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'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips

Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.

Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care

In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.



While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps

Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.

When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.



Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,

Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.

The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow

Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.



When what to my wandering eyes should appear

A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!

That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick

I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.



The sweet-coated santa, those sugared reindeer

I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;

On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS

A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.



From the top of the scales to the top of the hall

Now dash away pounds now dash away all.

Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress

My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.



My droll little mouth and my round little belly,

They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

I spoke not a word but went straight to my work

Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.



And laying a finger beside my heartburn

Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.

I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry--

If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.



And I mumbled again as I turned for the night

In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!

Ten Signs You're Sick of the Holidays



10. You've got red and green bags under your eyes.



9. You're serving reindeer pot pie.



8. When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?," you scream, "NO, DAMMIT! I'M NOT LISTENING!!! "



7. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers in the ass with your BB gun.



6. You think you hear your Christmas tree taunting you.



5. Instead of spending time with family, you're watching some guy make photocopies.



4. You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but mistletoe.



3. You've got eggnog coming out of your ears.



2. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard!"



1. Two words: tinsel rash.





I want it all & I want it delivered by cute, naked men!

You know no matter how hard you try...some people will NOT let you be nice to them without wanting more than you can possibly give. No meeting you half way even if you are bending the rules and bending over backwards to help.

No appreciation for putting you in a tough spot for them. Certainly NO RESPONSIBILITY for their actions in putting themselves in the tough spot in the first place. Sigh......



AH......but see.....she went over my head....I try to be nice....my boss....well....she got my back. I no longer have to be so nice....trust me......not good to piss off the Boss...(right VW39?)

You snuggle up and just sleep a little. I will watch you, I promise.



That path is not one I will let you go down again.



Hugs and loves



Kay





Now THAT is a true friend. Thank you for being mine.

Quote: Having Sex is like playing Bridge: If you dont have a good Partner, you need a good hand..

I think my ear has a permanent imprint of a phone. My Mom calls it "cauliflour ear". I mean I had two phones going at the same time on 4 different occasions........at HOME. I think if someone had a problem tonight....I heard about it. I mean GEEZ....

Had a rough day with students today. Had tried to get a student to drop the class at midterm but NOOOOOOOO. Now it is 3 weeks away from the end of the term and she has an F.....and a major illness probably. I offer an incomplete...and get talked mean to and she walks out. You try to be nice....and see what happens. Can't help being nice....it is who I am and what I do as a social worker....try to help. But dang....sometimes they bite you instead.



Trust me ......when the bite is unexpected and unwanted....it hurts.





THEN, the supervisor of a different student calls. The student has not showed up all week in placement. ARGGGGGG.



Dang Students!!

One whole day......all alone. I didn't have to go anywhere or have anyone over. I didn't have to get dressed or speak and be nice to people. I didn't have to be tactful or make decisions harder than what to eat and what to watch on tv. The phone only rang once and I only called one person...both calls less than 10 minutes long. Yup....loved the day. ALLL ALONE!!!!

You know...I hardly ever cuss and I have to be really teed off to say the F word. But I gotta say....with all the folks VISITING my profile and NOT rating......I am starting to get TEED.



It could be that they find my profile beneath a rating....well....ok......TELL me, I can change it. I DID change it...for Samhain....and WILL change it again as soon as I have the time.



In the mean time...rate, stomp, yell, applaud...do SOMETHING.... besides just gawk at it!



OK......rant over ......for now.

The faster I run the more behind I get.



It grows and spreads and covers everything.



Run Run RUN......

It's another Sunday evening. I just got back from the weekend at my boyfriend's in TN. The last year and a half has been an amazing journey....see, I never really dated anyone for more than 3-4 months before. I am a big gal who knew guys liked skinny gals so I focused on my education and career. Diets didnt seem to work and I never thought guys would like a big gal. But at the ripe old age of.....well....middle age.....I decided what the hell. I found some information about guys who LIKED their women big........imagine that. So....an ad or two later...and I had met a few guys......nothing special and nothing for very long.



Then.....well...it wasnt that special an evening, at least I didn't think so at first. Just two people meeting on a blind date, for dinner, conversation even a kiss or two. Then I sent him on his way. The next day...a dozen roses in mixed colors...."...becuase I didnt know what your favorite color was...." and I was impressed and swept....it had never happened before.....Big gal with no previous boyfriends remember. So for a long time I questioned it. I took it VERY VERY slowly. But dang if he didnt grow on me. And the words he uses to talk to me...Hey gorgeous, Hi Baby, hey beautiful....I came to believe him....I just might be those things to him. And that....makes me a big, gorgeous, beautiful woman ...with a very special guy.