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Momma: Owen! Food!
Owen: In a minute, Momma.
Momma: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast!
Owen: Kill her, Larry.



Momma: He's trying to kill me! I asked for the salted nuts. He brought me the unsalted nuts. The unsalted nuts make me choke!



Momma: Who the HELL are you?
Larry: I'm Owen's friend.
Momma: Owen doesn't have a friend!
Larry: That's because he's shy.
Momma: No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid!

this is a sample of what i have to put up with on a daily basis....