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CrackInTheWall's Journal


CrackInTheWall's Journal

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25 entries this month
 

23:12 Mar 30 2014
Times Read: 796


SO EXCITED!!!!



I think I mentioned the refurbished steam cleaner I bought before mom left... well it is the cat's meow! OMG LOVE it. Seriously it is a dream, easy to work (light weight), easy to clean after and it works so great! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Best part is we paid $48 for it, instead of normal price of 100. Only has a 90 day warranty, but I'm good with that. Plus it is light weight.



Also had a great conversation with another clinic owner, and it was good to talk about the whole situation without feeling like I was blaming someone- or being a victim; just this is what happened, this is what I'm dealing with- let's come up with game plan- GO! While I think I might end up using the person just as a spring board, that is ok, as they have a thriving Community Acupuncture Clinic that has 23 chairs, and 4 employed Acupuncturists, reception and office manager... Yeah, that's what I want to do too.



YAY! Ok, off to finish the carpets in the guest room, a touch more cleaning and then more "hooking" (crochet)



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00:17 Mar 29 2014
Times Read: 804


So. Financing has NOT gone through, but we've come up with alternative plan xyz. That means I can "close" the deal with the owner and get this all in my name and start trying to help it grow.



I have also unpacked 1/2 of my sewing room. Right now there are only 11 boxes left and then my bins. My plan right now is to oranginze what is out already and then finish with the last of the boxes. Here on out it will go slower as some of these are boxes of papers that I have to go through.



Some I can simply burn. But then once they are done... well. I will "officially" be done with organizing my "life" and well, it's daunting and exciting at the same time. I'm also doing crafts tonight. I'm making an Easter wreath for my front door and making one for my cousin's birthday which is the 12th of this month.



Ok time to craft the night away!


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19:30 Mar 27 2014
Times Read: 810


I was reminded when I was at lunch with my cousin that exactly one year ago, everything started to move towards what is happening today. Ironic? Relief that it is solidifying and moving forward now?



Over all the feeling is, nope- I'm just ready. I've had so many things holding me back, and now that the last hurdle is being finished, let's get on with it.



It is time.


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15:22 Mar 27 2014
Times Read: 811


And there it is, the difficulty. I knew it was there, now it's time to get this mess taken care of.


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15:19 Mar 26 2014
Times Read: 818


It's interesting to see what I've written over the past few months, simply because I'm so deeply internalized with everything that has been going on. Perhaps it is the speed at which this all is changing, or just the personal implications, rather conclusions I can't help but draw.



When I went to Canada seven years ago, I was drawn. As in, it felt like I was going to die if I didn't get there yesterday. This pull was something some would view as "destiny" calling. I was damaged and I didn't really know why I was called but I knew it was happening.



Once I got there, significant things started to happen; work was a disaster, my living situation wasn't horrid, but the person I lived with had some real issues that did not mesh with my own issues. I met Garry.



I couldn't explain then, but I felt I was needed there, that I was doing something even if I didn't understand. More importantly even though things were not what they were "supposed to be". Ever go some place and realize that it's like a bad version of a movie, but you can't explain why it's the bad version? Yeah, that was the past seven years.



Once Garry died, I didn't feel that draw to the area anymore. It was simply gone. But I didn't know where else to go, and I had invested so much of myself into creating a life I wanted. So, nose to grind stone, make it work. Still a small nagging feeling was happening that I would move.



I started looking at things in Kansas. Don't get me wrong I don't "hate" Kansas, but this is not exactly in line with my political, spiritual or frankly how I like to live. But it has less of winter. More importantly, I know my Mother will come here for extended periods, and that I can buy a house and start building equity (which when you're self- employed means retirement).



See Mom's in her late 60's. She hasn't taken care of herself very well (typical nurse, cares for everyone else, except herself). Now with me here, she's already come out for two weeks, and chances are the next visit will be for a month. Bets are already placed for when she "moves" here. Seriously, my closest friends and I agree- this is where she will end up.



Which brings me to two points. 1. feeling used, that my life to date has mostly centred around caring for others. 2. blessed that in this, I still am my own person with my own outlook and way of doing things. Many people are not as fortunate as they can't transfer their skills as easily, or they simply can't up and move and have it come into place.



I'm not one to be a victim, but there is a frustration in any manner that I look at the situation. However one other good thing, is it puts me closer to getting a condo in NOLA. The more I think about things, the more I realize most likely Louisiana may be my next stop. And if it isn't I'll be looking a vacation space there. Yeah, I'm getting away from the cold. As much as I love winter, I'm really getting to a space where I'd rather visit it, than live in it.


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02:06 Mar 26 2014
Times Read: 827


So my room is completely done. FINALLY. Now I just have the sewing room and all my papers. It's a good feeling, but still a bit overwhelmed.



Hopeful, but remembering to take it one step at a time.



I also got a hold of my friend who has the clothing I had to leave behind. We set up a bit of a game plan, and well- I'm looking forward to the potential of her visiting :)



It was a nice surprise to hear that. Kay, Torchwood and crochet time, nini!


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18:03 Mar 25 2014
Times Read: 833


It's a slow week in the clinic, I think it might be because school is starting (end of March break- and testing has begun). So I have to finish importing my car (need to print off and then fax a form to Service Ontario) and then wait. Once my new insurance company gets my 5 year abstract, I'll be able to have insurance here and get plates on my car. What a fiasco getting all of this done. I started Feb 10th and STILL am waiting for pieces.



Part of the issue are the things I forgot (like ordering the abstract) in the bustle of trying to get everything done and get here. Still no word on my passport. Seems like I will be calling the State Department about this.



Today is about finishing organizing my room- just a pile of clothes and shoes and the it is finished. Then some work on my sewing/guest room. I'm trying not to do too much as frankly I'm looking at buying a house by the end of the year. Housing costs are so low here, and frankly I'd rather live in a shack that needs work- (granted that it's work I'm able to do- which is a lot- but not foundational) and make it into what I want; and gain equity. Where I'm living I'm paying the equivalent of a 150,000 home, and I need bigger (let's face it, now that I'm here, Mom is going to be staying with me a lot). So much, that I'm looking into buying a new car also. Why? Because she will need a car when she's here, and the car I have now used to be hers. So. Room for Mom, vehicle for Mom- and then I'm set.



Can't put the cart before the horse, still have to keep on those small steps. And they are coming along, it's just meh. So organizing more, mostly so I can find things misplaced in the move; and then finalizing how I'm setting up until the full plan becomes known (after all plans can change in a blink- it's about going with the flow).



Planning, dreaming aside; I'm sorely missing my friends. However, this is where I have to be, so...


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21:07 Mar 20 2014
Times Read: 845


Maybe it's time to get rid of netflix in favour of Hulu.... Loving that I can get things sooner... but the jury is still out.


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17:25 Mar 20 2014
Times Read: 847


Today is a day to do some work on some 1. fun things

2. more of getting everything back to where I'm living 3. business and finally 4. stuff for me (laundry).



I also need to start working on my exercise, so it's bikey bike kinda day for me today.



Wishing you all a bouncy first day of spring!


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02:44 Mar 19 2014
Times Read: 851


The rowing world has lost one of the greats. I did not know him well, only a few times in my development did we cross paths. Although my former coach (who passed from cancer a few years ago) did take him to Hooters whenever he could *no, I'm not joking* :)



Still his wife still faces cancer, and in November his athletes did a fundraiser to help him pay for being hospitalized. I can't express how wrong that is. That someone dedicated to something we "worship" is left to have his athletes try to pay for expenses of illness.



Cancer, you're a real Jerry Springer bitch.



http://chronicle.augusta.com/latest-news/2014-03-18/rowing-coach-local-ties-passes-away?v=1395150041



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03:56 Mar 18 2014
Times Read: 888


Ever wonder why someone keeps looking at your profile (from viewing the last 10)? I did.



Then I remembered, "Oh I can see this on my dash board". That's nice. I see the 1 you left me, now that I've given you public notice you can go on your way; as really you're not the first, and I'm certain you won't be the last. *yawn*



Oh, did I mention Trader Joes Ace Pear cider- da bomb. Love it. And with that, I should add I saw 24 patients today (53 just with Sat and today, WOOT!). So it's nini time. Tomorrow I work on importing the car back into the US, ideally getting my Kansas driver's licence and transferring my insurance to the US as well. Full day, of lots of driving, and "hurry up and wait".





Happy St. Patrick's day, CHEERS!


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02:03 Mar 18 2014
Times Read: 896


Was warned that today would have difficulty driving and parking at clinic, so I rode my bike. It takes the same amount of time to ride, as it does in the car when I hit every red light. K if weather's nice, I'm riding from now on.



Only down side? I'm in the "hilly" part of Kansas... boy there are so motherfucking hills. But that's also good... since I do want to loose the flab. ;)


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Oil pulling

15:40 Mar 17 2014
Times Read: 918


I've been doing it about a week, and love it.



Really, I was sceptical about it all; but figured instead of doing the whitening chemical system that I hate using (teeth feel "stripped" and not in a good way after it) and reading about how oil pulling helps to whiten teeth and reduce bacteria... ok, I have organic coconut oil (thanks to Trader Joes) sitting around... let's see.



It is recommended to do 1tsp (coconut oil is solid when you start- but your body temp will melt it) and then simply swish, and pull through your teeth for 20 minutes.



Ok, simple enough.



1. DO NOT USE 1 TSP.



I use 1/4 tsp as it seems to expand during swishing. But otherwise, this doesn't lead to the OMG GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH that my whitening system does. Plus, I'm noticing some of my significant stains already starting to fade.



Sold.



So I swish each night, and then spit it into the trash (no drains, as coconut oil will solidify and that equals ICK, er, clogged drain). You can also do olive oil or another "edible" natural oil, but the fats in coconut oil are better for teeth and gums... and frankly I like that nutty taste. If allergic, then I would say cold pressed organic olive oil is your best bet.



After that occasionally I will brush after, or before, but my mouth isn't death incarnate in the morning and after flossing, my teeth no longer feel like they "wiggle"



Bonus: a science geek friend pulled an abstract of oil pulling vs. mouthwash- both work to get bacteria out of your mouth. Mouthwash is faster- hence why you don't swish it for 20 min. But I'm all for doing things naturally as much as possible, and because of the other aspects, I actually really enjoy this. So no more mouthwash for me... let's oil pull!


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21:01 Mar 16 2014
Times Read: 923


I have a case of... spring. A big case of it :P


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23:52 Mar 14 2014
Times Read: 949


It's a rum kinda night (did you know Trader Joes has an excellent rum!?) All of the realities are hitting pretty hard.



And I really just wish I were *Home* but reality is this is my new home. So rum tonight, how I met your mother... and now... Weenie time!


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19:09 Mar 13 2014
Times Read: 965


SWEET! It looks like I can transfer the phone to a Magic Jack which means $150 and then we have 5 years of phone paid for! WoOt! One bill lowered, and a gazillion left to look at.


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This angers me.

16:15 Mar 13 2014
Times Read: 982


Many of you know that I cut off about 15-17" of hair recently- specifically so I could donate it to Locks of Love, or Pantene Beautiful Lengths.



But after reading THIS article I am so very glad that at the last minute I changed my donation to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.



The reason being, Garry had lost his mother to breast cancer, I lost Marie, and my dear friend Martha is just a year out of treatment for it. Now in reading that LOL has been selling the hair and not even supplying wigs, disgusts me. That doesn't even go into that they imply the wigs go to kids with cancer, and they don't. Truthfully a child with alopecia is just as deserving as a child with cancer. But those numbers don't lie, and frankly I would rather my hair be used or sold to supply wigs- which is just what the Pantene program does.



It's a sad state of the world that you have to do research on donations and who is using them, and those that are wasting them. That was one of the main reasons for the Poker Run, it allowed us to make certain the monies raised went to the patients, not the organizations.



So DO donate you hair, just make certain it is to a charity that USES your hair for the reason you are donating it.


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Oh I bet you do this too...

02:11 Mar 11 2014
Times Read: 1,015


Have you ever read a journal entry and simply thought: "You know, your life would be so much happier if you simply had a gigantic poop". Yup, me too. All the time.


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17:00 Mar 10 2014
Times Read: 1,028


I have officially gone up 2 sizes. Which is why I pretty much feel like crap. Well, now that I'm almost settled, I'm looking into how I'm going to loose it.



My cousin signed up for yoga at the community center- $30!!! I'm also looking into the hot yoga here, simply because it is one of my favourite things to do. If it's too much cash right now, then I will do the standard yoga; and with the weather having turned, I can get back into biking. Plus my cousin wants to start walking- so a few days a week we might meet near the river and do that.



I just need to move. Like yesterday. All this "stuff" with no exercise makes me irritable and down right bitchy. Which is why I view exercise not as a maybe, but a must for me.


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16:20 Mar 10 2014
Times Read: 1,029


Cousins. Cousins EVERYWHERE.



Wow. It was a great gathering, around 20 people came out- and there were several that didn't show. o.O



It's a strange sensation going from a family that had just grandparents, mother and brother - to suddenly being part of a tribe. And I mean Village really. They have all sorts of groupings amongst themselves, but in the end we're all family.



Time to make certain not to say anything I don't mean... It will spread like wild fire here.


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16:17 Mar 08 2014
Times Read: 1,047


I keep trying to take my hair down... opsy! However, the hair is now dry and packaged for locks of love.



Side note: I was talking to a friend how a great way to raise awareness for this program would be to have the Winchester boys (Supernatural y'all) fight a ghost that won't go... only to find that they can't kill the ghost until they find all the wigs made from hair they donated :P



I was amused at that idea. Ok, back to worky work day. Having 10+ cousins over tomorrow, so I won't be here much- have to clean house.


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16:12 Mar 07 2014
Times Read: 1,056


SQUEEE! well, cause... ya know.... SQUEEE!!!!


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01:29 Mar 07 2014
Times Read: 1,061


GAH. Everything seems to be taking 2x as long... but that isn't the case, there simply is too much to do.



Sorry - this will take some time... *sigh*


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Go home winter, you're drunk.

18:45 Mar 02 2014
Times Read: 1,078


It's funny how discussing a potential issue, and coming up with potential "solutions" (to something that may not even exist), eases you mind.



Not that I think anything "bad" is going to happen, but I do think that there are still many challenges in general to face (aren't there always?) Part of what I'm looking at is trying to approach it with grace. Which when you want to scream and yell, can be the most daunting task.


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01:33 Mar 01 2014
Times Read: 941


Fireball time with Mama ;)


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