cr8054's Profile at Vampire Rave.

Hello, I am CR8054, the conductor on this crazy train. While on board, keep your feet off my seats and keep all your body parts inside the train. Neither I or the railroad shall be held responsible for any injuries or lost appendages if you fail to do so. Please have your tickets ready and do not mess with my seat checks!! Mess with them and I will throw you off my train at the next station. Oh and remember, since we have ticket agents and ticket vending machines at every station, tickets purchased on board this train will be subject to a $5 surcharge. The railroad strives to provide the highest quality equipment and locomotives however, we reserve the right to substitute motive power and/or equipment at any time for any reason without prior notice as operating conditions demand.

Now that thats out of the way, I am an older, newly awakened Human Living Vampire. No, I do not have fangs, I am not immortal. I feel I am a sanguinine/psychic vampire. I may also be slightly empathic as well. What does this mean?? I am like most of you out there. The only difference is that I need to feed off energy and the blood of others. I have a feeling I have been unconsciously doing this my entire life. I have come to Vampire Rave to explore this part of me and hopefully to develop the skills to mange my vampirism effectively so that I am doing this safely and properly.

I have been fascinated by vampires and vampirism all my life. I now wish to walk down the dark path as I feel I am destined to do.

Also, I am a male to female trans-person. I began transitioning via hormones in February with herbs and then started DIY RX hormones in May. I have now been on legitimate hormones since the beginning of December. I hope to get bariatric surgery at some point and lose weight so that I can eventually get SRS in the future. Whats SRS? Its sexual reassignment surgery. Basically they will take my penis, turn it into origami to make a vagina and remove my testicles. That is if I dont have them removed even sooner so I will no longer have to take an anti androgen to counter testosterone production. If that is done, I would only need to take the estrogen which will be for the rest of my life. Some might ask why go through this? Why not stay as you were? I just cant. This is not a choice. This is who I am. I was always Elena, just that she has been trapped in the body of a man. I am finally being true t who I am. Elena can now be Elena and I am so much happier. I am finally becoming comfortable in my own skin.

I was born and raised in Bergen County in Northern New Jersey and this is my home. I can't imagine living anywhere else. You can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl. Prime example, my father has been living in Pennsylvania for a number of years and he wishes he could come back to New Jersey. While there are many bad things about Northern NJ, there are a lot of good things too, like the food. Some of the best diners and Italian Restaurants are located here. Heck one place I go to, two slices of pizza are almost the size of a whole pie and you can't finish a large sandwich, you have to take half of it home. While I sometimes hate all the traffic, there is so much life here, it just makes living in the sticks seem so lonely by comparison.

My main interests are railroads and photography and I spend most weekends out and about well....photographing trains. I am into American and railroad history as well. One final thing is tracing abandoned railroads either on site or by google maps. Its amazing how some railroads, abandoned for years can still be traced from up above, even if the property has been re developed.

My tastes in music are generally rock and heavy metal with a tiny bit of punk mixed in. I pretty much dislike anything after the 1990's. Whats with this "hip hop" and synthesized stuff anyway??

As for myself, I am 45 and never married. I am on disability due to heart issues and I am also primary caregiver to my mother who suffers from vascular dementia and maybe even alzheimers at this point. Taking care of mom is almost a full time job. I have a home health aide that comes in for a few hours five days a week. I do get out, especially on weekends. I manage to take some day trips out to PA or upstate New york a couple of times a month. As for Mrs Right. I have pretty much given up on that search. Bein g transgender pretty much shrinks my dating pool to nothing. That and I'm just getting too old to start a family and could never afford to provide for a girlfriend, wife or family on my meager stipend from disability. Its not the best life but its the only one I've got.

New Blocking Policy:

I generally don't block people however if you block me, I will first try to contact you via one of my other accounts to ask why just in case it was an accident. If there is no reply in 48 hours, I will return the block. If you are an asshole to me, I will be an asshole to you.

My rating policy: I will always rate a 9 or 10 if you have put some effort into your profile. If you don't, you won't get a 9 or 10 but I never rate less than 7, UNLESS your profile is suspended. Then its a 1. Sorry but I just cant give kudos to those who don't play by the rules. If you have made improvements to your profile and want me to re-rate you, please send me a message and I will do so. I will always rate portfolios a 10. If you rate me and my portfolio, add me and my journal, let me know so I can return the favor.

Thanks,
Elena.

For those who wonder why I chose CR 8054 as my profile name. Here is a photo taken by J.B. Kerr of CR 8054 or Conrail 8054 if you will, on a local freight in Jersey Shore, PA 12/1995. This is the first locomotive I had ever worked on as a Brakeman Trainee during my brief stint working for Conrail. It was at the Academy of Industrial Training which was in a former Westinghouse Factory in Tinicum, Pa which was not far from Philadelphia which was Conrail's headquarters city and right next to Essington, Pa where we lodged at the Holiday Inn. It wasn't a bad two weeks, but it was culinary hell unless you like cheese steak 7 days a week, LOL! I wish I had my own photo of this locomotive, but I couldn't take a picture of it when I was at AIT as they kept it indoors when it wasnt in use. I didnt have a cell phone and certainly there were no cell phone cameras back in 1998. Of course being in training for the railroad, I certainly couldn't bring my 35mm SLR camera to class.