... I realize some of you could. We don’t all think the same way. Not everyone knows how to love in a healthy way. I just feel really bad for people who choose to forsake such treasures for trivial moments in time.

19:41 Sep 24 2019
Times Read: 1,151

Still working on my gifts to myself... birthday projects of self-improvement. Just part of what helps temper the negative. I’m not as far as I’d liked to have been at this point with one of the projects, but that’s only because I’m trying not to rush it. I have been diligently at it though, daily.

But for a break- walking and listening to music. Free therapy! Off to get some.

PRIVATE ENTRY
06:19 Sep 24 2019
Times Read: 1,170


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

19:39 Sep 18 2019
Times Read: 1,302

I really don’t feel like going through all the journal entries I’ve posted since I made my name change, so I’ll just beat a dead horse again about me coming back to the cards. When I used to read all those years ago, I wasn’t giving readings for other people. I only read for myself. After all this time has passed with my stuff packed in boxes, taking them out and reading my materials again and absorbing all that I have from other major readers in the Tarot community- I feel like I’ve been able to devour the knowledge in a way I never would have been able to as a younger person. One being already given myself that foundation long ago, and two being life experience coupled with the evolution of Tarot understanding since I was in my early 20s.

I am still, only giving readings for myself. I have reached the point that I am open to reading for others, but I still feel that could be years down the road. At the same time, it could be months away. It’s not something I can predict, unless I use the cards, LOL- but no... I don’t want to put any pressure on my comfort zone. It’s enough for me to use them for myself. I actually *can* imagine myself opening up an online shop for readings. I would provide a video of the reading, and/or a picture of the spread with a detailed report on their interpretation. But before I got to that, I would give a lot of free readings for testimonials as well as jolly good practice. So when that time comes… I will reach out to people or even advertise in my journal the free readings. That’s an idea- or I may not do the free readings here. I may only do it for those in the Tarot groups I belong to on Facebook.

I’m learning a lot about how people are providing readings over the Internet. I want to give a solid, quality delivery. Hasty isn’t the way to go. So the timeline is up in the air until it isn’t.

I have connected with a veritable “who’s who” of the Tarot community online. I’m having conversations with the best. Creators of massively popular decks are in my circle- and they interact. When I am serious about something, I seek from the highest. When I’m ready, I’ll be offering something worthy because I’m putting in the work.

*****My husband has ordered me a deck for my birthday next month and it’s being shipped from Poland on Friday!!!!!*****

17:38 Sep 16 2019
Times Read: 1,347

It's nice to get out of bed and come down to laundry already being done... I stayed up late and did it so I could relax today. Gotta finish watching the last 3 episodes of Yellowstone and get back to studying :)

06:12 Sep 14 2019
Times Read: 1,378

AC is broken - has been all week. Started on Monday- but was at least at a point where I could turn it off for a while, then turn it back on later to work for the rest of the day. Then... no more as of today. I put in a work order about 8PM, so hopefully maintenance be here in the morning to fix it. It’s going to be a rough night in this heat.

18:06 Sep 13 2019
Times Read: 1,398

Two more shelves to tackle with dusting. When you have shelves that are utterly packed, it takes a long time to get it all clean. I take everything off individually and wipe them down, then wipe all the shelves, then put it all back in there again. What a pain. One of these days I’ll go through all of my shelves and see if there’s anything I can deal with getting rid of. The old Marie Kondo thing… I’ve done a bunch of that already, but, maybe I could use a little bit of it with the shelves as well.

I imagined going after these shelves with compressed air, then chocking from the dust flying into my face LOL

19:29 Sep 12 2019
Times Read: 1,446

Pretty proud of all the things I have accomplished around the house this week being alone here. It’s easy to do when you can start/stop/start/stop, and watch whatever you want to watch on TV during those downtimes LOL… When other people are here you can’t just make them stop what they’re doing for you to be able to do whatever you wanna do in that moment. In living with a chronic illness, just having the day time to myself isn’t enough to accomplish the things that I need to do. If my husband is going to be on business trips more often, it’s actually going to be helpful for me in this regard. It’s like doing a “Spring cleaning” every month or two. When you have a couple of cats, you really need to do a deep cleaning more often than most households. Cat hair just flies around. They are worth it in spades, but… It’s just the way it is.

17:00 Sep 12 2019
Times Read: 1,458

My son is at this amazing online journalism conference this week. He just called me to tell me about all the awesome free loot they were given. Earlier this week he declared a second major- so now he’s on track for Bachelor’s degrees in English (Writing) and Mass Communications (Visual Communications). He graduated high school with so many college credits from AP courses and whanot, that he already had a semester of college completed when he started college. And he’s been taking seven classes at a time. Being on an ROTC scholarship, he’s required to carry a full class load- so with all the credits he’s acquired, if he didn’t go for two degrees, he’d be overloading the schedule with random electives just to appease the requirement.

I’m so excited for him! He says there aren’t many college students at the conference- just a bunch “real deal” working journalists. It sounds like such a neat conference, I wish I was there :)

05:16 Sep 12 2019
Times Read: 1,484

Ann (Sahahria) was the greatest friend a person could have. Loyalty was a given, you never doubted her friendship. She was a clear communicator, and she truly gave a shit about how her friends felt. We’d gotten in one heated disagreement, but I still knew she was my friend. I never had to worry about her doing things behind my back. And this isn’t to say that I don’t think she wouldn’t have gone to a mutual friend of ours and talk about the argument we had… Because that’s human and valid, but she was still my friend. Now more than ever do I think about those incredible 10 years of friendship with her and realize it’s probably never going to happen again. I never did not appreciate her. I always knew she was golden. Type A to the max personality and all.

02:28 Sep 12 2019
Times Read: 1,513

Be yourself. Be authentically yourself. Don’t fall into scenarios where you change who you are because of someone you’re fascinated with. I’m not talking about quitting cigarettes and crap people really should change.

A friend of mine as a teen used to do that. She was a chameleon to those she liked. She never had her own personality. And when those things end... who is left behind as you’ve turned your back on people you should have be paying attention to?

People get a warped sense of “finding new aspects to themselves” and supposed “growth” and “awakening” instead of accepting what’s actually going on is they’re giving up their integrity.

This kind of excitement is temporary. And... at what cost?

This is the path of the weakest of the weakest. Easy prey. But guess what? Learning how to be your own strong person is a real thing too. Learning to appreciate what you have is a real thing. It comes too late to salvage in a lot of scenarios- but at least people can learn to start making things count from there forward and not ensuring the same shitty cycle.

03:43 Sep 11 2019
Times Read: 1,547

I make the rules in this house, and that’s it… I’m having cereal and watching more Carnival Row!

05:18 Sep 10 2019
Times Read: 1,596

“There is a right way to live and a wrong way to live. There's no sense in doing things the wrong way. You'll just prolong your time here. Do things correctly. Do not lie. Do not steal. Do not be a wretch. Live well or spend an eternity reincarnating in this earthly Hell.“ That’s on Cancer’s profile. More people should pay attention to those words.

01:39 Sep 10 2019
Times Read: 1,622

DC Comic’s “Two-Face” character. An avatar several people here could use. It’s such a prominent trait that a number of you will be thinking this entry is about you... and that’s the unfortunate state of things on Vampire Rave. The most common topics of conversation on this site are people’s personal disputes. Not the occult. Not vampires. And dammit…… I’m hoping that can change. Time to watch some Carnival Row.

19:41 Sep 09 2019
Times Read: 1,648

Made a big pan of food- and since no one else is here... I guess I’ll be eating the same thing all week, heh.

I have my ‘to do’ list at the ready, and I’d love to have most of it accomplished today. We will see how that works out though- being able to just crash at any moment without interruption also sounds like a solid plan.

18:30 Sep 08 2019
Times Read: 1,675

So, I’m not unique in loving pandas- but pandas and I are always synonymous because of a stupid thing I’m known to say in my home.

If you are old enough to remember the old Little Caesar’s Pizza commercial the little animated Roman would Day, “Pizza! Pizza!” For whatever reason I started, one day with much love for pandas, saying “Panda! Panda!” randomly here and there. It’s just one of those immediate family member things 😂 My name is labeled in my son’s phone as “Mom’s 🐼🐼”. In World of Warcraft- I created two Panderan toons and am known to often say, “White Tigah watch over you!”- a common quote from NPCs in game.

So here we go- the perfect early birthday present from my son 😊

06:26 Sep 07 2019
Times Read: 1,717

Nothing against my family... but I sure am looking forward to being alone next week. Just fending for myself, not sharing, hogging the cats on my lap only, and feeling free to spend too much time doing anything one thing I please.

I am very domestic at home. Not because anyone forces me, but because it’s just my nature to cook, clean, serve things up, fix anything that needs it, and more. Part of it is a control thing, I am sure. I’d like to know where everything is, I like to know things really are clean LOL, I prefer the way I cook over other people most of the time (ha ha ha), and stuff like that. But I really do have a selfless nature that wants me to ‘mother’ and all. There’s really nothing I can do about my involuntary character in that regard… But I do wear myself out, so I am going to enjoy just taking care of myself for a little bit.

What’s really funny about all this… Just as I type all that out, I know that I have a list of things that I want to do while there’s no one here in the house that consist of cleaning and other projects around the home that are still... taking care of everybody else.

03:39 Sep 07 2019
Times Read: 1,743

Got a couple birthday presents ordered- one from my husband, and one from my son. You guys can probably guess what the stuff is... if you've been paying attention to me here for the last few months :P The one from my son comes on Sunday- and the one from my husband will ship out after September 20, from out of the country. They'll both be really early birthday presents though. When the day comes, I just want to hang out as a family and watch movies/play games at home.

13:18 Sep 06 2019
Times Read: 1,771

Tarot tip...

01:46 Sep 06 2019
Times Read: 1,803

Snapchat is so incredibly *not* user-intuitive. Really, I have an account there to follow my son's posts because it's his main mode of social media usage. I have had my account for years and I think I have posted 5 times at most. Anyhow- the stories page is always filled with things I don't care about- as well as stills of things that make me twitch. I am a very visual person, I don't like seeing images of injuries or people getting hurt. And I don't give a rat's about the latest Kardashian news- so Snapchat sucks in that regard. I've customized my account many times, and the same stupid stuff keeps coming back around in the feed.

06:19 Sep 04 2019
Times Read: 1,846

Since I've been back from vacation- I have talked a lot about getting back out and walking, but tonight was the first night I actually did it. I went out there and got 5 miles in before midnight my time. My son called me while I was out there to talk to me about his joining the Tulane University Orchestra. I'm really excited for him, but man... he has really got an over-flowing plate right now. It was great listening to him be so excited about it over the call though :) Looking forward to spending some time with him this weekend.

My husband is off to Minneapolis next week on a work trip, so with Cristo living in the dorm... I'll be solo Monday-Friday. I'm going to enjoy the time, really. Just me and the cats!

20:49 Sep 03 2019
Times Read: 1,889

PRIVATE ENTRY
18:13 Sep 03 2019
Times Read: 1,891


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

04:34 Sep 03 2019
Times Read: 1,908

Getting started on one of my birthday present projects for myself tonight. When October 19 gets here- I’ll reveal what I’ve been up to and if I was successful in completing it or not. If successful, I’ll reward myself with 2 books. It’ll make sense on October 19! I haven’t mentioned anything about this particular topic on Vampire Rave before.

20:47 Sep 02 2019
Times Read: 1,937

I will be working on my Tarot Member Page (or Member Article- haven't decided where to put it yet).

If you have any basic questions you would like me to address with it- let me know in the comments. Questions about the history, types, things like that. It's not necessarily going to be a "how to", although there will be simple explanations in how it works. If I choose your question idea and I don't know the answer, I'll research it. One of the things I love about creating these pages is that it turns into an assignment, and I always learn more. I'm far from an expert- it's just something I'm really into.

Also, guess what I had today?

19:02 Sep 02 2019
Times Read: 1,975

Many of you may already know about this site- but for those who don't, I think this a great resource in looking for really cool and free transparent .png images for your pages and profiles here: IMGBIN. Search the categories- vampire, witch, warlock, zombie, magic... whatever... some are cutesy, others more serious. If you keep scouring the pages of your particular search, you'll probably find things you like ;)

03:20 Sep 02 2019
Times Read: 2,008

A friend of mine who was one of my son’s Marine instructors from military school is getting me this. Can’t tell you how much I love it :) I don’t talk about cats all the time on VR but I LOVE cats and I LOVE Mexican culture and all things Day of the Dead :)

08:46 Sep 01 2019
Times Read: 2,043

It’s September 1... my birthday is NEXT MONTH. I will be 46 years old, and there’s no fear in it at all. Still feels damn young to me. I’m ready for it. I hope it’ll be a great day on October 19th. I’m going to do what I need to, to be sure of it.

Plans to make sure of it? Goal to accomplish things in these just under 7 weeks- learn new stuff that will enhance my life, be mindful of getting those daily steps each day. Getting back into Duolingo and other supporting materials is the major thing.

These things will be a birthday gift to myself.

PRIVATE ENTRY
08:37 Sep 01 2019
Times Read: 2,045


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •