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Today ended up being simply ONE of what apparently should have been TWO video conference calls - which I don't recall being told anything beyond the first one. But go figure, the whole thing took an interesting turn, simply because someone noticed I appeared to be "falling asleep at the wheel".
The interviewer asks me "How are you doing, over there, mister..." and a LONG pause, before saying my name, of course. So, of course, I had to explain To her and FOR Everyone Else, a small hint of why I go by said name.
Naturally, there were a couple things I left out, but by the time I said only three sentences, I watched several jaws seem to meet the ground.
But the first thing I said was "I'm tired as Hell, but I'm keeping up. And by the way, since you seem to be confused about the name, I go by that, instead of the so-called 'legal' name for several reasons. One of which being that, especially where I've been, it is NOT safe to use your legal name, At All."
And I don't know why, but after I said that, I watched several jaws meet the ground. Somewhere around thirty-ish people in one conference call, and I seemed to be one of the only two who knew/know the ins-and-outs of the whole damn thing. But I'm sure everyone can imagine me having to hold my tongue, and refrain from being a smart-ass.
The first thing I wanted to say was "Why must we be test on something so simple as common sense? I can understand being tested for medical knowledge and such, but common sense? What the Hell happened, here?"
And naturally, anyone who knows My snarky mind can probably guess what expression I had on my face, throughout the whole conference call...
Boy, Today Is Already Taking An Interesting Shape... Almost Literally.
17:34 Sep 25 2023 Times Read: 218
Well, go figure, my agency's management didn't get the memo, last week, when I told them "Can't Do It; Not Doing It; I'm Done."--
These jokers messaged me, just a little bit ago, today, asking if I could take the case an hour away, and we already know I more or less wanted to send them a message inclusive of the annoyed animal face with the eyes and ear twitching. I had to remind them that, as of last Thursday, My Two Week Notice Is Officially Started.
Hopefully, this time, these idiots got the message.
Granted, now, I am trying to get a hold of the other (potential) job, while I also wait for my veteran buddy's agency to show up this week-ish, to see what hoops I have to go through to have him put fully in my care.
Funny enough, I'm really not one bit surprised about today's events, despite there being quite a lot that I'm not going to mention. But given how the day has already gone, I suspect later on is going to be... quite interesting.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On a little side note, however, I would say that I somehow have mostly finished one alternate version of the previously mentioned song, which I'm actually a little bit surprised I did this so quickly, already. But I'm going to be going over it all and making certain it is what I want it to be, as I am not one for simply half-assing anything if I can avoid it.
And yes, when I have said alternate version(s) fully finished, everyone will be notified of a release day/time, as I get across to it.
Yes, we all know it is VW's birthday. Though I've already sent a PM about it, I figured "screw it", here.
Kind of ironic, really. I know, in many cases, while I may not be the most disliked, I'm also not exactly the most popular person here. But finding out it was Girlie's birthday, just like some others, I wanted to wish her the best day possible for it, while I also originally wanted to crack a little joke about it, but somewhat decided against that. Somewhat. Certain as Hell will I not make the joke in a public place, though, mainly because it would probably seem a little inappropriate, unless you actually want to hear it that way.
I just really hope you're taking the day to keep getting the rest you need and the time to enjoy yourself as much as possible, sister.
Much like some of the others, I can still vaguely recall the welcome you originally gave me (among some of the other Admins), when I first found myself on here, and beyond that, I don't think I'll ever forget the hilarity of you welcoming me to join your 'House'. Honestly, something that I certainly have no regret of, despite my old nature of stubbornness and typically being a longtime "Lone Wolf".
Overall, girlie, I really hope you enjoy your birthday, and here is to many more of them. Cheers and Big Props to one of those I personally view as being extremely underappreciated by far too many, VampireWitch39.
I just wish that I could think of an appropriate birthday gift for you, sister. But as we all know, I'm not the most creative mind here, unless we're talking about music and sound.
I finally decided it was time for me to do a more "official" version of one of my earlier songs. In particular, the song "Even In Death".
However, after asking for a little extra opinion, I think I may be doing more than one alternate version of the song; my more Typical style, for one, is kind of obvious. But also something hopefully more melodic - hopefully, more melodic. And the last version would likely be a sad attempt, but I'm going to give it a shot, anyhow... something much more choral. Yes, choral. As in turning it into a full-fledged choir sound, which was what I was originally aiming for, with the first version.
So, we have, here...
Gothic Indie Rock/Metal (the typical style for me, it seems)
More Melodic (Rock)
Choir/Choral
Mind you, since the last time I did anything akin to a choir was... Christ... EONS ago, it seems... I'm really not sure how That will turn out. I know I'll probably be testing my vocal capacities like crazy, but hey.. if I can pull it off, then excellent. If not, then, well... I can say I gave it a shot. Although, knowing me, I'm going to be spending almost an eternity working on just That one, if I really decide to push it. For the most part, I haven't touched anything of that nature in so long, I honestly don't know if I can really pull it off. I know I can drive some people nuts (both good and bad) with it, but I would really hope that it turns out the way I hear it in my head.
I originally wanted it to sound more choral, but that didn't really work out the first time. But I figure, why not bring on some of my earlier stuff, since I want to bring a little more out, while I ponder further stuff with it all, as a whole?
I just really hope no one asks for a video of any kind, for this song, because I suspect that would be a pain in the ass to pull off, in the first place.
You know, one would think that certain field types or agencies would be thrilled to have someone with roughly a decade of experience in ONE field and almost Two decades in something equally relevant. But I seem to forget just how drastically the world has changed from what I once knew.
Here is one for you...
The interview that I thought had gone alright? Well... apparently not. Why? No idea. But I was just notified of this earlier this evening.
My Current Agency? Well, here's a kicker... every agent/associate is given the web-based app to use for checking everything; scheduling, clientele, open times, etcetera. Well, guess who has been completely locked out of his end of that web-app for MONTHS, now? Ah, yes. Yours truly. Which means I cannot so much as log in to check my own file(s), or even to see what MIGHT be going on inside.
Now, I've already made management well aware of this, multiple times, since it first happened, which was MONTHS ago. And yes, that means I have been locked out of my own files with these idiots since roughly January through March. And these people want me to take on a case around an hour away from where I live. For the pay-rate they compensate, that is not even close to being worth the trouble. Not even if you are "reimbursing" me for the mileage, alone. Maybe if you're putting every gallon of gas back in my tanks, sure. But only putting pennies-on-the-dollar back in my pocket, for something I know you should have someone much closer capable? You're out of your fucking mind. I may sometimes enjoy and be insanely good at what I do, on multiple levels, but that doesn't mean I'm going to waste anyone's time or efforts - Least of All, My Own.
All I can say is "Fucker, I would rather work in a convenience store". And that is just one of a few things I won't do again. I do NOT have the temperament for it, At All. If a random someone (or even if I work with them) "shoots" at me with an attitude, I'm going to put them in their place. I don't give a damn if it's the Pope, or someone who could have me executed for "insolence", or even make the attempt at it.
So, I guess, it is now "back to square one" with the job hunting, for now. But I think it's also time for me to put my notice with my current agency, unless they pull their heads out of the clouds (or out of their asses - whichever it may be). Which, they have until Monday to do, or I'm dropping them like a burning bundle of rebar.
I agree, time to move on, they have had long enough to straighten their shit out.
Just Finished With an Extra Special One...
19:25 Sep 19 2023 Times Read: 335
I've just finished up, a little bit ago, with a special second version of one of my songs. Not going to tell anyone what it is, just yet - you'll have to wait until the full release comes - but suffice to say that anyone who may have enjoyed the original... you just might fall over, when you hear the (permanent) new version. All I will say is that when I am fully finished with it, people may well be seeing quite a strong contrast, while still noticing the original "tone" or "signature" of each piece of the entirety of the album work.
Something I find a little funny, in terms of the music, really...
I recently had someone special tell me that I am "always working and never taking a break". But the irony in that is the fact that I pretty much LIVE for music, at this point. It's something that pretty much thrives in my veins. But the same person who said that I am "always working" happens to also be a vast part of the reason for which I actually have not been able to bring myself to do any kind of an "aggressive" song in months. Instead, almost everything on my mind, since, has been an idea for a love song (if that doesn't say something, I don't know what does).
All that being said, however, for the time being, i think it is time for the twisted and sadomasochistic Corvidae to hit the nest of his coffin, for a short time, and get some sleep, since my job interview at least SEEMED to go fairly well, but I won't know for awhile (unfortunately).
Auf Weidersehen, to those who keep up on the journals.
With the All Hallows Eve/Halloween contest now in full swing, even I find myself curious to see what people on here can do. I'm hoping to see plenty of people getting in on it, if nothing else, then "just for the Hell of it".
Typically, I wouldn't have been likely to 'enter' into it, myself. But via popular request, yes; I am in on it, with something of my own. Granted, personally, I have no use for a one-year membership, so I'm not 100% certain about that one, myself. Of course, I really don't expect to end up at the top of it (let alone anywhere near it), but should that happen, I would likely just be passing it to someone else.
All I can really say on that one is that I look forward to seeing what others can do, on their own ends. And honestly, for those who listen to my music (assuming they/you enjoy it), or have read my old poetry works, not only do I look forward to seeing what you can do, but I hope and trust that each of you will put your best foot forward for it, and just remember to let yourself have fun with it.
One should be able to tell that I've temporarily updated my kismet, for it; which, it will be staying so, until the contest is done.
I'm not the biggest fan of most holidays, myself. But All Hallow Eve is and has been for a long time, My Night, My Time. It's the one and only holiday on which I am most apt to just say "To Hell With It" and just unwind all I can.
All this being said, I look forward to and hope to see what people on here can do with their stuff. I'll also be keeping a close eye on things, from my own end, mostly out of curiosity. The only thing that I will say is that I really hope to see everyone's best at it, and I hope everyone has fun while doing it.
Thank you for writing this, showing your support for the contest, and encouraging others to join in the fun!
Felt Like Doing a Little Song Editing, Since I Couldn't Sleep--
14:22 Sep 17 2023 Times Read: 368
Since something decided to drive me awake, this morning, I decided to do some light modification to one of my most recent songs (which I probably should have waited to release it until after I had done said modification, but I don't really care, since I'm trying an unorthodox method with my music). Well, a few songs, really. But just one or two, at this moment.
Funny enough, the song, itself, is called "Echo of Memories". And naturally, it deals with the very thing that keeps my dead ass from sleep most days.
Granted, I'm obviously still not finished with said modification(s) to the song, but once I am, I will be seeing what I can do about re-release, with a little compilation album with a little bit of each of my prior works. And possibly a little added bonus for those most interested in said compilation album.
At the moment, I have a series of five songs coming out, over the course of the next (also five) weeks to come. Unfortunately, someone in Distribution had their head lodged up their ass, yet again, and got some of the release dates swapped, which makes no sense, at all. Specifically speaking, two of them managed to get switched for their release dates, so the FIRST one that will be out is supposed to be the SECOND. How that even happened, I have no idea. But I also have no idea why I had to fight with them about one particular song, which people can expect to hear as of October 13th, let alone how my songs seem to always get corrupted or messed up AFTER uploading them to the distribution service.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
But I suppose, for the moment, I need to figure out what all I plan to do for today, apart from the music editing.
Thinking of Doing an Alternate Verion of One of my Songs...
07:02 Sep 14 2023 Times Read: 390
Over the past few days, among all the other things going on, I've been strongly considering doing some alternate versions of my works. I'm not sure about anything from "Addendum", just yet, but I might come up with an idea for that.
However, over the course of today, I've been thinking about doing an alternate version of "Primal Lullaby", for those who are fans of love/"sexy" songs. I keep finding myself thinking of the different ways I could have done that one, yet I was initially drawn to the much more "tribal" opening. So now, I'm thinking of something just a little deviant from that, while still trying to maintain the rhythm of it, which, at the moment, is kind of... confusing.
But anyway, on this one, I am wanting a little bit of extra opinions to juggle through my head.
Granted, of course, I'm still having a bitch of a time with Google/YouTube, since they won't allow me to do a damn thing with my channel, just yet. But hopefully, I can turn that one around, since they insist on any given channel having a minimum of 500 subs, which... for me, is kind of a pain, because I don't exactly do the best of "promoting" my own stuff.
However, I will say that, at this point, I will be saying "to hell with YT Music", for awhile, until I've gotten my channel to that point. Instead, I'm just going to send my stuff out via Spotify and such, and use my channel for any possible music videos I can put together. Other than that, the only thing that I'll be putting into YouTube's hands will be "shorts" that contain my music, since they want to be dicks about it all. Let us see where That one goes, shall we?
After quite an interesting morning and early afternoon of jumping back and forth between here and about five other things physically present (not to mention nearly quadruple-checking my job search, in which I have another phone interview tomorrow morning, along with another "group" interview I am being asked to attend if I can manage it)...
Methinks it is time for me to close the lid to my coffin for a little bit. Hopefully until sundown, but we'll see.
Been working on a special song of late, which, the other night, I actually made myself a little bit ill while working on it, and it didn't even register with me that I also did the one thing I never do prior to working on my music - ever. And with good reason, do I not do so. I was dumb enough to EAT something, which my body doesn't typically like. Damn metabolism and digestion... but anyway...
Well, like I said before; there is a reason you don't underestimate a "bird" such as myself. I may not by any means be a "family favorite", but no one can deny my stubborn nature. To the one who decided to invite me, I do thank you for the welcome, and even more for not placing what I see as an "unfair advantage" in my lap. I would rather claw my way up, "the fair way". So, again, an extra thank you for that one, sister.
Beyond that... Granted, my "status level" remains fluctuating, as usual. BUT... none can deny that even lasting as long as I have, already, prior to being welcomed to another place, should speak volumes of my determination in things.
Though, as I see it, the stunt was still not the best move, on the part of the "Inductor", in my mind. But this is only somewhat beside the point. My biggest point being that anyone who thinks I will be held back, in any way, unless I fully allow it... certainly has a little bit of a reality check on the way.
I am the same exact way, even on here, that I am in person. Granted, there was a time when I openly made myself known as "the king of smoke and mirrors", but I think That particular statement was highly misunderstood (and I'll get into that concept a little later). Either way it goes, I know that I now possess (to my knowledge) absolutely no "unfair advantage", as I call it, that will allow me to surpass anyone. And that is the way I prefer it to be.
Now, one may call me a "shit starter" for this statement, if they like. I really don't care. But my point stands, that unless I want to be held back, the only thing that can be done, in any way, is slowing me down a notch. And honestly, had anything but the present (or "Hell") transpired, one of two simple things would've happened::
Either...
I would have just "clawed" my way back out, yet again. Or...
People would have been saying "Goodbye" to the EstrangedOne pretty damn quick. Given my stubborn nature, I would have given that scenario about a week.
But again... there is a reason I say "Most birds fly on bright and sunny days... This one flies upon broken skies."
Speaking of which... welcome to one of my songs to come. Then the days for release come, you can certainly expect that I'll be letting everyone know. And for those who lend me a hand in growing the audience, I do greatly thank each one of you.
As for now... I think it is close to that time for this twisted corvidae to lie in the nest of his coffin.
Never let anything or anyone dictate who or how you are; no one controls you but you and I say bravo to that!
A Little Something To Note--
00:05 Sep 08 2023 Times Read: 476
Now, don't get me wrong, here. As I've stated before, I know the "induction" detail is a common/standard happening, here. But particularly at the point where I am, despite my constant "Status" fluctuation, I do have to say this much, now...
Anyone crazy enough to want Me in their "House/Coven" or whatever society would be much wiser to consult me about it, first, and let me think it over, myself. As my kismet states...
~~"Most birds fly on a bright or sunny day... This one flies on broken skies."~~
I don't say that lightly, folks. It may be a pain in the ass that I maintain my status of "Sire" for awhile, but I would rather endure that struggle, without any "society bonus/penalties", simply because I don't "fly with a flock". Honestly, I'm still kind of surprised that those of Sete even wanted me in their midst, since I know I can be a thorn in the side for most. I'm a stubborn-ass, plain and simple.
The last time I was inducted (granted, because I lost the "society bonus"), that crap lasted for about three hours or so. And it didn't take me long to climb again, after I noticed that and said "fuck that".
So, all that hibbit-it-hoopla being said... IF you are one of those crazy enough to want me in your "society" or what have you, then ask it of me, first. If I feel like joining, then I'll let you know. Otherwise, I guarantee, I'll only be that "thorn in your side" before I fly the coop again. Remember; sometimes, you just can't keep a certain animal caged.
Well, there are a few factors that have clearly been overlooked, anyway, sister. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to (as I call it) "Fly The Coop", in either prior case. I may not know "the in's and out's" of the Rave. But given that this place has pretty much been my only real "home" for 10+ years, I would say I've come to know some things quite well. And one of those things happens to be getting around or go through the "obstacles" set in place.
I don't care who it is. I will admit I may be a "crazy" bastard. But I am damn well no idiot, nor moron. So that one just landed somebody on my personal cross-off/shit list. I don't cause anyone BS or trouble without reason, and I expect the same in return.
That being said... have a good day, ladies and gents.
This Corvidae is now returning to the skies, as I have a personal piece to work on, for someone close.
A Little Something **Faintly** New... I think. Brain is Fried, At The Moment.
17:50 Sep 07 2023 Times Read: 488
It took me awhile to upload this one, with my job hunt going on, but I did this, actually, sometime, last week. I just can't remember exactly when. For those who have a listen, feel free to let me know your thoughts on my channel. Still trying to get my channel up a little further, since apparently, YouTube/Google want(s) to be a bunch of brainless twits and jack-wagons about having my music sent straight to my channel, in the first place.
After A Little Extra Tinkering... And Some Extra Pondering...
11:21 Sep 06 2023 Times Read: 512
Yes, I clearly still have a lot of trouble with the damn CSS and HTML horse shit. But at least, now, I have a somewhat suiting background set up. Interesting enough, the upload ended up screwy, as always, and yet... I am oddly satisfied with the way that turned out. Honestly, I'm still highly iffy about the idea of even trying to add any "bells & whistles", like others have. I've never really been into that one, actually.
I still find it highly ironic, however, that, while I can't do CSS or HTML to save my life (let alone my non-existent soul), I can still do the #1 thing more complicated and twisted than both things together... put any computer in my hands, and it doesn't even matter if it's outdated and expired. I can still turn it into an obscure and insane "powerhouse" of a machine, just with my own programming (yet I don't really bother with it). I can just fathom what my current machine would do if I pulled that stunt, but I really don't feel like finding out, since I put my days of programming behind me (mainly because it almost got me put behind bars for the next two or more lifetimes). Kind of makes me wonder, as others seem to, what the Hell I do with myself and all the absurd shit in my cranium.
Everyone else:: "Guy, you could be a high-dollar programming GURU."
Me:: "And what would I accomplish in that, besides a life I don't really give a shit about? Just because I can program a tac-nuke doesn't mean that I WANT to."
Oh, well. At least I now have a more suiting profile background set, which I've been trying to accomplish that for awhile, now.
Although, quite trivial, as it is. But I also find myself much more interested in maintaining my pursuit of the very few things I'm really still after.
Most birds fly on a clear and/or sunny sky. I'm the bird that flies on broken skies, while the storm is raging.
I don't really know what happened to it, but somehow, my last journal entry got erased. But anyhow, the thought that I had put out there was something like this...
Yes, I know "induction" is the standard commonality/practice, here. But I can't help questioning why someone would be 'nutty' enough to induct a profile/someone who is or was already so close to being "full sire". Granted, yes, I departed Sete a little prematurely. But honestly, right now, I kind of prefer not having that "affiliation status". So, again, it kind of makes me wonder what would bring anyone to be 'nutty' or crazy enough to go there, when (aft of my departing Sete) I was already so damn close to reaching that level, at last, after ten-plus years. But I also find it comical, to say the least, because I thought it was a common knowledge that I've always been the stubborn one.
I was trying to figure out what would've caused my last entry about it to be erased, but of course, I'm not going to drive myself crazy about it. Honestly, I just look forward to "grinding away", until I'm more than assured of its... cemented state. Beyond that, really, the only thing(s) that I can or will say are that there is a reason for which I often say most birds fly on clear and/or sunny days... This one flies on broken skies.
But lastly... granted, I know the likelihood is slim, at best. But IF someone is crazy enough to want me in their midst, then try bringing it up to me, before making a silly move that will only last a few hours, at best (and as I say That Last Bit... I actually find myself kind of laughing a little bit).
Anyhow... for now, it is back to my music and "carving the way" through some more pages. I don't think I'll really be satisfied until I've cleared the Database, as it is. OCD is kind of funny like that.
I max out on my rating % but moved onto the sci fi database for fun.
YT Audio of "Sensation of Dissonance"
00:43 Sep 02 2023 Times Read: 566
I had to wait a little bit before putting the YouTube audio up. Go figure, they're still giving me relentless crap about my actual channel, which doesn't even make sense.
I did this one during the July heatwaves and storms that decided to 'blister' all over the place. I wrote it while dealing with some of my own demons, and couldn't help also thinking about those others dealing with theirs.
For any of you on here, the Rave, who have been dealing with your demons and "personal Hell", as I call it; remember this little factor-- You don't and shouldn't ever have to fight your 'demons' alone. When nothing in life seems to make sense, that is often when there is something stands out, waiting for you to open your own eyes.
And yes; I know I do, myself, need to keep my own words in mind, especially knowing how frequently I deal with my demons. There are only one or two things that always push me to keep going, myself; one of which remains that no matter what I've been through or endure, myself, I seem incapable of just "giving up" and letting go. The other is a factor/detail that I won't get into, on here, for multiple reasons.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For those of you who decide to give this a listen... if you find that it resonates with you in any way, and/or you know someone else dealing with something in their life, then hopefully, you show it to them and it has a similar meaning.
I still remain having to fight with YouTube about putting my music on my own channel, so that's why there is currently only the Spotify link(s) in place, here. YouTube/Google seem awfully determined to "play games" with the independents such as myself, though, why, I still have no goddamn clue. You can also find the song via searching it on YouTube, though it won't direct to my channel (not that I am aware of, anyway).
COMMENTS
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Vodka
00:02 Sep 29 2023
You....snarky...never.....