The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Ok so I have been trying to research how to build barriers and channel my energy and I can't seem to find the information that I am looking for. Can anyone give me any tidbits on how to do this and have the barriers stay instead of diminishing when I quit focusing on them? Any information on these subjects would be greatly appreciated!

I remember the first time I heard your voice. I was complaining about talking to someone I didnt know. I said it to Cassie, told her I didnt want to talk to some dude I didnt know. Just in time to hear you saying that to me when you heard what I said. We hit it off, and you asked me out. I wasn't really all that interested, but I said yes anyways because who was I to turn down something that may be destiny? I remember you calling me every night, talking long hours on the phone, and falling asleep with you on the other end of the phone. I remember coming out to job corps to see you for the first time. I remember staying in the hotel and feeling ackward for our relationship was based on the phone. I remember leaving the next day and crying all the way home cuz I had to leave you there. I remember you breaking up with me, only to be asked back out like 2 days later. I remember how we changed after that. Things were different, you were different. I remember you breaking up with me again. Us deciding to be friends. I remember you coming to visit again and we acted like we were still together. Everyone swore that you and I were still a couple, even though we werent. Now you are here again and I swear that everyone thinks we are together again. Do you remember all of this my love? For I do. I want to be with you. I miss you and I love you.

Since I became a Wiccan I have always wondered what it would be like to reach my full potential. What it was like to stop doubting myself in everything that I did. I never thought I would let myself fully go and let all of my energy out. But tonight I sat down and had a self talk, followed by some deep meditation. I also went through the journals of a lot of people that have also joined this site and I have to say I think something in me has finally opened up. But a long with that realization, weird things are beginning to occur. My back and my right rib cage started to hurt. Now I'm a spell caster, and a damn good one at that. And I have always been able to feel and hear the other spirits that are in my apartment. I am a natural empath as well. But tonight has been extraordinary. I woke up from meditation and was so fricking thirsty I felt like I hadnt had liquid in my body for days. I tried kool-aid first, didn't do anything. Then I tried water, which usually quenches anyones thirst. That didn't help either. Tried milk...nope nothing. Then I realized it....my vampirism has totally woke up tonight. And that is just the beginning. I was typing up some poems tonight after this happened, and I have all the lights turned off because my eyes hurt with the lights on. Well anyways I was typing up a poem and I glanced to my right (I have the computer on the floor and I'm laying on my stomach) and I jumped because I saw a man standing next to me. He scared the crap out of me, but when I looked up again after being startled he was gone. So now I am beginning to see spirits too. It's really cool, but I have just noticed two gifts tonight and that is a huge ascension that happened tonight. And so now I sit here, and I am thirsty, and drained of my energy with no way to replenish it without sleeping and it sucks because I am so not tired. If anyone that reads this has any input on ways to build up energy without sleeping thatd be great advice!