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I had ran out of toilet paper so the other day when my mom stopped by she bought a 12 pack for me and my sis to share. So last night I forgot the toilet paper was still over at my sisters so I went to go get my half and I come back and my roommate is like man you go through a lot of toilet paper..I really don't but he thinks I do...then like 30 minutes later he's like oh I just realized why you go through toilet paper..you're a girl so y'all wipe front and back -facepalm-
I love watching reruns of Friends and was watching it online the other day and love the part where one of the times Rachel and Ross get back together and she wrote him that letter down at the beach..and he pretended to read it..but later found he hadn't and she said something like "My mom never thought this would work out, she's all like once a cheater always a cheater."
I've always found it funny to see people put on their profiles that if you mess with them, they'll go cry to their boyfriend or girlfriend....can't they handle their own business? Can't they CAP LOCK whoever is messing with them? It's simple..don't start nothing, there won't be nothing. It's an internet website, nothing is real, it's just a cyber number, it will NOT hurt your poor little feelings. If you allow a cyber number "piss you off", you need to seek professional help.
You just think you know everything don't you? Hate to tell you this, but what you thought you knew was someone..really wasn't..it's been someone else the entire time..and if you think really hard, really really hard you'll know who it is..and it's not who you think it is.
-side note- if you think this is about you, you're sadly mistaken..but go ahead and think that it is just so you can have something to cry about in your journal to make your ass kissing friends come to your sad pathetic rescue and you can use the 'oh poor pity me' card like you always do whenever you think someone is talking about you.
I HATE doctors! I've been in constant pain for about 2 years now due to this huge ass hernia I have behind my belly button. It hurts when I cough or sneeze, I haven't been eating like I usually do. Last time I went to my doctor I told him and he felt around..and the whole entire time he's pressing I'm yelling "OW OW OW OW IT HURTS" He gets done and says that it's not big enough to be removed..WTF how big does it need to be the size of Texas!? My dad had a hernia few years ago and was the size of a freaking grape and he had it removed..course he had Medicaid..where I have county crap..UGH I swear I'm so close to removing it myself!
Oh geez. I'm so sorry to hear this, dear! Do they at least give you something to manage the pain?
04:11 Aug 21 2012 Times Read: 571
There were three friends Chris, John and Keith, who decided one sunny day to go for a walk in the forest. After a while they realized that they were lost. And before they knew it they were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them that the only way they could survive from the cannibals was to pass the trial. The frist step of the trial was to go into the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So they thought that was easy enough, and all three friends went their separate ways to gather fruits.
Chris came back first and said to the king. " I brought ten apples."
The king then explained the next part of the trial to him. You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you will be eaten. The first apple went in... but on the second one he screamed out with pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.
Then John arrived and shows the king his ten fruits which were berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be a piece of cake. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therfore he was also killed.
After a while Chris and John met in heaven. Then Chris asked John, " Why did you laugh?, you almost got away with it!"
Chris replied, " I know, I couldn't help it. I was doing fine when all of a sudden Keith showed up with all those watermelons!"
Trying hard not to laugh out loud while listening to my roommate on the phone with his sister giving her advise on how to raise her kids when he doesn't even have a kid.
That's the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place and they've forgotten all about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.
It's sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have years ago. He was always bad, and in the end he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man... as if I could do anything but just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds. They know I can't move a finger, and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do... suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, "Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."
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