The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Been away for a few days.



I've been busy working, dealing with family matters, and just enjoying some solitude.



Sunday night, my cousin loaned me a horror movie, an independent film, produced by someone local. VERY local. As in, our neighbor...



The story was great, but the camera handling was shaky, and the editing made conversations slower than they needed to be.



All in all though, watching it got me completely WIRED to get back into one of my old hobbies; making video shorts.



Right now, I'm craving the chance to get out in the sun, and run my camera. Unfortunately, I can't find anyone to run my camera for me...



Oh well, at least for now I can stay home and upgrade my computer. The more capable it is, the easier any editing will be.



Gotta go, can't add any hardware while it's running.

Just a quick note, to remind myself how positive today has been.



And even though I'm tired, worn out, and sore, it's all been for good reasons.



Now, to try and scare up some people to go for a hike...

Roll the mystical music!



How to describe today's new development?



Would I call it memory transference?



Let me start by pointing out that I have no cable television, satellite, nor a digital compatible antenna and converter box.



Then, I'll point out that with my e-mail directed to my Blackberry cell phone, I haven't had the need to view my Yahoo mail via desktop PC. (Yahoo mail having the recent news listing on the home page--at least, in the U.S. it does)



And with the latest version of Facebook for Blackberry repeatedly causing my cellphone to lock up, I haven't felt the need to turn on either of my news apps (Reuters Pro and St. Louis Post Dispatch), as they would tie up more processor, causing my Blackberry to run even slower.



NOW, HAVING SAID ALL THAT:



Today, my coworker comes up to me, hands me some of her paperwork, as well as a "phaser" (tablet PC converted to an inventory scanner). In the process, I'd made skin contact with her hand, and got a flash of positive energy that I'd never expected her to possess.



Then, she starts giddily telling me about the news story that she just read, and how happy it made her.



The funny thing is, as soon as she said it was a story she's been following for ten years, I knew what the story was about. I even quoted the media's names for the case. (The Memphis Three, The Memphis Trio)



Again, may I point out that I haven't accessed any news all week? And yet, I knew that the Trio had been released from jail. I knew the headline is attached to mugshots of the Trio.



Essentially, I got an actual memory transference from physical contact with another person. How weird is that?



Oh well, time to get on a news site and "read all about it" for myself. I don't like my news second hand.



No pun intended.

How does one get this unstoppable feeling I've had today?



It started last night, after I got out to enjoy the night air, and after I got over this spell of depression.



Granted, today started off bad, with more bullshit drama landing on my lap, but through the day, I began to develop this feeling of total invulnerability.



At one point, when someone tried to get up in my face over a price dispute, I realized how easy it would be to pick the fool up and throw him.



I don't know who's sending me this positive energy, or where it's coming from, but I greatly appreciate it.



Maybe it came about from when those goofy dog groomers decided to grab me and try to paint my nails. (they only got one...)



Oh well, time to go out and soak up more of this night's energy.

...and my "weekend" will be upon me.



A few things are on my mind right now.



First and foremost, the desire to get out and enjoy the night air. It's cool, comfortable, and almost sweet, like the taste of the steam given off by a shower being fed by heavily calcified pipes. I feel like having my dinner, then taking a walk before I crawl in to bed.



Second, I need a reminder of the warmth of having someone I love in my arms. My last relationship involved an off and on lunatic who always had to be heavily intoxicated in order to be sociable at all. How I lasted so long with her, I'll never figure, as I loathe a person who can't view life without that alcohol or drug induced haze before their eyes. Needless to say, this situation didn't lead to those warm, comfortable moments...



Third, I'm enjoying some rather haunting, beautiful music. My new friend Luna has turned me onto a new sound, called Draconian. Their songs are so raw, yet so mystical, like something one would hear in their best dreams.



So, music, love, and the night. At least I can fulfill two out of three needs, right?



Goodbye for now. I've got some calls that need heeding.

My family has left me incredibly stressed.



I've reached the point where I'm ready to keep my parents, flush the rest down the thunderbox, and start building a "family" of friends to take their place.



Seriously, the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife! (the Ferengi of Star Trek sure know what they are talking about) I have never experienced so much backstabbing all at once.



"They" don't like their brother. "They" do everything they can to see him homeless. (I know it's annoying to have a 45 year old sponge off you and not work, but this is just going too bloody far)



And when "we" step forward to help him get on his feet, all hell breaks loose: petty lies, threats (both to the face and behind the back), more lies.



To top it off, it drives "them" insane not knowing where their brother/son lives, or where he is working. All "they" can do is make their threats, and keep checking apartments and businesses for his vehicle, so they can try to get him fired or (again) evicted.



Oh, "they" would lose their effing minds to learn that his job pays more than any one of theirs. "Skid row", "worthless piece of shit", stacks those Yankee green-backs higher than any of them could ever hope to.



I've never experienced such collected negative energy, not even once-upon-a-time, when I was the little white boy stuck living in the wrong neighborhood. The negativity and stress sent me to work today with a bad, exhaustive case of the shakes.



Thank God for all the little kids I can't stand being around. American parents may let their children act like rabid animals, but I certainly can't deny the fact that their positive energy is contagious in large groups...



Rant complete.

I've always had this strange ability to sense people near me, and usually how many people...



In fact, on a couple occasions, I've walked past one person, and sensed two people present. Later, I'd discovered that they had split/multiple personalities. (I'm just good like this)



But today at work, I encountered a person whom I couldn't sense.



But not only could I not sense him, when I handed him his bag, I'd inadvertently brushed his hand.



And I got nothing. No spark, no bleed over of energy or emotion, nothing. And his hand was cold and clammy, to boot. Felt like cold, soft clay.



How do I explain something like that?



When I walked by him, it felt the same as when I walk past the suit of armor in my house: it's just there, it's just an it.



That lack of... presence greatly troubles me.



Is this someone who is well shielded? Even if so, how does one explain the extremely lifeless feel of one's skin?



Is this truly one of the fabled "undead" I've read about? The so-called "true tales" of those who rise from the grave?



Or did I merely encounter an individual of weak spirit and abnormally low body temperature? I can vouch for this possibility, as one year, I'd spent most of the winter working outdoors, and it actually caused my average body temperature to drop from 98.5f to 93.6f, and it gradually increased over the next year.



Either way, I'm slightly shaken by the possibility that I've seen something I'd hardly believed could actually exist.

Though I thrive on the heat and the sun (as my boss recently stated, I'm embracing my reptilian side) today's change in the weather was a welcome relief.



Being able to enjoy the evening and night air brought me renewed energy. I feel as though my home has become an empty shell or a dead battery, and outside is pure energy.



I guess it doesn't help to be seeing a nearly full moon, either. Right now, even through the overcast, it feels as though I could go out there and burn in its glow.



The crickets, the tree frogs, they all sing to me. They beckon me to dance to their tune.



If only I didn't have to be up early tomorrow morning, to render aid to one relative, to the scorn of another relative.



But hey, family is family, and I'm not picking sides. So my heiny get's to haul out early to help someone move out.



In the mean time, though, I'm pondering whether or not to squelch the air conditioner, open windows, fire up the "wind machine" at the other end of the house, and drift away to the sound of the natural music.



Or as Boston once said: "I close my eyes, and I slip away..."



Damn. Damn the "real" world for forcing me to have a "real" job, without which I wouldn't even have to think twice about such decisions.

Whew, what a day. I am worn out!



No shift is longer and more drug out than the short shift, right? It tires one out, working to reach the end of the day.



But what really tired me out was the random bursts of energy I kept getting from people. And I have to say, there were a lot of happy people at my store today.



First, my day started off operating a veritable petting zoo. And when you're holding a cute little animal that all the kids want to pet, you keep getting bumped in to. Talk about some positive energy!



Then, one has to consider that having NOT had to suffer these abilities for such an extended period of time (every once in a while, I'd do the wrong thing and wind up with an energy transference), you don't spend a lot of time trying NOT to touch another person's hand. (unless you're as insane a germ-a-phobe as Howard Hughs, then you know how to keep your hands to yourself)



But as this has gotten out of control for me, I need to pay closer attention to who I touch while passing them merchandise or cash. Each time I bumped into someone, direct skin contact equals a veritable spark.



Suddenly, I spend ten minutes or so feeling hyperactive, ready to run wild for the duration.



And it's not like I'm looking for it to happen either. As I'd pointed out, the only time I really think about it at work is when one of my friends are having a very bad day, and I wonder if it would work to go over there, hold their hand, and soak up all that negativity.



I don't THINK it would hurt me. I may get pissed off rather easily, but I'm also able to shake things off rather quickly. So why not take someone's sadness as my own, then get over it?



Oh well. I have a lot of strange ideas, don't I? Maybe this ability is a blessing, maybe it's a curse.



But either way, it can equal quite a high when I least expect it.



But now that I've come down from it, it's time for me to go to bed. Tomorrow's shift is going to be a tad shorter than today's. Today was 5 hours, tomorrow is 9...

I work in a pet store, a popular nationwide retail chain.



Sounds safe and simple, right? Help customers, spoil their dogs, play with the inventory animals. What can possibly go wrong?



Some days just seem far worse than others. And I don't mean having to deal with the stupidity of the general public. I mean their pets.



For some reason, on certain days, every animal I encounter avoids me, even attempts to threaten me, in its own little way.



For instance, today, several customer's dogs refused to come anywhere near me. A few even growled and snarled. None but one would even let me buy them off with a treat, and even this one wouldn't touch it unless I slid it across the floor to him.



Our resident cats didn't want anything to do with me, and on any normal day, two out of three are perfectly willing to give me a loving head-butt as soon as I open the cage. NOGGINS!



Two of the ferrets tried to take chunks out of my arm as I cleaned their glass. And these guys are just rare, occasional nippers.



On similar days, I've visited my parent's house, and had all six cats hide from me, including my own (mom wouldn't let me have him) who's ALWAYS ready to welcome you by licking and biting your arm.



What the bloody hell is all this? I haven't noticed any lunar patterns associated with these days. (can't blame the moon) Neither do these days correspond with any pattern of my biorythm. (I've been studying the biorythm theory, and over a course of five months, I've found it to be dead on accurate for 3 out of 4 people--so needless to say, I trust it)



So what are these animals sensing in me?



If one goes back to all the old world legends of vampires, demonic possession, practitioners of "black" arts (black only for the people who fear them), then one might suggest they are sensing the "darkness" within.



But I've not done anything to evoke that darkness.

1) I've never drank blood, though I have periodic cravings (having tasted it from my own wounds, I find the flavor far more than just "appealing")

2) I've never practiced witchcraft (that was actually my mother did that, fifteen years ago) Funny to think that my father, the 7th son of a 7th son, who was also a practicing druid, and my father doesn't even believe in any of what we all know is real...

3) I'm sure that the force that controlled me in my early childhood is long gone (been over twenty years since I've been seen to levitate, speak in languages unstudied, physically fight a being unseen to those around me--but whom certainly showed them its strength as it picked me up and threw me)



And in my defense, the "rage" and temper mentioned in my entry on meditation is actually due to blunt physical trauma. (getting clubbed with a bat at nine years old can leave you pissed off for quite a long time LoLz most of the time, what sets me off is getting bumped in the head--it's like reopening an old wound to add some salt)



All that aside, why is it on certain days, I'm completely incompatible with our four legged friends? What do they know about me that I don't?



Is there something awakening inside me? Despite my best efforts, is my "dark self" trying to make an appearance?



Or as the song said: "Whoooo am I?"

COMMENTS

-

---

ChessMaster
08:58 Aug 05 2011

did you make any change in your laundry soap? Shampoo? body soap? Or even in your food, did you eat something specific those day? As food can create a scent trhough your skin.



just suggesting here.

---

foxglove
15:11 Aug 06 2011

What an interesting phenomenon and I'm certainly curious as to the cause. I agree it may have been something you were wearing. A scent of some sort but I would be interested in other opinions.

---

Jaethen
03:13 Aug 07 2011

Indeed, your ideas sound reasonable enough. As a matter of fact, I did recently change my laundry soap.



As for my shampoo, I haven't used any since I got rid of my beard a couple weeks ago. LoLz

---

POST COMMENT

I am up late tonight.



Midnight may not seem late to most, and even a year ago, would not have been late for my night owl habits.



Today at work, I made the mistake of touching someone's hand. It felt like a spark which shot up my arm and into my core. I suddenly felt energized, yet anxious, like I was excited, wired, adrenalized for some big event which comes only once in a life time.



If only I could have used that to my advantage, but the workplace doesn't offer many opportunities to run rampant, exert power or assert ability. At least, not like a couple weeks ago, when I was achieving acrobatic feats in the warehouse area, retrieving equipment and supplies that no one else could gain access to.



Why, oh why, couldn't our warehouse be heavily congested every week?



It amazes me what I can accomplish, if only I could touch the right person first...





Anyways, tonight is the start of my so called "weekend" at work, and I feel the urge to start it off with a bang.



Right now, regardless of the heat, I have the urge to dig up my long coat, my black boots, and wander the woods all night.



It's been many years since I've taken the time to explore and enjoy the forest which surrounds my little neighborhood.



Now that I think about it, the last time I stepped foot on those trails, was over five years ago, when I still lived under my parent's roof.



I wonder what dear mom would think if she ever learned of these urges I'm having... (she knows about my ability to absorb, but she has no idea what is in my mind because of it)



I want to roam the night, walking the trails, the crickets and tree frogs my soundtrack.



I want to commune with the spirits who no longer see fit to show themselves to me. I guess becoming a paranormal researcher has a way of angering them...



I want to encounter a stranger on the trail, and share some words of wisdom or philosophy with a soul I may never meet again. Strange romanticism, considering that the only stranger I may encounter in these woods would be a poacher, seeking to murder a deer out of season.



I would love to again experience the sensations of flight, that which I have not felt in nearly twenty five years. My family reports that during my childhood, I experienced a three year period of demonic possession--there is little of this period I can remember, though I vividly recall the total weightlessness I felt as I glided around the house, surprising relatives as I coasted down the stairs, around the corner, and finally landing on the couch without ever touching the floor.



I seriously need to sleep this one off. Give up consciousness before the naked mind reasserts itself...

COMMENTS

-

---

madlyn
12:51 Aug 12 2011

Got to love astral projection. So much to encounter.

---

Jaethen
04:50 Aug 13 2011

I wish I knew how, but astral projection was my mother's specialty, not mine. She's the one who knew how to travel to the homes of those who had wronged her, and disturb their rest with her (sometimes very amusing) antics.



Unfortunately, by the time I'd awaken to having abilities of my own, she insisted that she had "repented her ways", and refused to teach me what she knew.

---

POST COMMENT