The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Ever since I went to the hospital for my CAT scan I have been feeling off. When I was at the hospital my BP was ok, but my pulse was through the roof at 92. They had to give me three doses of Metoprolol IV. Last night, I took my BP it was now high too with the lower number in the high 80's. This morning I did my walk and my BP was 139/91 and my pulse 137. I am eating right, I am taking better care of myself and yet my BP and pulse dont reflect it. Why am I even bothering? The damage ia done. I am destined to die a fat ugly cow. And it will probably be soon. I will probably be laying down and my heart will just explode. Well time to stress out over school work before the weekend or my next hospitalization, whichever comes first.

Just got another paper back from the court. My name change hearing will be on March 7 at 8:30AM. YIKES!! I have to get up REALLY EARLY!! I must have the article in The Record by February 21.

I refuse to let the world say I don't exist. I am an American and I deserve the same rights as everyone else. I am tired of being told that expecting the same rights is demanding special rights. I am sick of being told that I should not be a part of society, that I should hide so as to not make cis people feel uncomfortable. I am sick and tired of conservatives making laws that discriminate against me. I fear that very soon, doctors will be able to refuse to treat me because I am trans, I will be refused to be served in a restaurant because I am trans, that any Evangelical Christian will be able to discriminate against me for housing utilities and other necessities of life because I am trans. All anyone has to say is that providing these goods and services goes against their religion and its all will be legal under FADA. This is what FADA (First Amendment Defense Act.) will bring, more hate and discrimination because people fear transgender people. They think we are all a bunch of degenerates, rapists and perverts. This is going to be a very scary four years.

I have been under the influence of hormones and during a mood swing and depression and fear I made a journal people found offensive. The last line of the journal stated that now I know what the Jewish people felt like under Hitler. I apologize. I admit I am an asshole and deserve the negative honors. I am truly sorry to those I have offended.

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BeautifulEnlightenment
04:45 Jan 24 2017

I accept your apology and admire your courage to step forward and make amends with those you may have offended. Not everyone is good enough to do that. Good for you. :)

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GatsunoKisu
10:45 Jan 24 2017

I totally never pay attention to anything you say but this kind of annoys me.

You have the right to express yourself, people who don't know your life personally can't know what you are going through every single day; no matter how much you post in your journal.

You feel scared, tired, upset, like being yourself is going to create a calamity which makes your life crash down around you and you can't openly say it, you should be able to say it here.



The people who were offended, they can do whatever they will do. If they feel you made an ass of yourself, they will give you whatever punishment they feel necessary in order to push you down into a corner. It isn't helpful, it is only meant to make you feel bad.



Anytime you feel like you are right you should never back down. The way we handle ourselves in adversity is very telling. I don't think you are an asshole because you said something when you were depressed and anxious. Even if it seems extreme and inappropriate it was the comparison that came to mind for you.

For all I know, maybe sometimes you do fear for your life.

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MordrakusxMortalitas
20:14 Jan 24 2017

You did nothing wrong, fact is IF Trump and his vice president could get their way with no opposition, you would feel like a jew during the Nazi invasion.

I have heard plenty of comments and desires by them to perform electroshock therapy and who knows what else on LGBTs, basically its the same as Jews in that you get persecuted for being "different". Ha different...all humans bleed and die the same, there is no difference. They had wiped the lgbt community from their website or so I read.



The only difference compared to back then is that currently you are not being forced to go for the "treatment" Trump has yet to have the power Hitler had and with the progressiveness of most of america, he will have a difficult time doing so.



But your concerns and fears are not misplaced, you have a right to express your fears. Problem with this site dearie, is that it has got plenty of over-sensitive pricks looking for excuses to have a go at someone. Just ignore them because what they say or do should not matter to you. Just be yourself, honest and true.

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cr8054
20:59 Jan 24 2017

Thanks all for your kind words. It means a lot.

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Weather is crap and I feel depressed and dysphoric. I hate that junk between my legs. I feel its keeping me from being a real woman. I just feel like a cheap imitation. I wish I could have SRS right now so that I can be the woman I am supposed to be.

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BeautifulEnlightenment
18:10 Jan 23 2017

Remember what I said.. The majority doesn't care and your friends are WITH YOU. Don't let that small group of people dictate how you're going to LIVE or how you're going to FEEL. ;)

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shynne
03:31 Jan 24 2017

Hang in there.

You'll get to where you want to be.



And I agree this weather has been way too dreary.

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I know I have probably said this once but I think I need to say it again. Right now in my transition with the hormones, I am very prone to mood swings. Sometimes I can get VERY emotional, VERY moody and sometimes just downright depressed. This is normal. It happens. I am going through a second puberty. So I ask for your patience and understanding if you see me losing my shit or going off the wall a bit. Sometimes venting on here is therapeutic. Getting the crap out instead of holding it in so I dont have a total meltdown. Once again, please be patient with me here. I really appreciate it.

Just had a chat with an older trans woman. She helped get my head and my ass wired together. Nothing is going to stop my transition. NOTHING. Not Trump, not the knuckle draggers who hate me just for being trans, NO ONE!! This bitch just got her fuck you boots on and is going to start kicking. If you are with me, I appreciate it. If you are against me, stay the fuck out of my way!! This bitch will go down fighting. I am Elena Marie Durant and no one is going to keep me from being me.

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Anaksha
01:52 Jan 22 2017

Who hates you for being trans?

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cr8054
11:56 Jan 22 2017

The majority of Americans.

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BeautifulEnlightenment
18:09 Jan 23 2017

That's actually not true. The majority actually doesn't care. It's a very small group that hates based on race, sex, creed, religion, etc.

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Darkness has fallen in America. Today our nation became a theocracy. Pat Roberson and his ilk, our mullahs. Republicans will soon pass FADA and Trump will sign it. With that, Christians will be able to discriminate against anyone they feel like and cite their religious beliefs and get away with it. I already have zero rights under the constitution as it has no protections based on gender identity. Its only a matter of time before the military or a civilian militia comes to my door, weapons drawn to take me away for execution. So much for living in the land of the free.

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MordrakusxMortalitas
22:37 Jan 20 2017

Well if they come for you just stab them or something, let them work for it.



Seriously though, you don't need to worry that much, Trump is still just a puppet and thus needs to get the government's approval before he can impose his "vision" on america.

America is more progressive now, so his desires won't accepted so easily.



Why complain when you can try do something? I am sure there are thousands who think the same as you, get a petition done or something, invite media attention to the issue etc.



Point is, when enough people shout, someone does listen.

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I am not going to let the fact that my state does not allow me to change my gender marker on my birth certificate bother me and get me down. They cannot take away the fact that I WILL be changing my name legally and that WILL be on my birth certificate. No matter what, my death certificate will still say that I am Elena Marie Durant. Thats what would go on my headstone, my obituary and thats what everyone will know me as. So what if the death certificate says I am male? I aint going to be around to care and everyone that knows me knows I am female. The gender marker on my license, the most important document I carry, will state that I am female. There are no gender markers on Social Security cards nor Medicare Cards.The name on everything else will be Elena including my charity care papers and card. How they gender me as far as hospital records go is anyones guess. I am hoping that future hospital bracelets will state that I am female at the very least. Whats in my medical records, well, I guess they do have to state that I am male to female transgender even if the sex states female. I also hope that after the name change and change of documents, I dont get stuck with male patients as that would be very uncomfortable. Especially when they say, here are your medicines Elena or Ms Durant. As a final note on this topic, change may be coming very soon. Another male to female transgender person is suing the state of New Jersey to be able to change the gender markers on birth certificates with a doctors letter stating that the person in question is clinically changing their gender.(i.e. on hormone replacement therapy) The state assembly has been trying to change the law as well. The only thing in the way is Governor Krispy Kreme. He has vetoed the bill every time it has come up and the last time the assembly failed to over ride the veto by one vote. So whether plaintiff in the lawsuit wins, which is likely because the lawyer filing the suit won a similar case in Pennsylvania or Governor Krispy Kreme leaves office. Eventually I will have the right to change the gender marker on my birth certificate. That will most likely happen no later than sometime in 2018 when Krispy Kreme is finally out of office. Although with Bridgegate, that COULD happen sooner!!

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BatsInTheBelphry
02:28 Jan 20 2017

as someone who has legally done a name change, it doesnt change my birth certificate it will change on drivers license ,and on social security card and you can start using it to any future documents.

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Anaksha
04:53 Jan 20 2017

Exactly girl. What you know in your heart and those who care about you is what matters. Who gives a fuck what's written on a piece of paper that will be dust in 50 years? ;)

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Been trying to make positive changes in my life. I am transitioning, I am going back to school and TRYING to lose weight. It hasn't been easy and as you can see from my posts there have been some bumps in the road. I have to do this. I just cant sit around the house while the world goes by. Mom wont be here forever and I want to make something of myself. I also wish I could find love and someone to be with and grow old with. But I dont think thats going to happen so I have to focus on the rest. Well enough social media. Got to get to online class.

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Anaksha
17:15 Jan 18 2017

You said it yourself. "I HAVE to do this." It's no longer a choice, right? Get up with me today so we can do our workout TOGETHER! I will do it WITH YOU! :)

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Nothing has helped me clear my mind today, not even venting here. Bad thoughts are entering my mind and I dont want to act on them. I am just going to lay in bed and try not to cry. I hope I can sleep this thing off.

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Anaksha
23:59 Jan 17 2017

Have fun with your friends. Thats what you need to do now :)

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BetseyDarling
09:51 Jan 18 2017

I agree,try to have fun with your friends dear,I know its a hard time for you but try to relax and get some good rest:)

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That sympathy is between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.:-/

I am still in a shitty mood. I dont feel like doing anything. Between not being able to change the gender marker on my birth certificate which makes me feel like less of a woman, wondering how the hell I am going to survive Trump and total republican rule over the next four years and just dealing with dysphoria in general. I just hate life in general right now. I care so little that I decided to try the injectable estrogen that I have had sitting around for months. I had bought a scoring tool to open the glass ampoules the stuff comes in. I drew the stuff into syringes but neither ampoule seemed to have the full 1ml of liquid. Now I dont have to take estrogen for the next two weeks at least. Been trying to di my school work but after three and a half hours, I just couldnt do any more, especially English Comp, it it SOOO boring!! So I shall just mope the rest of the afternoon and evening. I dont see my mood improving any time soon.

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Anaksha
23:58 Jan 17 2017

It's the hormones. You should tell your doctor how this stuff is making you feel.

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Thanks for making sure I will never be able to amend the gender marker on my birth certificate unless I get SRS. Thanks for letting me know that in your eyes and in the eyes of the state, I am not a real woman. Now I feel like I am less of a woman, like I am not even human. Then again, most people consider trans people to be immoral and sub human filth to be wiped out. And people still think this is a fucking choice? Even people born in Pennsylvania can amend the gender marker on their birth certificates. Even though there is a lawsuit pending, It may be YEARS, if ever before I get the right to be legally a woman. After all, there is no guarantee this lawsuit will be successful, especially with the new administration which is very anti LGBT. I was in a good mood, not anymore.



http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2016/11/transgender_woman_sues_nj_for_right_to_change_her.html

Did my second laser appointment and there is one word for it..... OW!!! It stung pretty bad. There was a disturbing odor of burning flesh as the tech did her job. I still smell that smell. I thought it stopped stinging until I put some moisturizing cream on and then once again OW!! This ought to be a fun night.

I am sorry about my rants, but I have been in a bad mood and that makes me impatient. Some of this is from life events, but its also from the hormones. I am feeling things I never felt before in my 46 years and I havent been able to control it. At the moment I just want to have my transition including SRS done like right now. I want to be complete and I am nowhere near that completion which frustrates me even more, I am hesitant to want to go on anti depressants or meds for anxiety as I hear they can make you gain weight. I certainly dont need that. I just hope I can get all this under control and soon. I dont want everyone thinking I am a complete basket case.

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TenderSadist
05:30 Jan 16 2017

If you have real anxiety it can rob you of live experiences. Go to a psychiatrist and get low dosage xanax. Just having one in your pocket IN CASE you find you need it can empower you to do things you would now be afraid to try. Good luck!

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This has been a bad 24 hours. First I failed in my duties as an ACM. Then I screw up my nails trying to fix some chips in them. Then I got the reminder that post op trans people don't really like us pre op people. That just made me feel like I am not trans enough or womanly enough as a person. That just added to my dysphoria. Then a friend that was supposed to do dinner with me failed to do so. So now I feel like the ugly girl no one wants around. My mood is rotten to say the very least I don't know what the fuck to do. I sure as hell don't feel like dining alone like some freak. Part of me just wants to go to bed and forget about the world.

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Anaksha
23:54 Jan 15 2017

I'm unsure of why you feel that way as last night I told you that was not the case. I'm not sure what you're trying to do here, but I have only ever supported you in my coven. Never made you feel like a failure. I'm not sure where these feelings are coming from, but it would be nice to know so that everyone doesn't MISTAKENLY THINK that I'm mistreating you. I would definitely appreciate that.

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Anaksha
23:57 Jan 15 2017

I can help you with your nails if you like though :D

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cr8054
00:25 Jan 16 2017

Mary you have been a great CM and have treated better than I deserve. Bottom line is I failed to induct Fallen Angels last night. Thank God she was inducted by someone friendly or we would have had a disaster last night. Alll because I wasn't fast enough. I am supposed to be one of the fastest ACM's but that wasn't the case last night. Someone else beat me to the punch even though I was watching and I thought i was doing my job. Beaten by less than a second or so it seemed. Maybe it was more than a second and my slow ass didn't realize it. Either way I failed you.

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TheClockworkAngel
03:52 Jan 16 2017

YOu did not fail. She wouldn't be in our coven if you did and she is! :)

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This has been a rough morning for me. A lot of dysphoria especially since I am shaving. Its task I hate so very much. Its like a giant fuck you from mother nature. I have had one laser appointment, I have another laser appointment tomorrow and a third thats paid for. I know I will need to have more laser sessions after that but laser wont get it all. I have to get electrolysis for the remaining grey and white hairs. Then an older trans friend who has had bottom surgery done reminded me that there is a great divide in our community between pre op and post op trans people. It seems like pre ops hang with only pre ops and post ops hang only with post ops. I know she didnt mean to do this, but it just made me feel like I am less trans less of a woman because I am pre op and I dont know If I ever can get bottom surgery. I want it and I am trying to lose weight to accomplish my goals. I am thinking of getting bariatric surgery to help with this. Needless to say I am in a rotten mood right now. I am preparing to go out and I hope that will help.

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KieaCakes
20:23 Jan 15 2017

It's a long and grueling process. If only it could all be done at once with a snap of your fingers.... Try not to over worry. Taking things slow is usually much better for body and mind anyway. Just remember, always, that you are beautiful and you are loved.

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Anaksha
20:29 Jan 15 2017

Don't let it make you feel a certain type of way. Remember what I told you about the hormones? RISE ABOVE it. Find the WILL to RISE ABOVE. You can do it. I love you girl. You've got a plethora of people surrounding you and carrying you through. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^

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Today I was watching a profile for induction. I got the heads up that this person was updating and I was right on top of it, but someone else beat me to the punch. I hang my head in shame and I hang up my induction conductor hat for good. I honestly dont know why I am kept as an ACM. I sure as hell havent inducted anyone lately and everyone I have inducted has turned out to be a dud. How I am not demoted and blinded is beyond me.

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Voelk
06:34 Jan 15 2017

Because you are a good person and an asset to VR.

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VvvLilithaVainvvV
06:34 Jan 15 2017

Girl you are crazy. Stop that. You're a GREAT ACM and one of my BEST ACMs. You wear that hat PROUDLY because you have EARNED it. ;)

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SimpleMan
09:27 Jan 15 2017

You do a good jab. No need to be ashamed at all my friend.

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So whats in store for today? I would like to get my paper for CEIS done so I am free for this weekend. To me, there is nothing worse than having to spend your weekend writing a paper. I need two days to veg and let my brain relax. All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl!!

I peeked into my webcam, I had been doing other things and found that an anon typed fag in the chat box. Yeah, ok. You are SO fucking brave you cannot put your name to it. Real adult you bigot.

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Wurdulak
16:35 Jan 12 2017

Hmm. Kind a like when someone leaves negative honor and chooses to hide their username. ;)

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cr8054
00:14 Jan 13 2017

Dont know what youre talking about. I havent given negative honor to anyone in a LONG time and when I do, I put my name on it.

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LadnaKobieta
05:17 Jan 13 2017

I have taught all my coven members that it's worth the hit you might get in return. At least people look at you like a pussy the way they look at a person who calls someone going through something so unbelievably PERSONAL, a fag. SMDH

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cr8054
10:17 Jan 13 2017

I agree Ladna, If I am giving negative honor, I want the person to know it was ME who did it and why. I am not a coward in such matters and you have seen this. Calling ANYONE a fag outside of busting balls is just plain wrong. Who are we to judge others based on their sexual preference or their gender?

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I got all the paperwork for my name change done, I have the appropriate copies made and the envelopes are addressed. I have to stop at the bank tomorrow to either get a cashiers check or money order for the $250 court fee as unfortunately my county doesnt accept personal checks. Once that is done, I have to go to the post office to get the appropriate postage for both the envelope and the self addressed stamped envelope and I also have to sent this certified mail with return receipt requested. Somehow I have to do my school work as well as I have two papers due by Sunday. Busy busy busy!!

I see a number of people placing blue ribbons on their profiles. Its supposed to be a show of support for the cause of anti- bullying. Unfortunately this noble cause has been hijacked by several people on this site and they are using these ribbons to bully another VR member. To that end, I will NOT put a blue ribbon on ANY of my profiles. The only ribbon I shall fly is the ribbon Bats made for me as a show of support for me and transgender rights in general. I will not be a part of the bullying and drama. So all of you just stay the hell away from me and dont contact me. You know who you are. I dont need your crap.

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BeautifulEnlightenment
12:14 Jan 12 2017

Yep. They've been warned SEVERAL times to leave me alone. Then there of course are the LOOK AT ME messages from Cat BEGGING me to read her journal about her "dying ferret". She knows I won't look at her journal. It KILLS her that I won't even GLANCE at the NONSENSICAL journals that probably took her ALL DAY to write ;)

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cr8054
14:34 Jan 12 2017

I'll bet she doesnt even have a dying ferret. Thats all to get sympathy from the VR crowd. I dont buy it. Once again GC and LD are the cause of all the drama on VR.

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Been trying to do some school work as I didnt get much done yesterday. I have a 1pm appointment at the IRS office in Parsippany to hopefully get my 2015 transcripts for school so I dont get booted out. Then I have to go to War-Fart or Staples to get printer ink and manilla envelopes so I can copy all the papers I filled out for name change and then get them sent in. Of course, if I go to War-Fart, I will have to look at other things like maybe another color of nail polish or maybe some costume jewelry or maybe even another color of eye shadow. You know us girls, we like to SHOP!! LOL!!

I am so sick of EVERYTHING right now. Moms goddam lawyer still hasn't called back and now I cannot get a transcript of my tax return from the IRS. I have tried every which way to do it and nothing. I am going to get booted out of school because of this. NOTHING is going my way and I am destined to be a pauper for the rest of my life. Add to that, I am going nowhere with my transition because I cannot get my name changed and I will probably never get SRS the way things are going. I am just tired, tired of fighting and tired of living right now. I just want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up.

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shynne
00:26 Jan 11 2017

Don't give up.

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BetseyDarling
06:32 Jan 11 2017

Yeah,dont give up dear,i guess it takes some time.

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I sit here and I see the entries of other transpeople who are getting their surgeries or getting documents changed and here I am spinning my wheels. The only thing I got is HRT. Whoopity do. Been doing that without an RX for months. I feel like I will never get to where I want to be, to be one of those transwomen who are finally happy, finally complete. Heck, I cannot even get my mothers lawyer to call me back to make sure I wont fuck up moms will, power of attorney and special needs before I send my name change papers in. On top if that, I cannot get my tax return trans scripts so I could get booted out of school. I am really upset tonight. More dysphoric than I have ever been. I just hate myself and my body.

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xxSEXYxx
03:47 Jan 10 2017

I'm sorry that you feel this way, but look up! Things could be worse for you! They could be writing like, 3 journals a page about you like they're doing to me :D

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I must be nuts and should have my head examined. I went out yesterday to get the Union Pacific Olympic Torch Relay locomotive even though it had started snowing and up to 3 inches of the crap was forecast. I started in Ridgefield Park, NJ with 1/8 inch of snow on the ground.





BNSF 6746 is on K-139, empty oil tanks out of Philly headed back to the Baaken Oil fields for more crude at Ridgefield Park, NJ 1/7/2017



Hearing that the Olympic Torch Locomotive was getting closer but might be held back at Teaneck, I decided to go up to Bergenfield to make sure I could get it.





Success! Union Pacific 2001, the Olympic Torch Relay Locomotive is on Q-254, auto racks for Doremus Avenue in Newark, NJ at Bergenfield, NJ 1/7/2017



The Q-254 was beginning of a mini parade!





CSX 5499 is on Q-409, a manifest freight out of Albany, NY bound for Rocky Mount, NC at Bergenfield, NJ 1/7/2017





CSX 3166 is on Q-158, an intermodal train from Chicago to South Kearney, NJ at Bergenfield, NJ 1/7/2017





Last train in the parade, UP 2628 is on K-623, empty ethanol tanks, I THINK they may be out of Philly and they are headed back to the midwest for another load of ethanol coming off track number one onto the single main at CP-10 in Bergenfield, NJ 1/7/2017. The snow is really coming down at this point.



After this train, I went to a 7-11 and got myself some food. I kept looking at the radar and I was smack dab in the middle of a band of heavy snow and it was obvious that the snow would not be stopping any time soon. There was an inch or more on the ground so I called it quits. The ride home was slow, but I got home in one piece. Enjoy the photos!

Just filled out the paperwork to petition the court of Bergen County to change my name legally. It wasnt that complicated and the (CIS) form while more difficult had a guide to walk you through it. Tomorrow I will try to call the lawyer that drew up the power of attorney and moms will just to make sure my name change doesn't affect any of this. I am assured by most people that it will not. Then I got to cut a check for $250 and mail it all in. Then comes the wait for the papers to come back and get a court date. I have filled out the sample form to be sent to whatever newspaper the court tells me to send notice. That will have to appear in the paper two weeks prior to the court date. This is another move forward in my transition and another step forward to the rest of my life. I am excited and scared at the same time. I just hope my father who has accepted my transition so far will be supportive in this as well.

I just dont feel trans enough or womanly enough right now. I am only on pharmaceutical HRT for seven months. I am only starting to go full time, my dead name is on all my documents and SRS is years off, if I can ever get it. Right now I feel I am but a boy in a dress and I hate it. I hate having this junk between my legs. I want it gone. I wish I was born without it. I want to be a real woman, not a cheap imitation. Feeling disgusted about myself right now.

I want so very much to change my name legally to Elena, but I cant. Mom's asshole brother and sister would probably contest moms will. After all, the estate goes to Dead Name, not Elena. Then there is the power of attorney. I could screw that up and I cant risk doing that. Mom isnt competent to pay her bills so I have to. Signing that damned name over and over every month. So in effect, I have to wait until mom is gone until I can change my name. I am 46 now and lord knows how long she could live. God love her, She gets the best care money can buy so she could live well into her 90's That means she could outlive ME. That means I go to my grave as dead name and Elena will never legally exist. I should just go back and change my name everywhere back to John Eric Durant as thats who I will always be. A MAN who takes care of his mother. The one that is responsible and never get what he wants. Duty is all I have. Duty, what a MAN does, not a woman. I just wish I could die right now so I wouldn't have to be a man one day longer.

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BatsInTheBelphry
18:00 Jan 05 2017

well changing your name isnt quite that bad, its a little work, and you will heve to do a bit, but 1.i goes thru the courts who publish it in a legal paper... 2. If I remember right that send few clippings of the add you run. 3. Your social security number does not change so the names are still linked in that regard. Youll have to get a new Driver License that number will possibly change, not quite sure because with me it was my last name I changed and Licence number starts with last initial.

You will have to send letters and fill out possible paper work to any bills, credit cards or anything you deal with saying youve legally changed your name and will be using said name from now on...

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TheArtistRose
01:36 Jan 08 2017

Woman or man, a duty is a duty. Gender won't fix who you are on the inside. But good luck on changing the name. It shouldn't be too hard.

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Today was the first day of college. Spent four hours between the two courses and I am beat. What the hell was I thinking?? What possessed me to think I was good enough for college?? My people were not evolved for this. Looking it myself, I am short, stocky and if I were in shape, i could probably break a telephone pole in two. My people were evolved for one thing, HARD MANUAL LABOR. Thats why I dont have much in the way of brains. I hope I can do this and not flunk out. If I do, I will owe a SHIT TON of money and have no way to pay for it. I think I am fucked. Great move moron. Should have just left well enough alone. Time to lay down and have a good cry.

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xRobin3x
00:59 Jan 03 2017

You will be fine. your leveling up in knowege, which i know you can do. and the money thing will come in when your get a better paying job with the knowlege you gained here.



keep strong.

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POST COMMENT

So on 12/31/2016 I embarked on the final road trip of 2016. It certainly was a difficult year. I nearly died in July and spent 4 days in the hospital and another 14 days in rehab. Lets just say I am glad 2016 is gone. So here we go, the last road trip of 2016.





NS 7236 is on 053 a dimensional extra at Acqueduct, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 9772 is on 63V, garbage from New Jersey at Bailey, Pa 12/31/2016





I cant get away from those damned CSX BONGAS!! CSX 3331 is on 65T, empty oil cans out of Philadelphia at Leshville, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 9255 is on 21E, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Old Ferry, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 2597 is on 21J, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Millerstown, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 8375 is on 26T, an intermodal train bound for Harrisburg at Thompsontown, Pa 12/31/2016





Grab shot of NS 9499 on 20E, an intermodal train bound for Secaucus, NJ at Van Dyke, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 6752 is on 16T, a manifest freight from Chattanooga to Allentown, Pa at Van Dyke, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 9417 is on 23M, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Mexico, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 9193 is on 67Z, empty ethanol out of Philly at Thompsontown, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 7246 is on 23Z, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Thompsontown, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 8154 is on 11J, empty autos out of Newark, NJ at Thompsontown, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 7508 is on 21M, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Newport, Pa 12.31/2016





21M passes under the soon to be retired former PRR position light signals at Newport, Pa 12/31/2016. Their replacements have been installed and will be cut in very soon.





NS 1021 is on 67T, empty ethanol out of Philly at Leshville, Pa 12/31/2016





NS 9330 is on 21A, an intermodal train bound for Chicago at Leshville, Pa 12/31/2016



After this, it got too dark for photography so it was off to the Marysville Diner for dinner and then home.

Enjoy!