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So I get up this morning my shoulder hurting like I have a knife stuck in it. I head to storage to get my laundry and every ziploc bag I have for my daily serving of protien is chewed up. I talked to maintenance and tomorrow he is giving me some mice bait to deal with the problem since I'm his favorite renter lol. I have helped him evict some junkies he was wanting to get rid of by letting him know they were sleeping in the unit they rented. I'm so close to flipping out because of the events of this month. I have been trying to stay positive and keep my eyes on the prize but some times thats easier said than done.

More then once I have blocked someone only to get messages from thier friends asking and on occasion demanding I remove them. Now let's be crystal clear. If I feel I have a reason let me repeat if I as in me...feel I should then I will put someone on block and anyone who sends me a message to remove them. I have sole creative control over this account and will exorcise that. I would not tell someone else how to run theirs and will not be told who I should or shouldn't block now don't get me wrong I have a pretty thick skin but 4 things I dont do drama and keyboard badasses also arguing all three are pointless oh and let me include people who waste my time

This fucking sucks (pardon my french) but it really does. I had to drop my physical therapist because he didn't know what he was doing and for the last 3 or 4 months I been dealing through problems with my shoulder and my hands. Working out and ignoring the pain. He said it was ok to return to the gym so I did. For the last few days I have went to sleep with severe pain and waking up not being able to lift my arm past my beltline. I have to go back to a orthopedic doctor and trust they will fix me. I'm just so tired of problem after problem affecting me. I have overcame every obstacle that gotten in my way and I'm not about to give up without a fight. It is going on 8 months since I have felt 100%.

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Dakotah
16:35 Jul 20 2019

I had to send a few packing myself. When it comes to my body, my recovery, only the best are going to mess with me. Like I said in PM's Bro, we really these days have to be our own patient advocates. Glad you are back. Tell you what else, you are an inspiration, and I hope many here follow your journal. You have been to hell and back and you still do it! I admire the heck out of you and honored you are my friend. I think when cancer started the Honor system it was journals like yours, members like you, he had in mind for us to be able to give honor too.

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Darkward
16:39 Jul 20 2019

Thank you, your an awesome friend and I'm the one whose honored

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Liliancat
16:55 Jul 20 2019

I wish you fast recovery and no pain or distress

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Darkward
16:58 Jul 20 2019

Thank you but I have a suspicion I will need surgery

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Liliancat
17:47 Jul 20 2019

Eeven if its that you should take many opinions. Think of it and always do what is best for you and your health. I know a surgery isnt easy but your health always comes first

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Darkward
17:54 Jul 20 2019

Thank you and I take my health seriously, I had to postpone this but now it's time to get it taken care of

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Liliancat
18:40 Jul 20 2019

All will be ok. Be positive. You have our good luck

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Darkward
18:55 Jul 20 2019

Thank you

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Well today has been kind of blah. I got up at 6am and got my daily cup o coffee. Not much happens here of interest other then watching methhead drama, usually alot of posturing and that's it. I got my shower and drank my high calorie protien drink. I'm hearing up to go to the gym. It's back and biceps day Whoo Hoo one of my favorite days. Gotta hit storage to change clothes and reup on my protien drink. Tonight is school but I have tomorrow off so I'll be able to relax a bit. I would call my girl Immortalxkiss but I want her to relax her throat.

This month has been phenomenally fucked up. Not only catching viral bronchitis and spending countless nights coughing my ass off. But because it's so contagious I had to miss 3 weeks of school. Now on top of that I flunked this last module and have to wait 6 months to retake it. And the icing on the cake? Spending over $200 I couldnt afford on medications. I am so extremely bent over it. But it's not like I can blame anyone or bring down my wrath. It is one of those things that happen. And that makes it worse, all I can do I just be angry and silently seethe at the situation.

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EmberMoon
21:57 Jul 17 2019

I had the same stuff a few weeks ago, lost my voice from coughing my lungs out. It took awhile to get over it and get to back to feeling better, hope your feeling better. Sorry for all the stuff you had to handle this month,

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Darkward
22:02 Jul 17 2019

Thanks I'm better now but the damage is done. I was so bad I literally couldn't cough

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Morrigon
23:26 Jul 17 2019

I'm sorry to hear this, that sounds frustrating as hell. I know you're a determined person so it must have been a hell of a case bronchitis to do this.

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Darkward
23:30 Jul 17 2019

Its viral and I was told they couldnt give me anything to fight it since it wasnt bacterial

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LZAPERVERT
04:56 Jul 18 2019

I work with a bunch of stoners who have kids and everyone loves to share a blunt now and then. I drink a shot of ginger apple juice and chase it with a orange cayanne tumeric shot. Keeps me from getting their germs and such :}

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Darkward
13:56 Jul 18 2019

I'll keep that in mind

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I was trying to keep up with everything going on here, but I havent had much of an opportunity to come online until now. So the girl I was talking to fell through. It turned out she just wanted to come to America.
Cute as she was she kept trying to put me on guilt trips for not bringing her here. I swore after my last relationship I was never going to let that happen again. So I ended it. I have passed every module for school but the last one. I just ended up getting over viral bronchitis and missed class for 3 weeks. If I hadn't caught it I would be done. And I have 4 electives to do. I just finished the tactical training elective and that kicked my ass. Soon I will finally be finished with school and be able to move forward with my life.

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immortalxkiss
18:29 Jul 16 2019

I'm proud of you, hon! You're so close to being done, it's an accomplishment.

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Darkward
18:30 Jul 16 2019

Thanks sweetness it has definitely been a uphill struggle lol

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