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PhoenicianDream's Journal


PhoenicianDream's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

I'm not sure I've ever felt more like a cog in the machine.

21:18 Nov 22 2024
Times Read: 12


Today's a shit day.


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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:53 Nov 23 2024

:( Hope tomorrow is better





   

Random thoughts

21:21 Nov 15 2024
Times Read: 85


As I was driving down the road today playing a game I call 'deciduous or dead?' I was wondering if anyone else does the same. I'm sure someone else somewhere has those same random thoughts too.


One of my friends and I have started comparing the fucked up things that are ingrained into our personalities, likely as a direct result of our upbringing and other abusive relationships. It's nice to know that you're not the only one when it comes to that miserable shit. She has been hinting lately that she thinks I'm on my way to a mental breakdown. That sounds like a nice vacation.


In my pursuit of perpetual window shopping online, I recently discovered that they do book advent calendars. As in... 12 whole books. It's not inexpensive, and I don't find it likely that I'll spend over $100 on something for myself that's just a 'want' rather than a need (referring back to paragraph 2).

I talked the people at work into a cookie exchange for the holidays. We used to do them pre pandemic and they were fantastic. You would always go home with so many goddamn cookies. Of course once I did this I promptly started recalling every video I've seen online where people do nasty things like wash toilet seats and dildos in their dishwasher. Jesus Christ I hope none of my coworkers are those freaks.

I'm not really in a holiday mood this year. With everything going on, I just don't want to bother with it. Why add more stress when you already have plenty.

I may have a 'fuck it' night where I throw wood into my fire pit and sit by the fire reading until it burns out. Sounds like a nice way to spend my Friday night.


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Here I go with some vague shit..

06:20 Nov 04 2024
Times Read: 132


I saw a journal entry recently of someone who is getting married soon and looking at black wedding dresses. I don't remember who it was (sorry) but maybe they'll see my entry too.

I would encourage you to look at AliExpress when shopping for your dress. If you can get past not being able to try it on before you buy it. I decided on a black and red dress myself and I went by the measurement chart listed on the dress I chose. I thought it was absolutely beautiful, the quality was amazing, and the price was affordable. I think I probably paid extra to have it shipped as quickly as I could. This is what it looked like in the picture, and it's exactly what it showed up looking like.

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I tried on white dresses at the local bridal shop to appease my mother, but it wasn't really for me. I also tried on a couple of their black dresses, but they felt like overpriced shit when I had them on. After looking through hundreds of dresses this one spoke to me the most. I guess that's how it happens sometimes.


Anyway best of luck on your big day and I hope maybe you see this entry.


COMMENTS

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immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
07:49 Nov 04 2024

Haha, pretty sure that was me, I've been posting about wedding ideas in my journal for me to have in one place and remember. That's a gorgeous dress, and I'll definitely keep that option in mind when it comes time to really take a look and decide on something. Thank you.





Surreal
Surreal
21:29 Nov 05 2024

I absolutely love that dress...and as I'm still looking at/for wedding dresses myself, I'll have to check out that site.





 

The weather is amazing tonight.

04:45 Nov 03 2024
Times Read: 160


Cool autumn breeze. Rain. Thunder. Lightning. This is my kind of weather and I've waited so very long for it. It could rain most of the time and I'd be perfectly happy. I've got the house opened up, a period drama playing in the background on tv, sipping raspberry hot chocolate. Time to make some headway in my book.

Fishing was a bust this morning, but I honestly don't care if I catch anything anyway. It's the relaxation of sitting by the water and enjoying nature that I go for. I thought about not even baiting my hook so I would intentionally not catch anything. I decided against it. It all worked out in the end.


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Wide Awake

08:02 Nov 02 2024
Times Read: 179


I'm supposed to wake up in less than five hours to go fishing with the family. Surprise surprise I can't turn my brain off. My thoughts are going a mile a minute tonight.

I think I'm going to force myself to read for a bit until my eyes get tired and I pass out. I don't really think I'm enjoying the book I'm reading right now, and I find myself hoping that one of the main characters is ☠️ by the end of it.


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