The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Happy Easter?
18:05 Mar 31 2013
Times Read: 564

Happy Easter? Run!

James Randi Quote
23:55 Mar 30 2013
Times Read: 586

I don't expect that the million will ever be won, simply because there is no confirming evidence for any paranormal claims to date.

James Randi

quotes
00:16 Mar 29 2013
Times Read: 601

All my life I wanted to be a bank robber. Carry a gun and wear a mask. Now that it's happened I guess I'm just about the best bank robber they ever had. And I sure am happy.

John Dillinger



My buddies wanted to be firemen, farmers or policemen, something like that. Not me, I just wanted to steal people's money!

John Dillinger

quotes
23:57 Mar 28 2013
Times Read: 607

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Chris Farley

The Mind of a Ruthless Man
20:45 Mar 21 2013
Times Read: 694

From the mind of a ruthless man.



1 . I prefer to be in a grave in Colombia than in a jail cell in the United States.





2. I'm a decent man who exports flowers.





3. All empires are created of blood and fire.





4. I can replace things, but I could never replace my wife and kids.





5. Everyone has a price, the important thing is to find out what it is.



6. There can only be one king.





7. Sometimes I am God, if I say a man dies, he dies that same day.





8. There are two hundred million idiots, manipulated by a million intelligent men.



Pablo Escabar

How Obvious
16:20 Mar 18 2013
Times Read: 729

How Obvious Can A Person Be? I have never seen such a transparent facade as this, a profile that was presented as a new member is (with no doubt) an existing member. To really demonstrate how shallow the ruse is the person posted a reply to a journal entry mere minutes after it was posted. I certainly hope this individual doesn't think they are fooling anyone. They are however forking over plenty of cash to perpetuate their attempted deception.

PRIVATE ENTRY
16:23 Mar 15 2013
Times Read: 742


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
07:58 Mar 15 2013
Times Read: 752


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
15:36 Mar 14 2013
Times Read: 767


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

Sick Fun
16:06 Mar 13 2013
Times Read: 772

Sick Funny!

Science Wins!
02:32 Mar 11 2013
Times Read: 791

Science wins! Science wins... Spiritualist Whines!



The way I see it is that the majority of those who insist that they can harness mystic, or spiritual forces are out to self promote themselves as extraordinary, and exceptional. Usually because they lack any actually redeemable abilities, or skills.



Don't get me wrong I respect spiritual people (my last path was Taoism) but when people usurp spirituality, and declare it their bitch... to manipulate at will, well that's when the skeptic in me steps in.



To bad some people can't carry a debate. One would think being skilled in Magi"k" would help one focus on something so basic as debate.

Tennis Elbow
19:12 Mar 08 2013
Times Read: 820






A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."



"Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."



The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:



You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.



That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:



Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.

Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.

Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.

Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer.

And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.

Giggle
16:36 Mar 08 2013
Times Read: 823

Q: What did the heroin addict get on his IQ test?



A: Drool

Haha
02:51 Mar 08 2013
Times Read: 842

Three thirsty men of the cloth



A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the bartender gives him his tab.



The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!"



The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten."



The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes.



Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink."



"I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to."



"I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way!"

When the Man Comes Around
00:17 Mar 08 2013
Times Read: 849

You may ask, what stirs an atheist? Well here's two spiritual songs that stirs me personally.

Quote...
13:28 Mar 07 2013
Times Read: 858

The essence of life is statistical improbability on a colossal scale.

Richard Dawkins

Special purchase
07:42 Mar 05 2013
Times Read: 882

One day the owner of a porno store goes out for a while, leaving the shop to his clerk. Soon a white woman goes into the sex shop.

She asks, "How much are your dildos?"

The clerk answers, "We have black and white ones, $35 each."

She says, "I think I'll take a black one. I've never had a black one before."



A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"

The clerk answers, "We have black and white ones, $35 each."

She says, "Hmmm... I think I'll take a white one. I've never had a white one before..."



About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"

Clerk says, "We have black and white ones, $35 each."



The blond asks, "What about that plaid one on the shelf in the corner?"



Clerk says, "Oh, that one is extraordinarily special, and our last in stock. You can have it for $200."



The blond thinks a moment, and says, "I'll take it, I never had a plaid one before..."



Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the clerk responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $200!"

Hung out to dry...
05:28 Mar 01 2013
Times Read: 863

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.



He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.



Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital,as she now considered her to be mentally stable.



When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna,I have good news and bad news.The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.



The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'



Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.. How soon can I go home?'