THE LITTLE THINGS20:44 Jan 20 2011
Times Read: 824
You know, the Big Things in life don't bother me. I suppose it's because they're bothersome to everyone in the same way. Death. Taxes. Suffering. Lies. Bee stings.
Blah blah blah.
No, dear reader, they don't trouble me.
It's the Little Things that bother me.
It's the Little Things -- dear reader -- that vex me. The Little Things piss me off, often irrationally so: the expensive new pair of shoes with laces that won't stay tied, the stranger who keeps accidentally texting me because they wrote a phone number wrong, or the jerk in the Mercedes Benz who rudely cut me off while blabbing on the phone, etc.
Each one is trivial and inconsequential in its own way. And each one erodes a tiny speck off my soul the way the ocean quietly, relentlessly wears stone into sand.
Now, let's change direction slightly and talk about the trivial and inconsequential ways that people employ to set themselves apart, like
business cards, for example.
I cannot think of anything less important in a business environment than business cards. So I'm always surprised when someone hands me a business card that has some crazy shape, or a different size, like the one shown above.
I know people want to be different. We're ALL unique little snowflakes -- really, we are. And since corporations are made of soft squishy snowflake-people, sometimes you end up with different unique business cards.
I get it.
I do.
You're different. Your company is different. I noticed your new logo printed on the glossy, heavyweight card-stock. All lower-case letters in a fresh ultra-mod font. The rounded edges on the card are a nice touch. See? I noticed. I wonder how many man-hours of creative time & concepting went into it. Focus groups. Logo designers. Lawyers. Color experts. Brand-developers. More lawyers.
A lot, probably. The result?
New.
Different.
Non-conformist.
Got it.
But this shit is getting out of hand. Your business card is suddenly
too different. I noticed it, but for all the wrong reasons. It stands out like a wounded impala in the herd. I -- literally -- cannot handle your uniqueness.
It falls through my hands, you see.
Oh, look... here comes the evil TRASHCAN.
Nom nom nom.
In other news-that's-slightly-related; at work I've been promoted to Digital Media Connectivity Social Media Something Advertising Something Technical Blahblah Something Something -- they literally told me to come up with a title that includes the words "digital" and "social media".
And you know what THAT means, right?
New business cards.
*insert Sideshow Bob's maniacal laughter here*
COMMENTS
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Morrigon
02:25 Jan 27 2011
Damn man... You have the classic car of staplers.
VenusFire
02:45 Jan 27 2011
What! No VR coffee mug?
Bijou
02:59 Jan 27 2011
LOL i love how you have vr on at work.
ThothLestat
03:01 Jan 27 2011
Thanks for not drawing attention to my ChapStick addiction. Or the mug I st0le from the CIA.
*shifty eyes*
Lullaby
04:08 Jan 27 2011
Redness - Does this mean that it goes extra fast?
philosopher
23:24 Jan 27 2011
That's a sexy stapler.
fromtheashes
01:39 Jan 28 2011
Or you will burn this place down right? lol
ThothLestat
03:50 Jan 28 2011
I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven...
DestroyingAngel
00:01 Jan 30 2011
ROFL!
*sighs happily* Office Space....
Nice stapler by the way.
Theban
10:44 Mar 04 2011
Wow what a tidy desk with the red scissors in the CIA cup, and that stapler looks top of the range!