The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A handful of cases have been developing, of disrespectful, and provoking
Behavior on the site.

Have you noticed the pointless practices of such profiles?

How have you been dealing with such distriptive behavior?

What advice (besides blocking) do you have for those who are subjected to
Such senseless activity?

I find it is like everywhere else we go in life. Some people we choose to associate with, others we don't. The difference being is that here we can see what others "say" that would ordinarily be behind your back. Although, no one forces us to go to their profile or journal to see the latest drama. I think it's very easy to keep the drama at an arm's length, if you wish to do so.

I'm not entirely sure this has to do directly with the theme of the Dark Network but I do agree that some take it upon themselves to force/alter view points.

Between regular members (non-VR Staff) the constant child like behaviour is indicative of ones own lacking of self control and discipline. I find it greatly disturbing when one side cries fowl when the points of views they support are getting lambasted and yet when an opposing ideology attempts to engage in civil debate the once oppressed now become the oppressors.

The vast majority of "spokes persons" are guilty of hypocrisy and whats worse is when they claim a hypocritical action of theirs is nothing more than a legitimate response. I don't care what you believe or what you don't belive but I'll be damned if what I believe gets attack by emotionaly driven individuals with little to no factual bases. It distresses me to see so many claim to support the free exchange of ideas, tolerance, having an open mind etc one day and the next day all they do is attack with preconcieved notions and without a willingness to admit they may be wrong.

Although it's more rare there are several admins (from acolytes up) who will blatantly use their position to either cut down oppositional posts in a thread or will use their power to publicly go against VR TOS and open up threads with the intent to stir up trouble. What is even more outrageous is when an "innocent'' member gets banned or censored because they were simply following the heard and doing what others had done in the past with no "punishment."

It's hard to have a forum or public site in general that can effectively combat loud, obnoxious, rude, mean etc members without cutting down on the rights of the "good" members. It's even more difficult to engage in honest debate when some that do have actual power use it to deffend either their own agendas or a friend of theirs.

In the end we as rule abiding, intelligent and ethical members must maintain our own high standards so that others may follow. We must stay out of the ick and mud as much as possible to, hopefully, show others a better way.
If things get to bad to bare then self-deletion is always an option. Obviously I hope it won't come down to that because I would hate to loose some of you folks :)

We should also though understand that Admins are NOT perfect people and some act in very unethical and just plain old mean ways. Admins give their time and effort in the hours and weeks of work, all for free and we should support them. As an example LadyC, Sevenn, MBK, Joli, Morrigon just to name a few. Those who are acting in an unethical, unprofessional way should be reported. But make sure that it's not some personal thing trying to get VR Staff involved with your own personal "he said she said" crap will get you banned.

Sorry for the rambling hope it made some good points :)

Dabbler my good man what a great thread. Well, I have blocked those people, I have ignored them, But someone how it always end up getting back to me in one way or another. I am all for blocking everyone and only keeping the people that are on my friends list unblocked.

There has just been so much childish behavior, that you have to wonder, how old are these people. I graduated from high school a long as time ago. And I wanted to take a trip down memory lane again about how much drama there is , hell I just turn on any daytime soap and get my fill.

There are certain people that have proven that they are so not worth the time of day to even waste the energy on. For those that just seek out to cause grief they are some pretty sick sociopaths. But it's a good thing that there are certain people that are watching and do handle them selves like an adult. I just chose not to involve my self with anything of this twisted game any more. We have block button, yes above and beyond that I just don't know.

Being openly engaging with new members is of great value as well, as I settled into the site I had a scatter brain, a few people came right out and
Eased into the site, people that feel struck by new, or revisited sites, could be compared to any actual social gathering.. First time at a club for example,

Those that seek to by pass the social "established funtion" are drawn to
People with underlying Agendas.


So the programs like adopt a whelp, are preemptive.

if the matter is thrust into deeper areas it misses the social dynamic
Element that is dulled by grit, and friction,

Conflict and Debate are social interactions, mockery, and slander
Should not be easily swept away as drama.

Dabbler...I agree with what you posted:

"Conflict and Debate are social interactions, mockery, and slander Should not be easily swept away as drama. "

This is so true and happens so much on this site. It seems as if it is running rampant anymore and does not make for a very pleasant way to get away from life to come here to interact with others and enjoy oneself.

But this is as you said much like a social gathering and you have those little circles of vicious and malicious people who like to point out flaws in a person or ridicule them...much like a school bully...only to make themselves feel better because they have things in their life they do not like.

It is sad to see adults act in such a manner but it is one thing you come to expect when in a community setting such as this. Jealousy and envy rears it's ugly head and unfortunately many have to suffer as a result. Some go far enough to self-delete because of it. That is not what this community was created for but rather to get people's viewpoints and put them together with others in which they can relate to.

That balance Is found in communicating grievances, that have merit, by concencus, a few clearly presented cases against a group, or person
Can be addressed, ideal to avoid, revilery from undermining the community/society.

Challenges, and competivnes are found those that are here looking for a reason to not like the site will act in any number of ways, the site has filled
Out since I have been here.


When another member mentions a unbecoming interaction to a real or contrived offense, first avoid reactionary projection, avoid any onerous
commitments ( don't automatically respond by taking side) keep a nutral
Reporter angle, this may help the person settle the matter, or scrutiny
And a few questions van flush out a shady accuser. If the matter is something that effects others, then how I'd it handled?

So I want to put my neck out and suggest a pit fight chat for those with
Pending feud.

Dominar Note: Just as long as it is in a private chat room ...

I have only been here a very short time and so, have not yet experienced very much of this or all that VR has to offer (but I'm working on it).

It seems to me that we have tools such as 'Block User' that would help an offended party combat any mockery or slander. I assume that any pointed, malicious comments made in a public or house forum would be removed by the appropriate Dominar or Administrator.

If someone takes it upon themselves to write something nasty about you in their profile or journal, I don't see much recourse. However, you don't have to go visit that profile. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Debates and conversations can always get out of hand (here or anywhere else for that matter). I'm sure, in part, this is why the forum is moderated. The participants should try to remember it is a debate. It's not personal. Everyone has an opinion and a reason for having that opinion. Expressing your opinion and the reason for it is all that is necessary. Someone will have a differing opinion. If you have stated your opinion and the reasons and someone continues to provoke you for more, we aren't obliged to respond. It may be the right time to back away from the conversation. Of all the forums I have read so far, I have not once read a final post that declared a victor by an impartial judge. In the end, no one will win or lose the debate. There is no prize. If there is no further rationale for an opinion, it's fine to leave it at that and not let the debate degrade into something else.

Usually, I would have stopped typing long ago, my apologies to all, but I felt I needed to elaborate. It's a shame to think that some have taken upon themselves to delete their accounts. I really don't think that we should lose anyone. The diversity of any population is typically a measure of the strength of that group of people. I think the more diverse we are, the more interesting and better VR is, and will become in the future.

Most of this thread in my opinion is basically doing the same thing as said individuals who are being accused of their activities.

Though I do agree that blocking those individuals when it comes to messaging or whathaveyou, is not a basis for what they represent themselves to be within the forums...Society, or otherwise.

If their behavior gets out of hand, then the admin...With many being the operative word, may override any other admin with just cause for doing so and the problem gets resolution. Improbable causes are always resolved.

I do think that if there were actions that were ignored...VR would be overwhelmed with ignorance.

Personally I have not had the "privilage" of aquanting myself with those individuals, and when or if I do, they will be BLOCKED without so much as a word.

Eh, such is the way of life. Shrug them off like a bad habit and go on with your life.

Blocking does not seem to work in all cases; I have had a few change user names and start again. I get involved in no drama or anything of the sorts, but it seems that a few newbie’s seem to express things in dramatic and non culture ability. So I just ignore the messages and delete them.

Our culture of the young seems to have no respect and do not value the views of who has intellect or has seen the world and its cruelty and love. I don not know what the answer is, some here may consider me new to VR. But I hold my tongue. Usually like anyone else here. Would like to know the answer to this.

It seems VR has become a society of pickup artist in all cases some of the profiles and messages seem to not go with why I had joined, but to each I guess their own.

I do agree with you Honorable Dabler,

Even I too fallen to mis behave and shocked how could I do this and immediately oppologise for not harmonise the matter in regard the posts. I true myself a little mad kind of person and thus how i can not tell others to stop the things. My conscious though aware what is the right and what is the wrong even though I fell to wrong side or goodside and shocked why did I wrong to others and I can't expect from others coz their velocity of voice is only to that subject only and I leave that matter to their wiseness only and You too I can suggest that leave the matters immaterial to you and Personally i do love you and respect your voice and read it all with interest and learning upon it and when i do read your voice, that time I ignore all other voices.

This is my nature that I when read one voice, ignore all voices even my voice too and as if I am new enetity to the phenomena and grow upon it.

I love you are good soul and this vampire site may others on Rave and speak out loudly their voices ignoring others they too have their right and we all must boost each others voices and must not hurt others best regards.

We can't force them to humility coz we are The VR we are beyond these minute matters we must ignore it and care that these matter ust not touch us to flame us.

I love your smile and happiness most.

Have Bliss Time...

i agree with you.... i've only been here for a year and a half.... and some of the profiles i've seen in here WOW..this is not a dateing site...i for one enjoy reading about different stuff....i have learned alot in the time i;ve been here...alot of stuff i didnt know before....i have a few people "blocked" because of the attiude they spread and the way they answer my messages...

Those that provoke such distruptive behavior count on unaccountable reaction. When they fail to provoke said distription they are likely to fuel existing matters, usually by siding with slanderous members, a experiment I held produced a few barbs against a percieved opponent. I am happy to state that that person self deleted, perhaps by lose of face/mask.


One of the first post says it bluntly, ignore them.. I would say ignore them, but for accountability log the occursnce, you, or a sharing member may not be the first, or last target.

Those who like to stir the pot I shall say do not target one individual but a group of people. Which is pretty sad, A few of us have made great friends and have learned alot from individuals and for them to ruin it is just Pathetic.

Dabbler I concur with this post and i hope things shall come to a point that some shall just say. don't be cruel, change statis on posting higher I donot know the answer I guess.

Yes I do learn upon this. I will act this way next time. Even I too was the so much reactive being the part and lit the flame in debate. I will not react that way in future to any one targetting me and my group or genre. I will either ignore this all or polite to them and will remember demon's mantra is the silence.

You still have yet to enlighten us as to what the "demon's mantra to silence" is dear ~Demonlovesyou~.

Ignore the users that hack you off. Block them, and don't get involved in anything they do. This site has 10,000+ users, it's more than big enough for everyone. Just because one person has to be a paion in the neck it doesn't have to ruin the experience for everyone else.

Those that seek reaction to their provocations, use that reaction as presentation material for seeking alliance in their campaign against either individual, or group. When the fuel dries the wick wilts.

By numbers the site presents many diversions. So well stated above this post.

I'd already had my share of unnecessary BS from members here- some of which in covens I had been part of. Some of them being masters there and others being members I shared the spaces with. I don't let them ruin my time here, instead I jjst block those users and don't make any attempts to contact them. I plan to reach Sire no matter how long that should take and form my own coven. I'm not going to let some users who don't know how to leave well enough alone stop me from getting there.

As a quick follow-up to my former post here... if by "disruptive" you refer to a post or a poster who forwards no argument, no new ideas or views with supportive evidences for same, and seeks only to insult or attack others here without providing any evidenciary or logical foundation for such... then that, also, is not so much "disruptive" as it is that that person is simply being contentious and insulting, and ought to be dealt with accordingly.

However, it is very important that such be truly determined the case rationally and reasonably prior to judgment, condemnation and/or censure or reprisals.


- Upir'

In forum debate is worth noting, yet this thread aims at social disruption, that point being alluded to earlier. Such matters can bleed over to social
Reaction though. When a "bored" individual seeks to provoke a disturbance
An engaging debate can be used as a ruse for "picking at scabs".

Keeping the social, personal, and forum in context assures site function.
How easily blurred those elements can be.

I fully hear ya on that, Dabbler. And as I stated... if someone is pushing such personal agendae or vendettas against others, then would not any such be off topic and, thus, be already in violation of policy?

Thus, I'm very concerned... and I feel quite justifiably so... that the usage of the term "disruptive" is casting too wide a net and will inevitably lead to truly innovative thought-provoking posts being likewise so labeled and perhaps even censured as a result thereof if determined by majority opinion that any "disruptive" posts be so treated.


- Upir'

To respond, Upir- this is what I call disruptive:

Abuse of knowledge given, such as items which are very personal- i.e. airing out someone's personal business in a coven forum and in a VERY disrespectful way because you don't respect your CM's decision to keep a member in THEIR coven. Use it against me to those I know and I might send you a message that won't be anything close to being ice but you'll already be on my block list- just call it an endgame.

Lies. I have no time for those who cannot be honest, no matter what it is about. Ypu wanna lie to me? Fine, stop talking to me all together. I won't miss the aggravation, trust me.

That's what I call disruptive and reason for blocking. Maybe you have a different opinion, but over the past 4 months here I have had reasons for taking this stance on things.

Just these past two responses from Drakonus and LostXSoul illustrate well the point I was trying to make:
The term "disruptive" alone is too open-ended.

If, as Drakonus states (and as I did, as well, I might add) that someone is using the forums to further personal agendae against another, then such ought to be censured.

HOWEVER... if, as LostXSoul states, a post simply causes someone to feel uncomfortable is and ought never to be a condition upon which a post or poster ought to be censured. Again, Galileo caused many to feel tons of "discomfiture" ... as also did Newton, Bruno, and Einstein. So also have many philosophers done likewise... and a few were killed for daring to challenge the religious and/or philosophical status quo.

This is precisely why I stated that the usage here of the term "disruptive" casts far too wide a net and will inevitably lead to people recommending as "disruptive" posts and/or posters who are, in fact, providing some very meaty and thought-provoking posts which others here might indeed find most "uncomfortable"... yet are very on-topic and very important.


- Upir'

Posting in the forum was not all was talking about. It is those who move outside into the voting and comments that seem to irritate others.

The forum it is if I do not want to post because of unruly posts I just avoid these. Its my choice in whether to walk away or try to push the envelope alittle more.

A few here I know and do Have some fun but it never gets into the personal side of it. It only goes along with the post and nothing else. It is fine to debate the posts but not the people. This is when it crosses over to Mockery on the post. And when unruly people take over.

Well said lost soul.

Others may offer advice and knowledge but each has a right to choose and do what they want with it. Right or wrong it does not take away from the persons belief or right.

Excellent point, Ade.

While the Bill of Rights certainly protects, as best any society can, the inalienable rights mentioned in the Declaration of Independence "...among these the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happinness", yet no one should or could guarantee someone the right to never be offended or made to feel uncomfortable. At some point, each of us needs to own our freedom also to choose not only our actions but also our reactions (emotional and otherwise) to others and then be responsible to ourselves for such choices. And so also anyone else here.

If someone offends, deliberately or otherwise, choose to either get over it or approach the offender firmly yet reasonably. If such still doesn't work, then either escalate the incident higher up here... and ignore them.

And in my opinion, anything worthy of escalation to site management here should be treated on a case-by-case basis rather than any blanket site policy.


- Upir'

Well, those of you that know me, know I am going to tackle this one with as much candor as possible.

VR is no longer what is used to be. Any of you members that have been around for at least three years (or very well near that) can see the changes all the more clearly. We have been infiltrated by mainstream, by the little kiddies sneaking a go at mummy's laptop, the divinely sadistic and multiple sad cases of people who truly need psychological help.

At the end of the day, this is merely a digital corner of a huge universe. It should not be life altering -- however, for some of us who have watched this place grow... and now retard, it means more than that. For those of us who came here and built real friendships, relationships -- goals and aspirations; many of you are now watching that positivity be eaten away by angry moths.

Ignore? Block? Let's call it like it is -- sure, we can do that. We even have administration that assist. I would like to say I believe in all the administrators. However, that would be a blatant lie as there are those who sadly add fuels to fires they should put out. What is saddest is that some of these people have been around from the beginning. Where they began to morph into the very things this site was not about, is beyond my comprehension. Still, shame on you for bringing us all down your toilet.

Too many people have been getting hurt here, lately. It is ridiculous. It should nto be happening. Between the sudden popularity in whoring oneself on their profile and knifing others in the back for sport -- I no longer find this to be veiled mockery. It is blatant as a punch in the stomach.

Once upon a time, I will say, VR helped save my life. I feel a level of gratitude and debt for that. As for this silly transformation into kindergarten... I see no reason for me to merely ignore an intruder in my house. While everyone takes a blind eye approach, the inmates will take over the asylum. I'm watching. I refuse to see VR turn into the Titanic. However, there are leaks in the bulkheads that need attention.

*laughs* I guesstimate four people will read my response. The rest? *laughs*

Perhaps some Coven Masters, and Admins. Have resigned after effort spent was devalued, usually ( benifit of doubt) unintentionally.

There are muckers that appeal to those in authority
To add impact to their sociopathy.. Out right presenting
Their case under sly pretense, the matter could be disolved.. Yet that is not the intent of muckers. Bad Communicating Grievance starts with the provoker claiming the others parties reaction is offensive, and then seek allies, in real life they are cop callers..

Good communication of grievences is best handled by mediation, if a provoked person seeks mediation, and the matter is presented with a third
Nuetral party then all the better, it is not uncommon for a mucker to argue
The need for mediation.

When people see how mature society handles slander, and mockery without more of the same, the muckers leave in bordom.

Some muckers are only muckers by proxy.

The way to open their eyes both to the way they have been manipulated,
As well as to what the site offers those who interact in a social way. The Adopt a Whelp program, and Greeting party, made me welcomed to the site.

I remind all members that posts to this thread must remain polite and on topic. Do not abuse any other member here. If you have nothing legitimate to add, do not post.

Unfortunately, I being mocked, but it was to a point of being harassed. It got to the point I deleted a profile I had for over two years because I got so upset. Of course I cannot stay away from VR so here I am with a new profile and having to start from scratch to get back what I had....Sadly the person who did this to me is a Sire with a Coven.

mockery, abuse, combatitiveness, I don't know sometimes I swat back, but mostly I just ignore it. To the point where a certain person's increadibly long winded posts are never even read by my me. How "beastly" of me.

Very well said, LadyChordewa.

I have seen examples of off-site harassment as much as coven disputes. I speak to all parties involved considering every case has had multiple people involved in such. I get the facts, and maybe I'll send a not so nice message blasting the person or persons involved and politely remind them that this is not an open discussion- the block button has been used. I have had numerous people turn on me on a moment's notice and it is partially why I am in the coven I am currently in- there I wll stay until I am sure a Sire's mark being removed won't drop me down to Necromancer. I have blocked coven members and Coven Sires alike- and unfortunately I don't think I'm done. I have been on this site for only 4 months now (a LOT of rating and time spent) and I am already a level 20- I don't care how long it takes me to get to Sire but I will be here and no one is going to force me out.

Almost forgot- those who talk to member off-site: You can stop being harasses just as easily as here. MSN, AIM and Yahoo all have block options- use them if you must.... I do.

Hmm very interesting that people give advice that they don't follow them selves.

Yes being in an online community has it hero's and villains if you may. Someone will always want to point out character defects in ways that are malicious, just to make them self look better, as they hide behind there fake mask.

Block button all the way is the best way to go, what is the limit on the amount of people you can block, Because the BS is getting pretty thick in here.

I by nature have started to distance myself from all the garbage that seems to be ruining this place. People being blocked, phone numbers lost (intentionally, and yes I know a few of the users in real life) and covens left has been the result for me thus far. I have had a bad year, and one of the only things I enjoy anymore that won't leave me sloppy and stumbling drunk is being on this site if not talking to a friend. I'm not about to let some clown with an attitude ruin that for me, even if it's a CM.

I repeat what LDR just said.......very interesting that people give advice they don't follow themselves. I myself am guilty of this. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I've been hung in the middle to dry. No one seems to be able to talk to the accuser or accusee to clear their side of the stories any more, so anger wells up and people get hurt by nasty words on a screen. I was always taught to hear both sides before judging. A lot of the drama here doesn't allow for that - hence hurt feelings, blocked users and lost friends. I've learned the hard way to practice what you preach. Self deleting has come to mind but I never did. It's not worth it. I love this site regardless of what is past. I just keep trying my best to refrain from perpetuating drama, and keep upholding the rules the best I can.

Simple, ignore them and concentrate on the positivity of the dark network site.

Why let other people spoil the fun for you?

I myself get angry over things and rant in my journal and have thoughts of self deleting but then I remembered that these sites have lot of things to offer therefore I skip profiles, people that I dislike etc...why let it bother me.

I am absolutely no stranger to controversy around here...so I might as well throw my two cents in as well.

If someone mocks you or flames you publicly on VR, what does it matter? Just ignore it and utilize your block button. That's what its for. This is an online realm and as long as what's being said doesn't affect your family, friends or job in real life...it shouldn't even be worried with, because all it is is words on a screen. Don't let VR bleed into your real life, is what I'm saying ;)

Life is short...make fun of it! [ /soapbox ]

I couldn't agree more LadyC!!

This may be "just the internet" but how we act when we feel we can let our 'hair down' is indicative of either how we'll act in real life or at least how we'd act if we felt we could get a way with it.

Rather like the old saying "you'll know how a man will treat his wife/girlfriend by how he treats his mother."

I don't understand how people can act like jerks or let things blow up without using logic and wisdom to determine the truth. Living your life with an even temper and not acting a fool off the fly is paramount to maintaining both a real and cyber life of relative peace and happiness.

Besides, it's ignorance to think that people will behave any differently online than they do off-line. In real life people will abuse power, spread rumors, get mad etc.. why wouldn't they do it in a world where they don't have to worry about real life consequences?

Be reasonable, show respect and don't be ruled by emotions that can change on minute by minute bases. Plus no one, no one can MAKE you feel anything.If you get hurt or upset over something it's because you allowed it. I may be able physically harm a person but there's no way I (or anyone) has the power to alter how you think or experience things, which includes emotions.

As in real life- you can only do so much online to stop them. Cancer has given you a great power with the block button. Yes- they can talk about you with others, but so it is in life. The words “Leave it alone” comes to mind. If people are telling you what so and so said- tell them to shut up. IF you want the drama to stop- YOU have to stop giving it the power and attention it seeks.

People are going to be mean to you, they will twist your words and turn people against you. They lie. Just because you come online it is not going to change. I myself wish I had a block button in real life. *wonders if Cancer can do that*

And the Admin are not to involve themselves in members disagreements. Its in the rules of the site. I am not your Mommy. Act like adults, and stop the little digs that this thread is getting known for. Looking in the mirror would help a lot of us.

(Bows in reverence of most revered all Majestic Lords and Majestic Ladies and few Their Excellencies for they are underage)

Deare Majestic vvSoulshroudevv,

HHhhhmmmm .I did not say any thing just told that demon's mantra is silence. I am the demon by nature, I can not control my inner nature all the time though I am trying all the time. So I shouted at my self that "demon's mantra is silence" when the serious topic is going on, I must not voice in stupidity in between intellactual talk. So I warned my self that in the whole VR I must not speak voice of flame if i do not have boosters for others.

better for me to keep silene in debate is in velocity.

I am not going to sit here and act as though my wings simmer and my halo glows. I admit I will openly and subtly mock someone. It is in my nature, my humor and my freedom to do so. If someone cannot take it then grow a thicker skin. If it is right or wrong it is my ability to choose which one I feel is right. With that said I will continue to do both without feeling the need of approval.

What I find more damaging are those who will handle you like gold to your face and then melt you down when you have left.
Those are the ones that do not get blocked and most times the ones who start the most issues. While you are speaking to them with trust and whatnot, they are running off and spreading your story with an altered version.

Then you stand in disbelief as it all comes crashing down around you. It’s a sad story; also a very hurtful one. It’s amazing the situations you hear of that people gather for to express their disapproval in silence.

I believe there are some situations where admin should be involved in member disputes. Even though they are not ‘babysitters’ there are legitimate problems where someone does need help. There are times when you would be amazed at what the real story is and not just what it appears to be.

It is one thing to say "to treat people as you wish to be treated" than it is to actually do it. Especially if you treat them that way at face value and then in a different manner when they turn away.

No one is perfect. People will mock, ridicule and treat others not fairly. We are human, it is going to happen. For those that sit there and say they do not, I am sorry but you are not being fully honest. In order to better yourself you must admit your faults.

You can lie to yourself all you wish, but when you start lying to others about who you are, then it is deceitful.

There has been some very good advice given in this thread but as with real life its effectiveness depends on how you choose to use it. Before this denigrates into the very thing it was seeking to discuss avoiding, I’m closing it.