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I absolutely hate this. I hate arguing. I don't know why but I'd rather just duke it out. Whoever wins wins. That's just the way I am. So when I broke up with my fiance I knew that there would be trouble. There always is from him. He whines more than any girl I've ever met. I loved him once but cheating irks me the wrong way. I'm fighting with him right now. I don't want to I wish it was easier but the only easy way out is to stay with him and I can't do that.

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gszander
20:51 Sep 24 2010

You have a real serious opportunity.

Cheating, once they start, it never ends. I have seen it all to many times. Have a brother and sister thats all they ever did. Get married, start cheating, divorce etc.....

Many best wishes to you.

Peace and Blessings.

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Well last time I wrote I wrote of being afraid to break up with my fiancee because of some things. Well I finally did it! I'm officially single. And I plan to stay that way. At least for a while. I need to focus on other things. Like having a life of some sort. And taking care of my son. So I might just put my love life on the back burner. Or swear off guys altogether. That wouldn't be too hard since I am bi. I'm tired of the lies. I'm tired of jealousy. I want someone who's man or woman enough to feel secure in their relationship with me. I don't need a stalker freak checking out every little thing I do. >

So today is just another day I suppose. I'm finally getting up the nerve to break up with my son's father. I'm scared because he always gets so offensive whenever I broach the subject. But lets face facts you can't fake love. A Scorpio once scorned doesn't forgive or forget a cheater. What made it all the worse was I found out about it on my birthday. Oh don't get me wrong I tried to make it work for my son but it just didn't. As much as I wanted to feel love for him all I ever felt again was mistrust. So tonight I drink alone. Even if I was in the same state as my soon to be ex I wouldn't be drinking with him. I'm a loner by nature at times. Sometimes I think I'm cursed to be ever alone. The freak no one wants or needs. Well not needs my son needs me. I think he's what keeps me going most days. If not for him I don't know what I would have done.

So I just signed up for this site. I figure it has a journal so why not use it. It might be useful to get out some of the thoughts that randomly ping around my head. I suppose I need to vent a little about what goes on in my life. I'm in a family of ten but most of the time I feel like an outsider. Whenever they go to talk they ignore me. I'm usually stuck in the house with nothing to do. Thankfully I went job searching the other day. I'm still filling out apps though. I need to get that done so I'll have some other purpose other than just being with my son all day. Don't get me wrong I love him and think the world of him but he can't have an adult conversation with me at only eleven months old. It's just not possible. Plus I really don't want to talk about things like that with my son. It would just be...awkward. Well when I think of more I'll post.

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Priss
06:36 Sep 15 2010

Welcome to VR...you've got a good start on your journal...I wasn't brave enough to write anything about myself until I was here a couple of years...they say I have trust issues...:D



Good job...;)

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