Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.
Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
For those of you waiting for replies to your messages I'm sorry but you'll have to wait till I get my home net connection back. Using my phone to reply to messages totally SUX!
If you need to get in touch use FB the link is on my profile.
Hope you're all doing well. Catch ya soon.
^V^
The day has finally arrived. My daughter is on cloud nine and can hardly wait to leave. I how ever have other feelings. No motivation.
We're off to see a Katy Perry concert, needless to say I'm not a fan. It will be pure torture to my ears although seeing my precious daughter so happy will make the experience worth while. The things we put ourselves through for our children.
COMMENTS
If that is the only hardship you must endure for your daughter, then might I suggest giving in to the music and enjoy the time with her. Cherish these times, you only get to have them once. Sing along with her, dance and live.
Lol Have fun lovely! :P
:))0 well done princess
Answer: For all those that keep asking me YES I survived :)
I do cherish the time I spend out with my children :)
lol only just survived :))). i keep telling you about the special memories :))). keep making them :))
Shut up you!!
I know... I always have and always will :)
chuckles winks
Pulls the duct tape out!
You know where this will go :P
in the bin ?? round your wrists:?
How about across your mouth :P
Ohh imagine the peace and quiet I'd get :))))
hmmmm you could try i guess not sure it would work :P
Ohh I'd make it work :P
you sure about that ???? hmmmmmmmm could be interesting
Absolutely sure! Hell yes it would be interesting,
i like the sound of this ::))))
*winks*
giggles
How fucken good is this shit!!
Can't believe Its taken me 30 years to try it again!
First time I tried it I was around 8years old and it was pasted on bread made into a sandwich. God it was disgusting!
Now its another story. Love it!!
Bloody hell what have you got me into Mr Ian :D
COMMENTS
Ooh thats some good stuff! Lol :)
It most definitely is! My new chocolate love. LOL
oh hell blame me :P thats how it is is it :P
Well yeah... It was you that got me into trying it right? Now you had two new addicts to attack your jar with *pokes tongue out* Best thing ever though apart from you.. no comparison there. :)))
ehhm ehhm i only told you that it is awesome if you use it the right way :))). you just been doing it all wrong till now. is not what you got its how you use it :P. ill share it no worries. takes a bow awww thank you :)) you have a whole level of your own on that front tasty tasty :))
Yes you said awesome and got me hooked!!
OMG.. eating a spoonfull now LOL
Can't say I've been doing it all wrong when I only ever tried it as a little kid.
Tomorrows shopping list has nutella on it.
First jar didn't even last a week! ugh :P
Awww Thank you x
Nutellas really good stuff I agree :-)
:) It absolutely is!!
im totally innocent
Pffffffttttttttt errrr yeah right...
but but but
Ohh really... you going to say but??
erm erm erm not sure yet ill think of something
Giggles... Cat got your tongue??
is that a trick question hehehehe . errrm maybeee
Might be :P
growls at you. i like cats :)))) theres one specific cat that can happily have my tongue
COMMENTS
its absolute perfection agreed. and it had to be :))). all the hours spent
OMG so many bloody hours!! I'm surprised you are still sane after it. Anyway I have you to thank for helping me and being my support. *hugs*
Now all we need to do is work on the next one which will be something special :))
oh oh oh oh ohoh so special :))))
Yes it sure will be, can't wait :))
exciting for sure most definately woop does happy dance with pom poms
Don't forget to shave your legs next time!! Hehe :P
lol yup yup yup sorry :). wont do as many backflips. the skirt dropping showed too much hair lol
PML!!!! What sexy legs! Skirt?? what skirt I didn't see one at all, was too busy looking at something else. :P
oh my goodness what on earth could you have been looking at
Do I have to spell it out? teehee
you good at spelling ???
Yeah I am (typo's don't count) :P
Can you read?
when my eyes are fully open yes :) . damn was going to pounce on the typos :P
Haha I beat you to it :P
Ohh I know who is awake *winks*
you did beat me to it lol. hahahahah yes indeed you know whos awake :P chuckles
Living in the future gives me the upper hand usually :))
Teehee good morning Mr :)
good morning sweetness:)) i will always allow you the upper hand
Teehee so cute :)
We are equal baby. Always with everything
apart from the fact im taller ahahahaha :PPP. but otherwise agreed :)))
Haha...Thankfully your taller :D wouldn't be able to give me piggy backs otherwise
bet you feel dead tall when you on my back hahahahah :P
Yes I do :))
The again I'm already on top of the world :))
always always always and everything
and then some :)
:P
Pounces and Bites it :))
I like that
Thanks MasterMel :)
bite bite bite bite bite growlssss
PUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRSS and Scratches
growls and rawwrs
Ohhh Baby!! Mmmmmm
heheheheh yummy
Indeed! Very much so :)
hmmm and whats the result of reduced points ?????
Haha were you sleeping when you entered this comment?? You put your answer in the wrong post!! LOL
Ahh I'll deduct points for pffting at my vision. Points based interview. You'll get bonus if you turn up in the right uniform :P hehe
eyes were half open grrrrrrrrrrr god fucking damnnnnnnnn
Is that your best excuse?? LOL
To my Stalker,
I know your always watching my every move.
I really don't care what you do, you can hate me, judge me, even talk behind my back.
I am who I am, the way I act, think, imagine, dream, dress, speak, love, look, and feel. Will always remain the same.
*The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves*
COMMENTS
thats right :P i am watching you carefully. oh troublesome damn no doubt im trouble for sure :) winks
Ohh you can watch me anytime *winks* Your trouble is always welcome.
winks at you with my beady eye :))). trouble trouble trouble.
Ohhh sexy!! shame you have to be Good :P Haha
only for now lol winks
Hehe.. Just waiting to hear those words.
And you will ))) (once you have lost ) giggles
Not a chance of that happening :))
I powered through last night so now I am unstoppable :))
unstoppable ?? really ?? oh is that so. hahahahah we will see wont we winks
Yeah we shall but I tell ya right now I'm weak :P~
grins resistance is weak :))) eyes glow
Ohh but is full of determination :)))
*powering through*
wooooo hooooooooo POWAH :P
LMAO!!
1 week down.. :P~
Ohh I'm so awesome LOL
So many temptations
i think we both have done well :) a week is a long time :P specially with the temptations . black star i think
Yes we have and I'm very proud of you :))
A Purple star for you xx
so special :)) thank you so much
You're always welcome sexy. :)
blushessssssssss
Awww So cute when you blush x
as you know you have me blushing :)))
Haha Love it!! Kisses your cheeks!
melting melting
Awww so special *cuddles*
ok i have come to fill in a stalker application. where do i go to apply ??
Hehe... if you'll just see my receptionist on your way through she'll give you all the forms you need.
We know how much you enjoy filling them in :P
hahahahaha ok ill grab 6. if i show keeness and willing maybe ill get the job :P
Holy crap you really are Keen. Should keep an eye on you.
Interviews will take place next week.
wahahahahaha keep watching dont want to miss anything :P am full of surprises afterall. oh next week formal interviews. do i need a uniform ?
Ohh you most def are full of surprises. :)
No uniforn is needed, you know what uniform I like :)
Good luck with the Interview :P
heheheh yes yes i know what uniform you like indeed:P. thanks for the good luck wishes . go easy on me :). im not good with interviews
Interview time is 9.30pm Wednesday. Please wear the appropriate atire *winks* I'm sure you'll do just fine :)
i will be ready. no problem atall :P a breeze
Just to clear things up yes NAKED NAKED NAKED :P
aha i see i see :))))
Ahhh I will see :))
not so sure with your granny eyes
Ahhh my granny eyes?? Hmm I'm pretty we have discussed this before MR!
Looks are you with 20/20 vision.
pfffttt pffffttt pfffftttt lol
I'm going to have to deduct some interview points for all the pfffttting!
COMMENTS
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veauclin
13:56 Nov 28 2014
hahahahahaha hilarious :P specially after some of the chats we had
JetBlack
15:42 Nov 28 2014
Its ok I'll help support you too :P
![photo untitled11_zps30c6e63c.png](https://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j9/Jetsie/untitled11_zps30c6e63c.png)
MasterMel2
15:48 Nov 28 2014
PMSL* That was hilarious
JetBlack
11:28 Nov 29 2014
Hehehe.. it is bloody funny.
BADxMOONxRISING
14:01 Nov 29 2014
ROFLMAO
I HAVENT LAUGHED LIKE THAT IN YEARS
Lilithmae
00:06 Nov 30 2014
Ahahaha!!! LOVE it! :)
veauclin
20:28 Dec 02 2014
thats world class :))) love it.
JetBlack
12:55 Dec 03 2014
Giggles :)
veauclin
18:10 Dec 03 2014
you dont need the string though :P winks winks .
JetBlack
13:24 Dec 04 2014
You're right... the string wouldn't be strong enough to hold up it up :P teeheee
veauclin
17:03 Dec 04 2014
well i was thinking that too
JetBlack
05:58 Dec 05 2014
Great minds think alike :)
veauclin
20:54 Dec 05 2014
erm lol so do disturbed ones :P
JetBlack
01:05 Dec 06 2014
Haha... True... Not sure what class ours fall into :P
veauclin
20:13 Dec 08 2014
a little bit of both i suspect