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My son thinks I would like Baldur's Gate. He sent me screen shots and it's pretty but I don't know if I would play it but I like the humor.

Feeling paranoid for the first time in a really long time.
I am always cynical, that never goes away. It keeps me grounded and able to connect with people. I have pretty firm control over my life too because change screws with me.
Recently a situation has occurred which is shifting my ability maintain certainty. Of course this means that I need to let go of fear; it is the only thing that seems to recenter me.

Yesterday was bad. for me anyway. I was so lonely. I never get lonely.
And so stuck in my head.

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STABB666
22:31 Aug 29 2024

Sorry to read this- I hope you have some techniques to balance yourself.

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Being a wild animal is incomprehensibly brutal.
You can be a happy squirrel family and one day mom just doesn't come home, and it isn't even weird. It's just nature.

I stopped eating cereal because I found out that in the US many dry breakfast cereals are overloaded with iron and too much iron is toxic.
I don't miss it.

Around 2018 Petie started having breathing problems, particularly in the summer. When he got hot, he got stressed and he would wheeze. Hanging out with the air conditioner helped. It did not slow him down. Even after he was neutered he still thought he was a ladies man. He rough-housed with our puppies when we brought them home in 2019(great Pyrenees and rottweiler), he was as rough as they were. In 2021 he became best pals with my baby granddaughter. He played with her toys, slept in her swing, played in her ball pit, and barely complained when she got a little rough.
It wasn't actually until 2023 that he slowed way down and even got kind of grouchy.
Started having digestive problems, and sleeping more.
The day he died it was my granddaughter who pointed out that his breathing was too fast. I checked on him often that afternoon and he seemed better but that evening at bedtime my husband called me to the room saying that Petie was dead.
He wasn't dead yet, he was breathing. He didn't stop until I was petting him and telling him he was alright.
I don't get attached but Petie was different. His spirit, in the face of his infirmity was something I admired. He was indomitable.

He was born July of 2014 and he died July of 2023.
I don't form personal connections with animals but his death hit me kind of hard.
As a young kitten he was exposed to an infection that attacked his eyes. I didn't expect him to recover but when he did, he was blind. It took him longer to understand the world than it did other cats and by helping him learn, I also learned.
His first nemesis's were the ceiling fan and the broom. The broom was frustrating because his play was uncontrolled. He attacked anything that was in the way of the sweeping sound and did not have control of his kitten claws.
He didn't learn about counters until he was about a year old when I realized that he never jumped up. Once I taught him, I couldn't keep him off. He was my cooking companion with his favorite food being taco meat with sour cream. Taco night was a night in which he showed no restraint. He even overturned a plate one night, getting covered in meat and taco toppings.
He always got into trouble with other cats in the house. Constantly getting into fights and he was about 3 years old when we realized why. Cat communication is largely visual. Growls, chips, meows; all mean individual things to an extent but cats mostly communicate with their bodies. Tension, playfulness, interest, disinterest; all communicated by visual markers which Petie could exhibit but could not see. Because his world was a dark world of smells, sounds, and sensations, he spoke a different dialect and could not communicate fully with cats he grew up with. He was misunderstood, at least as much as he misunderstood others and his gaze was perceived as an intimidation, and he perceived growls not even directed at him as challenges. Once we figured it out, we were able to bridge the communication gap and the fighting stopped. He became the calmest, most nurturing cat I have ever seen. He loved everyone.

to be continued....

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Cadrewolf2
22:22 Aug 10 2024

Sorry for the loss

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