The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I can't help but allow my brain to keep me up. A lot to think about, a lot I'm realizing. The thing I keep getting tripped up on is the interchanging of the word 'can't' for 'won't'. One specifies that it would be out if your control as being unable to make an effort. The other is an ownership of personal knowledge and feelings, a stand to conscientiously decide not to do something.



I miss you. I want my brain to stop thinking so much.



What is it a peasant can have free,

That a king can never buy?



Peace of Mind.

COMMENTS

-

---

xxEmaeraldxx
23:24 Sep 28 2010

Why do you trip yourself up on such words when they both have such a different meaning... .? Go, where your heart leads, the rest can always melt in around it :)

---

POST COMMENT

Can't sleep, I've made note of that behavior and how you feel about my doing so.



I miss your presence, and being able to watch you rest. I suppose how I am online that most wouldn't figure I'm actually a touch oriented guy. Though I am, I miss touching your face and neck. Running my fingertips up you back and holding you close.



I'm a softy, big woop wanna fight about it? Lol.

I'm lucky to have you, and I gotta be careful not to lose you.

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
16:25 Sep 22 2010

I so miss your touch and you....

---

POST COMMENT

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

COMMENTS

-

---

xxEmaeraldxx
07:59 Sep 22 2010

wow, that is so uncanny in a real sort of way Pinja! a bit like mines too. This tarot quiz is really spot on heh!

---

POST COMMENT

The Random section of my journal is exactly that. It may or may not pertain to my life, but honestly it rarely will be about people I care about or myself in any serious fashion. Generally that can be found in the top three sections. No worries, i'm still crazy, just had to have a moment of clarity ;)



*thrusts off into the darkness*

She left 45 minutes ago. I'm sure she's driving safely. This blows, because I know when I come home tonight from work she won't be there. She's more beautiful in person, and definately just as cuddly ;).



We had a wondeful time, I hope lol. And though she dragged me to a museum there will still be plenty for me to plan when she decides to come down again. Though I hope I'll be going up and seeing her first.



I miss her already. Dammit.

COMMENTS

-

---

KattrinaK
00:16 Sep 19 2010

*hugs*



I feel your pain.





However, this is a Happy Beginning for you two...there will be Celebrations and Plans to come.



I am sure some day, you two will live closer to each other.



: )

---

PandorasBx
05:31 Sep 19 2010

Now don't be acting like you didn't enjoy that museum :P Miss you something terrible too ;)

---

xxEmaeraldxx
23:17 Sep 20 2010

Aaaw, thats just so beautiful.. I am happy for you both :)

---

POST COMMENT

Techies, I need your help. While restoring my laptop to working order and browsing vr my laptop decided not to run VR anymore. No matter the browser I can't access VR, I've done the Internet options and all that jazz. Someone please help. I really can't figure it out. Also I have no clue where to change my cookie settings lol.

COMMENTS

-

---

PAGAN
21:54 Sep 16 2010

have a drink Pinja, hehe it always helps... have you rebooted and all that jazz? Maybe see if your security settings need to be changed, dunno what else to suggest except, have another drink :P

---

birra
22:15 Sep 16 2010

What are you using for security software?



I'm assuming you're doing this from your own home network and not at a public wifi or something foreign, right?

---

KattrinaK
01:06 Sep 18 2010

Birra's the man for that...otherwise go to your Computer Panel, Security Tab, you should be able to clear all cookies/temp files. You could have firewall settings issues as well...like, check your firewall and make sure that VR can get in.."allowed site".

---

POST COMMENT

Are you all that stigmatized by something said once? Yet you forgive others for the things they say. But because he's purposefully acting in a way that bugs you, he must have been serious about it. He must be lusting after all our preteens. Things like this remind me that we came from people so uptight the English said get the fuck out. His countries customs are his. But it's not like you go around teaching your Tweens to not cyber and succumb to Internet depravity ;) oops personal responsibility guess it's afk

COMMENTS

-

---

KattrinaK
01:10 Sep 18 2010

I think the upset comes, as you point out, from the fact that "this" person is acting in a way to purposely push buttons.



I wasn't here to read that previous comment, I'm only just back, but have had enough hate mail about "them" to discern the general nature of the "said offense".



We have no right to judge other Cultures and Peoples...Yet, as a Country, we are some of the greatest Offenders on that level.



But I digress....



I think "this" person is in a good Place under the watchful eyes of enough Admins now for us not to worry...especially those with powers to suspend, and those that have suspended "them" before.



As for "them"..don't like the journal, kismets, or comments?



Then don't read them folks...don't go into the Vamp Box to "engage" with "them" if "they" are there.



JMHO, just tryna help.



*shrugs*

---

POST COMMENT

Yeeeess Ma'am! You are welcome! The neighbors probably don't like me right now.

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
22:18 Sep 17 2010

Oh hell probably spiced up their sex life lol

---

POST COMMENT

After reading a few different perspectives an opinions I think I'll out mine.



That day, was a moment of realization got the United states. That we are not impervious to the rest of the worlds plight. That there are people who will bring fights we helped begin, back to our doorsteps when we abandon those we allied. That there are still people in this "civilized world" who will kill innocent people to shake a core group of people.



We should look back, honor those who are past, and learn always what there is to learn. That no matter what is done in this world, there will always be conflict. We can not force people to see our way. So perhaps, we should accept that while most people disagree, truly only a few are willing to kill over such a disagreement.



As for what's right and what's wrong, if those Muslims have ownership, building permits, and citizenship. It is their American RIGHT and freedom to build a Mosque. As is some pathetic holy mans right to burn a bunch of Muslim literature and scripture if he chooses. Though not turning the cheek is a very unchristian thing to do. I don't think the majority of those peaceful Muslims want to rub it In our faces. No, only a few assholes. Then again, there are those like, Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Kanye West, Joe Biden, and countless others. Natural Born Americans, who spout idiocy, and are paid well while doing it. So remember we have our own assholes. Why can't they have a couple loud mouths. So long as they don't infringe upon our right to live, we shall not infringe on their right to Worship.

COMMENTS

-

---

xxEmaeraldxx
22:16 Sep 12 2010

"it is only a few" .. But isn't it those few who continue to aggravate the peace the majority of us want? It is those "few" that have the connections to turn a candle flame to erupt like a volcano, and cause wars. I respect your opinion, but because of the opposition to the mosque in that area..could it ever be a place of peace and worship? Building it could perhaps serve a purpose of future contention between different races. In my opinion, I think this should be considered.



Further to that, I believe America has to find closure and resolution to 9/11 by the capture of the ringleader prior to making any permanent features on the site.

---

POST COMMENT

I'm sorry that my shit, and your shit have been so stressful. I wish it were more easy living for both of us. Nothing that has happened the last couple days makes me want to see you any less. I do hope you aren't in a state of constant reconsidering.

I'm feeling the fatigue of everything now. I just am so sick of being me. A heavy heart has heavy burdens. Burdens I take on, burdens I am obliged to take. I just want to drop, cry, and tell people to fuck off. For once, just once I'd love to get mine, and not give a damn about anyone else. If you lose respect for

me after reading what I'd like to do just once, then none of you are fucking worth knowing. As you don't know me.



We know that what I want, and what I will do are two different things. I'm not that selfish, or cold, or pathetic. I care, too much. I weigh my responsibilities over my personal desires. Even over my personal well being. I could never really be like that. I have a heart, that is special, that makes me unique. I won't let it blacken.

COMMENTS

-

---

imagesinwords
20:26 Sep 09 2010

I think you're pretty awesome. I don't really talk to a lot of people on this site- but there are some I follow and read whenever they post... even when they don't know it. You're one of those people. I find you to be quite authentic in a sea of so much... well, people just not like you.

---

SinsOfTheSuccubus
22:10 Sep 09 2010

Pinja - there are times when a mother is tired of being a mother: pulled on, demanded on, puked on, bitched on... And yet? It's hormonal. It's nature. We swallow it. We think our thoughts and do the opposite. Just like you'll do. Paternal thoughts and obligations are not much different than maternal. IF you're a good parent. And? You ARE. Try to separate the needs from the wants. You have needs. Your child has needs. Then there are the wants. Cover the needs, then worry about YOUR wants first.

---

PAGAN
07:36 Sep 10 2010

I agree with Images. You're always interesting, you talk more sense than most and a helluva lot of fun. Sometimes you gotta just do what you want and let the other things take care of themselves, life is great even with its ups and downs: live well, laugh often and love much ;)

---

xxEmaeraldxx
19:50 Sep 10 2010

Every day, its a new dawn and with that a new perspective but we all carry that burden of responsibilities..and I thank my lucky stars that I have met a new intelligent friend on here who realises the importance of priorities. We muddle through, and if people disrespect your feelings or obligations then telling them to fuck off is being mild. Don't forget to zone in some 'me' time on a regular basis right after carrying out those burdens otherwise you will stress it!

---

ThePinja
05:05 Sep 11 2010

Thank you all. I appreciate your words and feelings.

---

POST COMMENT

It's times like these I wish for the ability to be alone. My mind requires my attention, and will not take no for an answer. So I choose the Catholic setting within, crack open my old NelsonKJV study bible. So many parables, so much widom, all of it lost on those who only see the corruption of the heads of religion. Who refuse to believe words of men. Then if you won't believe the words of others, how as kin to those past, can you believe your own?



Again and again my faith is tested. Not in god, or the prophets. No, in you who claim to be better. To be more compassionate, to be more empathetic, and to be understanding. Is it not enough to just be any of these mentioned characteristics of mettle and heart?! No, instead you are "better" bah! As if the size of one pigeons droppings to another matters. It is the effort, not the proof of effort. Feed your ego, think you care, when it is only your wallet. Your cockles, your wombs entry that matters. Heart, so many lack it completely.



Mine bleeds, slowly, colder, but die not today. No perhaps one day but not for any of you. Not your piddly attempts at self actualized emotional advancement. I won't give you that satisfaction. Where sone fall, beg for answers and solutions, I shall keep striving. Asking, why, to understand, to have love even for my enemy.

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
04:59 Sep 09 2010

So serious...stop that! :P

---

imagesinwords
20:28 Sep 09 2010

"all of it lost on those who only see the corruption of the heads of religion."



SO true! I see the corruption, but it's never made me feel God is corrupt.

---

POST COMMENT

Monday, I'm looking forward to our meeting, and scared too. It's been a while since I've talked to someone like I have with you. Really shared important as well as unimportant things. As boisterous, and confident as I can appear, I am also just as nervous as you. I worry, want it to work out, want to, need to meet your expectations. I worry about you having a wonderful time while you're here. Will I be a great host, grind at your nerves?



....bah It will be fine, you'll enjoy yourself, we will click I'm sure, and you'll learn just how dangerous my thrusting is ;)

COMMENTS

-

---

PAGAN
17:23 Sep 08 2010

Hey, just have fun Pinja everything else will be easy after a giggle or two ;)

---

SinsOfTheSuccubus
22:08 Sep 09 2010

And then that magical moment when the thrusting goes viral on xtube.com. I'm waitinggggg.....

---

POST COMMENT

This morning was not fun. Ryan was crying up a storm since he was cranky and very tired. And then as if bribery would work; "if you're good mommy has a suprise treat for breakfast." for fucks sake woman! He's cranky bribery and a bad attitude don't mix. Of course they didn't and he threw such a fit he didn't get his treat, and I told him it wasn't happening. Yeah begin the water works plus loud noises only one can make as a child. Though he got dressed! Lol.



*crashes on couch*

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
16:42 Sep 08 2010

Oh geez what a way to start the day hun. But you did the right thing, being the "bad guy" will pay off in the end.

---

POST COMMENT

Swiss folk metal. I'm not normally a fan of growl sung songs. But the musicality here is beautiful. These are PROFESSIONAL musicians. I've listene to this album 8 times in the last three days easy.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRcnO7NeVi4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
05:08 Sep 06 2010

Ok. The music was good but if I can't understand a frigging thing they are singing well then no thank you....

---

FiliaOfAbyssus
19:30 Sep 06 2010

Wow I've been drifting away from metal lately but I really like this...thank you...

---

xxEmaeraldxx
22:15 Sep 07 2010

When I first saw the fiddles, I thought it was Irish rock music.. gosh did I get a surprise! I like.. kinda new worldish :)

---

POST COMMENT

It's funny talking to Becky like it hasn't been at least two years since Jeff and heroved to Florida, then Idaho, and had a baby boy. Like a little sister she's been, and then there was all the things they've done. It was momentarily frustrating, they are younger than me, and have done so much.



Then I was reminded of all the things I rarely get to do for any woman I date. I can't take weekends off, I don't have money for spontaneous trips to the mountains, beach, conventions.

It's a sore subject for me, I'm romantic but broke. And I don't know what reality people who say you don't need money to be romantic live in. It does take money, or a vehicle. It's hard to say "let's hop on the bus and go to Seattle!" it's hard to cook a romantic dinner with wine and candles when you can't afford the wine and food to cook.



I guess what I'm saying is, do you really know what you're

getting into? I'm not a money maker, I get by, barely at times. I don't want to fall short of your expectations and standards. But I'll try my best to do what I can.

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
21:54 Sep 04 2010

What kind of a woman would she be if that was all she cared about? How shallow.

---

xxEmaeraldxx
13:18 Sep 05 2010

As Pandy says.. it is the little things that count. Like a smile, a touch, a kiss, thoughtful things. Its not about the money, or time off.. love can never be bought. Good luck, I am sure you will charm her off her feet!

---

SinsOfTheSuccubus
22:08 Sep 09 2010

I hate saying this....REALLY hate saying this. You have no idea how much it hurts me to say this: If you need some romantic ideas that are really pretty cheap?? Let me know. I actually HAVE some. Sometimes?? Dear GOD! I try to be romantic. I really, REALLY try!

---

POST COMMENT

My primary musical passions are in the following order.



Classical for the win, Jazz/swing to place, and Ska/rocksteady to show. This video is The Mad Caddies live. Yeah they are that awesome Im presenting a live video.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PhCHOIm_xo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

COMMENTS

-

---

xxEmaeraldxx
22:47 Sep 03 2010

Cool, you are gettin' in there with the jam :)

---

PandorasBx
22:47 Sep 03 2010

*snores*

---

POST COMMENT

I love being so angry I can't sleep, and that anger creates a headache. WTF.



Yup I'm the only one that gets burned.

COMMENTS

-

---

PAGAN
14:49 Sep 02 2010

Its not good to go to bed angry, the headache only gets worse *hugs*

---

PandorasBx
15:13 Sep 02 2010

I know how to cure that headache ;)

---

POST COMMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd9gfPnW8o4&feature=youtube_gdata_player



-Fake It Seether.

You know I listen to this song, I can't count how many people on VR this actually can relate to.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mabl-XVuDXU&feature=youtube_gdata_player



-Through Glass Stone Sour

COMMENTS

-

---

PandorasBx
02:32 Sep 04 2010

I liked them both, the 2nd a bit more though...

---

POST COMMENT