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Whatever I whine about here- I don’t want to be “known” for those things.
Who I am as a whole is vast and varied. I do not ever in a million years want to be synonymous or defined with my gender, sexuality, politics, or disabilities. I want to be so eclectic that I am interesting enough for people to not hone in on one thing and that thing be “who I am”.
For the record: I am a cis female, straight (I did explore in my younger days, and I learned this for sure), I am politically Independent believing strongly in science and human rights, and like millions of people on the planet- I suffer with some mental and physical health challenges. None of these are things I want people to highlight solely when they think of me.
Today, my depression is in check. My anxiety is a work in progress. My chronic pain in en route to management. I am not special at all with those health issues.
If I were to be known for anything- I would like it to be my interests and endeavors with various art forms, passion for backyard astronomy, and my deep desire to continue being the best person I can be via self-improvement and furthering knowledge. There is *always* something to learn.
When I think of you, the words/things that come to my mind are, intelligent, beautiful soul, strong, independent, wonderful mother, caring, loyal, and quirky but in a great way not a negative way. We all have negative traits, that is part of being a person and being balanced. I personally do not like to think of a person's negative characteristics or allow them to define them. There is such a horrible stigma placed on mental health that it is pathetic. No one should be judged for their mental/physical health. It is not what defines us. You are a person that I enjoy talking to, getting to know and hope to one day be able to meet up with in our travels if it ever works out that way. :)
I always think of your cool head, music taste, and wonderful son you raised. Cats. And now a beautiful pup. Movies. Your desire to explore, gain knowledge.
Ok- do I sound as "stalket," as I think? :)
16:56 Jan 25 2024 Times Read: 209
I am so excited to share that what I journaled about in the previous entry is a dream come true. The VA approved this device for me. It could not have come at a better time. My back pain is truly interfering with my ability to stay at my desk and do schoolwork. I have to take far too many breaks. I am still doing well in school- but the effort to make that happen is challenging.
The device is $1300, and I am getting it free from the VA.
So- even though I am still waiting for my VA disability claim to take the long-ass time to complete as is the scenario for everyone… I have had a couple incredible wins as of late. Think about it: free college with a monthly stipend living allowance while in school (again, this is not the G.I. Bill), *and* this incredible device. These are positive things to keep as focus to get through this window of time.
Been having some issues with auto log outs due to my specific ISP... it's made it aggravating to type up journal entries then be logged out when I hit "Post"... so I will cut/paste this time to try and avoid losing what I've typed.
This is my second week of school. I LOVE it. It's just damn interesting, entertaining, and wonderful to be with a group of people who have the same passion as I do. I have plenty of details to share, and will later.
Beyond that- I have been having a rough time with Osteoarthritis. Today I am using my TENS unit for the first time, and feeling some relief. Drugs don't help. I have spoken with my doctor and she is going to *try* and have the VA provide me an Alpha Stims device... similar to TENS but different. TENS units are placed directly on pain sites.
Alpha Stims is Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation. These usints treat anxiety, insomnia, and pain... all problems I have. They are placed as ear clips and will still reach your pain sites with use. A TENS unit will only treat sites where the electrodes are placed - and they don't treat any mental health issues. This could be my all-in-one treatment, and drug-free option. I want to be free of benzos as well... I love the idea of knocking all those birds out with one stone.
And so- I cross my fingers and toes once again for the VA to approve another major cost.
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