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Third time today- damn it. Some serious conversations are going to happen tomorrow. I'm not nauseated like yesterday, this is purely from lack of bm. It needs to be fixed yesterday.

I'm holding down sorbet barely. This helps with my medications, most of which are formy bowels again. If I would poop, I can tell I would feel better. Hopefully tonight.



I owe so much gratitude I can't even speak it. From those working to keep the clinic going, to neighbors who walk the dogs when I'm this horrid. While im still in ick, I'm hopeful I will get a bounce back week- because I will. Pre- determined by me. So there.



Nanna Nanna pfffth

There is nothing worse than vomiting on an empty stomach, while trying to brush your teeth. Tomorrow last chemo this round.

I finally ate a little something. Four more- I can do this. But damn if it doesn't feel like dying.

Such a bad day. I'm really struggling- but it's nice to have my brother here and be able to just be. Nurse fucked up again- too sick to write about it now... Perhaps tomorrow.

Second day of chemo done and I'm done. Bro is here from Seattle YAY but I'm starting to feel bad already. One more tx next week and Iv fluids today/sat and then break with four more cycles.



Tomorrow we goto the vet, and I might have to put Spazz down it breaks my heart but she's 19 in a two weeks, so she's had a good run... But just, damn.



I will make it. Now to sleep

Operation Cherry Danish.



Status: devoured.

Last night, aside from the strange dream I wore two patches of bald on my head. Really it's been interesting watching my hair fall out, and I'm kinda glad it's taken four days to start getting the bald patches. But now- I want it shaved. I go in tomorrow for that.

I had the worst nightmare. Images, my old roomie Richard, and I were "Fred Flinstoning" a Land Rover because some thug beat up a child and a waitress.



It was that weird, and irrational. No we didn't get away, I woke up.

I finished my laundry and put it all away! All my summer clothes are out and my winter ones are stored! Yeah! Plus I saw 28 patients today- hell yeah :D



Tomorrow I get a massage, and then Monday I have my last day of work... Pat comes thurs- let's DO THIS!

So tired today. Zzzzzzzz

I paid some friends to come clean the house today- YAYYYYYYYY first time since the fall my place has properly been cleaned. And it's so feakin awesome. I knew it was wearing on me- but didn't realize how much. I also started prepimg the guest room for my brothers stay.



Over the summer I hope to organize my sewing supplies and make it a functional room again. Perhaps I'll make myself some hats now that I starting to have the thinning hair. I know I like the bows I've done.



Today I got an overwhelming gift in the mail. It made me cry. As in bawling. I know I can never repay what's been given- and that in many ways it's not about that- but I will keep paying it forward as I'm able to. There is a lot of good I can do, and this is a key aspect of realizing the touch that I've already had, even though it feels like I've done so little. Time to grow into those shoes...

And my hair is beginning to fall out *sigh*

I was very tired today. In reality it's because I did overdo it yesterday. Still after my chiro app I went home and took a nap. Today was another busy day at work- 27 patients, which puts me at 81 patients in three shifts. I love what I do, and I'm so grateful that I have these few days to really feel normal.



I think this week will be the key to each cycle.



One week.

Second poop today with no Rx for that... Now I'm feeling like an over achiever. ;)

Results from cycle one are in. I'm not immuno-compromised, although white blood cells are lower. I'm needing iron this week. Good news- I was sent home without treatment because my numbers were so good, that I didn't need the fluids.



They also gave me a new article published this month that shows an almost 70% survival rate of patients over TEN years with the type of chemo I chose. This is way more significant than the 70% survival of five years.



So now it's about repeating all of this five more times.



My talk today went well- met with a local administrator for the local hospital, and discussed informing local cancer patients about our clinic as acupuncture is considered standard protocol (per the pharmacist today) for chemo patients (they have better blood cell counts and less nausea).



I feel like today was one of those win all around days.

Hopefully I nap before work, but I'm feeling more of my old energy level back...

Fast 7 was today, followed by lots of couch time. I've also lost too much weight. This week is all about high caloric foods to prep for next weeks start of round two. Just five more rounds of three weeks.



I hope I can keep it more together this round, as my brother will be here.



Still waiting for the airline to open booking for the first week of November. But perhaps after my lecture, I will start work on my outfit for the ball.



I like that idea...

Great day. Worked the full shift and had 22 patients. I'm so grateful for this week off. I have a talk on Tues at the library for the local university department, so tomorrow I will write that all up and prepare handouts.



I'm looking forward to this :)

First day at work, since chemo. Wish me luck.

So I did nothing today. Damn fatigue

So much better today. I think the chiro/Acu right after chemo is winning combo. I'm doing a form of chiro that is called NSA (network spinal analysis) which is basically pressure points and breath work. It has made a huge difference in my breathing just in the four visits I've had, as post surgically everything seized up.



Now that I'm in my week off, I have a lot to try to get ready for with this next round- plus work. This is where I wish I were not alone, because an extra set of hands would be most helpful. I do have two ladies from the clinic coming to help me clean next thurs. Hopefully we can make a dent so that when my bother comes his room is cleaned and ready for him.



I'm still not jiving with food. It's terrible because I'm ravenous, but once I start eating- it's nope. Lots of smoothies with protein powder. I'm even not wanting candy now (thank god because I don't like it that much normally). It's hard, veggies I love- but they simply don't meet the caloric needs right now. It's a real pisser all around.



I have a talk I'm writing up today, and then I will go see fast 7. Granted I'm making myself walk to the theatre. Small steps forward and out of the chemical haze.

I'm trapped in bed with two purring pussy's, one on each shoulder.

My colon is now completely cleaned out. Which means I'm starving. I'll be making an omelette this am- I haven't had one in a long time.



I didn't sleep the greatest last night so I'm hoping for a nap.



One thing that is going to happen, is a ticket to NOLA for Halloween. I need something to make me look past all this and to look forward to. Because I'm looking so early, tickets are very cheap. Plus- Vampire Ball. It's been on the to do list for years. This year it will happen.



Thankfully I have friends who helped with the bills now that said, something not related to bills and fun. I've messaged them with this idea- and on approval will go ahead.



It's hard talking about beyond the now, but I think it's needed. Plus, with everything I will still be pulling in some funds- I am still working, just not enough to support myself- the big issue is if I'm going to get hit with massive DNA testing fee (it's often not covered by insurance). The doctors send samples of your cancer to be profiled so they can alter- change your medications based off of the actual type of cancer you have. Plus it helps with monitoring if it is coming back. If not covered, it's a 5k test - yikes!



I'm looking forward to work this week. I've been so tired and sick last week, that a little normalcy will help as well.

I still need to poop. But I went to the family Easter gathering (my cousin drove me) and had a good time. Because of the no poop issue I had to lay down after eating (when you're full- it's gotta have a place to go- which I'm hoping happens soon). This was good because I actually have done some laundry, in addition to actually making my bed-



Yay clean sheets!



And clean clothes for tomorrow as the abdominal chemo makes me have a huge belly. Over all I'm feeling like I will feel better- I'm approaching this round different with the nausea meds- and sticking to the ones that don't cause constipation.



Here is to having the greatest shit!

It's been a rough first week. I seriously already wonder how I'll get through this. It is hard enough to go through this, but I'm entirely on my own. Don't get me wrong, I have cousins who bring me to my appointments and food when able. But home- it's just me and the animals. There is so much cleaning I normally do, that I physically can't right now.



Add the stress that they have found three types of cancer in my mothers Breast- she won't be out to help again until her treatment is done. It's demoralizing to have so much- but I keep doing what little bits I can- and pray they are enough.



Tomorrow will be better.

I feel so betrayed by my body right now I can't describe it. It's amazing how much pooping can regulate how we feel. More so with the side effects of chemo.



I need to find someone to bring me food. I need soup, but don't feel well enough to get it

I think Spazz might be dying. It's been a good go, and I have some tricks, but we are getting close.



Damn.

I did my 3x10 10lb kettle ball swings today. Still feel like utter crap. Can't focus and just bleh. I have eaten, so that's something. Def early bed as I'm just exhausted

Great energy today, but I feel like I want to vomit. So I'm watching Lone Ranger with puppies on my lap. 1/2 way through this first part. After this round, five more left.

Off to a very shaky start today. Not neasea but almost- that sense of just ick feeling. The wicked hot flashes are at least a little less intense today. I'm eating fine and looking forward to a hot shower later- and lots of naps.



Thankfully IV today- and acupuncture treatment this afternoon, and tomorrow...



The hardest part of doing this is knowing I'm doing it purposefully.



I also start with my kettle ball work outs today. 3x 10 swings each arm with minor squat at 5lbs.



Tomorrow 3x10 lunges alternating the side of the weight every five lunges. Friday Iv treatment again and planned walk with my cousin.

Plus tons of naps. It's going to be a challenge increasing working out and gaining muscle mass with hurting my body at the same time- it's a lot like training for sports- find the balance.

Amazing. 372 shares as we go into April 1st.



Now the challenge for pranks today- start with love and end with laughter.

15 days of the fundraiser and 364 shares. Yes there has been a great portion of the asked amount raised- but it's how many have shared, messaged and held me in their thoughts.



Home and so far my side effects are burping, wicked hot flashes, fatigue, and discomfort. I'll take it! Reality is I still have to wait three more days to see if anything else shows up. Now there has been nausea, but not enough to keep me from eating or getting ill.



I'm using essential oil of ginger one drop on my chest as needed and ginger ale.



Tomorrow is IV of saline to keep me hydrated, and again in Friday. Last chemo this round is Monday and another Iv a week from Monday's chemo to my week off. I have all of my scheduled chemo rides booked- so now it's the wait and see what I can work. So far I should be just fine for the schedule I had hoped for- and I might even be able to add one day to the heavy week.



Thank you all so much for your positivity here- it simply adds to it all. I even had one donation were I must give photographic evidence that I'm doing something they would approve of. So I'm using that for a tattoo- I was told that was rad. That made me happy. And now they can say, "I marked that bitch for life".... Heh :)