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I’m going to tell you a story.



When I was in the second grade I had an art teacher. Only she didn’t like to be called an art teacher for in her mind Art could not be taught, only technique. She told us that art was something that everyone was good at for it was simply an expression of one’s soul and therefore could not be judged to be good or bad.



It took me a long time to understand what she meant by this and now that I do I have to say I agree with her. This most recent rant I putting forth due to the dozens of people who compliment me on my work, not that I’m complaining about that bit, and then turn around and say something to the effect of “I wish I had talent.” I then go on to try and explain my point of view on art that just like beauty..art cannot be defined for it is in the eye of the beholder.



Although I am hugely flattered by the compliments, I am a bit troubled by the use of the word talent when it comes to art. Talent for me is an illusion used to define people….to hold them back so to speak. To say someone has no talent in something is basically the same as telling them that they cant do something and that to me is one of the worst things you can tell someone. That they cant do something.

Art for me is simply an expression of someone’s soul.



Now some may argue that there is no soul.

That’s fine this isn’t a debate on whether or not they exist. So how about this…Art is an expression of one’s self. Better? Good, now lets move on.



Now having said this ask yourself…if Art is expression of one’s own self, how can the product be good or bad? Is it the lack of technique? Surely not…otherwise abstract art wouldn’t be considered art at all! Yet it is and though there are no discernable images within the abstract piece..merely splashes of colors, it still speaks to us. You look at it and you wonder…what was this person feeling when they painted this…and you try to work out the story behind it.



This reaction to a piece that has no shape or form to it should tell us that there is simply no such thing as bad art. It is what it is. And to me, it’s a message. What is your inner self trying to tell you as you move your brush across the page…or crayon or whatever medium you decide to use?



Before our wedding, I was trying to explain this to my husband and I sat him down, stuck a brush in his hand and asked him to paint something for me. This is what came from him:







Now to me, I think it’s brilliant. He of course promptly said it was crap (which is probably why I found it shoved into a drawer…hence the rip…I have a sad.)



What do you think? What does this piece say to you? I have a proposition for everyone who reads this. Sit yourself down with some paints…crayons...color pencils or chalk…and let your inner self speak to you. What is it trying to tell you? Send them to me, post them in the forum or post them in your own personal portfolio. Let me see a glimmer into your soul. Its time to stop hiding behind the lie of lack of talent. Express yourself, don’t be afraid…



(( On a side note..please forgive the typos if there are any..its been a fuzzy morning :) ))

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Sulks
13:24 Jul 31 2011

I like that painting. I like how the brush-strokes are deliberate, and the colours placed where they are placed. Even the rip 'fits' it because like you say, art is a glimpse of self at any particular time.



My inner self spoke to me this morning and I had to get it out, it's in my journal.

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ladyzenyxia
21:35 Jul 31 2011

Very well put...now i must go and grab me some paint!

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anji13
21:53 Jul 31 2011

My favorite teacher ever was one of my art teachers, i took every class he taught. The first day of every class he would say, " If you think I'm gonna teach ya to be a good artist then get out."



I loved that dude. He was totally awesome. I totally agree with what you're saying in this. Occasionally I get comments like that and I hate it when people follow it by saying they have no talent or something similar.



Makes me cringe.



Dang it, now I'm going to have to go do something artsy.

;)



great journal post!

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MasterMel2
10:06 Sep 10 2011

Art is truly a gift in life we all should cherish forever

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nightwalkerbloodlust
12:04 Sep 26 2011

like ur work

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Okay...I don’t normally talk about this for the fear of being seen as one of those attention seekers that tend to make up stories in order to gain sympathy. I don’t want sympathy and in truth my inspiration for writing this article was due to a conversation I had with my sister.



I'm twenty six years old and I have been suffering from depression for a very long time. My hope is that in writing this from a perspective of one who has had this issue for so long that it might help those living with a close relative who suffers from it. My sister has often told me that she sometimes feels as though she is doing everything wrong when it comes to her husband, who also suffers from depression. She’s made the comment that he’s always angry with her, and that she just doesn’t understand and doesn’t know what to do in order to help. She stated that she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be just sad all the time because whenever she’s sad she can’t usually bounce back from it.



I explained to her that its not just feeling sad, its feeling as though your completely alone, completely useless and that nothing you do will ever change that. I told her that for me its as if someone has thrown a wet blanket over me and it’s weighing me down to the point where I just don’t have the strength to throw it off...I’m stuck basically.



She told me that he goes into these defensive rages that often times lead into rants full of self loathing and that she’s had to stop him a couple of times from taking his own life. I told her that the most important thing to remember is that it’s not personal. I made sure she understood that because a lot of times these rages start out accusatory towards the other person and it’s really not meant that way.



When I’m having one of my “down times”…as I’ve nicknamed them…my perception is often distorted. I feel as though everyone around me is thinking horrible things about me, that they’re all against me and that nothing I say or do is right…that I’m worthless. Logically I know that this is not how it actually is, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling that way. It’s as if there is this someone in my head rewiring me to see things in a darker way and it often leads to anger and sadness and sometimes has lead me to fantasies of taking my own life.



It would get so bad sometimes that I would isolate myself from my friends and family because I didn’t want to be a burden on them...I felt that they were just being polite and humoring me and that they really didn’t want me around at all. Again, logically I know this to be incorrect but the thoughts and emotions were still there and I just couldn’t ignore them.



Now my brother in law is currently getting treatment for his condition and although it does help he still has these outbursts and his temper is very short. I explained to my sister that the very best thing that she could do for him is to just be there because even if he doesn’t act like it, even if he doesn’t say it deep down he really does appreciate her being there. And I say this because when I’m having one of my down days…I’m grateful for my husband…who is always there for me which I know is so terribly hard when I’m in a mind set like that.



Tennessee doesn’t have a free mental health care program so unfortunately those without insurance have to just trudge through it. For me, at least, some days are better. I’m able to see things how they are logically and these "up times" can last anywhere from days to weeks. During those times I try to do my best to reconnect with those I’ve pushed away. For the most part I’m very luck to have the friends and family that I have because I know during my down times I can get extremely hard to be around. The pessimism alone is enough to drive people away.



It takes a very strong person to be able to around someone who suffers from depression and I tip my hat to anyone who’s able to do it, because lets face it…we’re not easy to deal with.



Currently I’m having a good streak of positive thinking and I’m hoping that it lasts because I feel somewhat normal.



Now the reason I decided to share, as I mentioned before, was inspired by a conversation I'd had with my sister. I told her everything that I mentioned above. A few weeks later I was sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen, and she out of the blue came up to me and thanked me for talking to my sister about it because no one else seemed to be able to help her see what it was like in the head of someone with depression as they had never had this problem.



She told me that my sister seemed in much better spirits now that she had a better understanding of her husband’s perception.

I’m hoping that sharing what it’s like for me will help others be able to step up and be there for someone who is actually suffering from it and to remember we are actually exceedingly grateful for the ones who are there for us.

COMMENTS

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MySleepyGrenade
09:12 Jul 24 2011

Beautifully put. It's not easy to explain or understand... It doesn't follow the logical or reasonable course and that makes it hard, on everyone.



We aren't easy to deal with, that is very true, but for those who can and do are truly awesome.

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Sulks
16:27 Jul 24 2011

This was good to read. I have a friend who suffers from depression. Most days, he's great but some down-days it's as if he refuses to believe that his friends are there for him, which we all are. We do understand that that is the nature of the illness, so we muddle along with him until he 'picks up' again. It's hard on folk who care for someone who has depression, some days it seems as if nothing can be done to help.



I think that reading something like this could be a great help for both sufferers and their friends, or families. Thank you for sharing :)

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MoonCaat
23:58 Jul 24 2011

I found an herbal product online called "Happy Camper" that helps me a brighter side. St. John's Wort just put me in an "I don't give a shit" mode, and I was kind of on the outside looking in. But Happy Camper has a nice blend of herbs that help straighten me out if I get in a dark place. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this, it does help to know there are others who feel this way.

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BeautifulDiscord
01:11 Jul 25 2011

Yeah I tried st johns wort and well it did something alright but Im not sure if it actually made me feel better persay. More like you..I just didnt really care lol. I'll have to look into this "Happy camper" stuff and see how well it works for me :) thanks for the suggestion.

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NexPresul
05:22 Jul 26 2011

It is hard, and sometimes it feels like you just wear a mask and a fake smile because you don't think other people understand.

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BeautifulDiscord
05:28 Jul 26 2011

That or your worried that you'll just upset them and you really don't need the guilt on top of everything else...yeah I understand that bit too.

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Bloodmother
05:54 Jul 26 2011

Well-written and good description. Mind and body work together. But perception is interpretation, what you tell yourself about an experience. That is the area that interests me and the area where I've had some experience turning myself from sad to optimist. It involves visualization. Hard for a depressive to actually construct a positive outcome in their imagination, but it can be done.



Your brain can't really distinguish between real or imagined. it only knows what you tell it.

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anji13
13:33 Jul 26 2011

I absolutely agree with you on this. Some days I just kinda get stuck behind this plastic smile just so won't bother anyone with everything going loop de loop in my brain.

I've often had similar conversations with people who don't understand what depression is really like. It can be aggravating for both sides. Great write!

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OzmanitisTheMighty
16:48 Jul 28 2011

I know exactly what your talking about. My mother is clinically depressed. Your right..no day at the beach to be around. But well worth the effort.

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http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/man-says-rejected-blood-bank-seeming-gay-151627659.html





OKay I posted the link first so that everyone could read what I'm ranting about first hand.









Alright, now that you've had a chance to read, let me start off by saying, I'm not gay. Well obviously as I've mentioned that I have a husband. However! I am a very strong supported in gay rights. I don't feel that someone should be judged or have their rights as a human being taken away because of their sexual preference.



And the ridiculous nonsense spouted off in that article really just irks the hell out of me! Sometimes I really do want to just shake some people and ask them why the hell they are soo fucking childish!



I mean really, it reminds me of that school yard bullshit where you'd avoid the other children because they had cooties!



Seriously?! He's not allowed to donate blood which could save someone's life because he...seeeeeems gay? WTF?!



Here's the problem people. It doesn't matter what your race is, your sexual preference, or your religious or political beliefs. What matters is how you treat other people despite your differences.

Stop spreading the infection of hate and grow the fuck up!

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BLOODLIFE
07:12 Jul 20 2011

Well said.

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Darkblue
01:47 Jul 22 2011

I dislike opinion LOL

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Lullaby
09:35 Jul 24 2011

I thought it was ridiculous, too. we have the same policy in my country even.



AIDs isn't just spread by gay men. Just like stupidity isn't contained to one race.

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BeautifulDiscord
09:39 Jul 24 2011

I completely agree with you Lullaby. It doesn't make much sense at all..considering as a rule they screen every sample for HIV anyway and yet they still they hide behind this ridiculous and discriminatory practice.

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I want to start out by saying that none of my entries are meant to offend anyone, they are simply the opinions of one person, so if something I said has offended you, I will apologize ahead of time, and politely remind that no one is twisting your arm to read my posts :)



I suppose I could’ve put all of this on the front page of my profile but I decided that I would save it for my journal instead. Personally I’ve never been a huge blogger, that’s really more of my husbands department, but I decided that I would perhaps post a few entries and see how it goes.



My name is Diane, but I go by either Dee or Anne whichever your prefer. My husband is Chris and I will oftentimes refer to him. We’ve been married for almost two years now and he is by far my best friend. I’m very lucky to have him. Our two cats are Knyght and Fey, and we rescued them after someone decided that tossing them from their pick up truck window was a proper way to put their pets up for adoption. We scooped them up and we’ve been in love with them ever since. They bring a lot of joy and amusement to our lives and we honestly have no idea what we would do without them around.



I have a big love for animals and animal cruelty is probably one of the things that upset me the most. You may even in the future stumble across a few rants in regards to that subject. I won’t even squash a spider out of respect for life. No, that doesn’t mean that I’m a vegetarian. I do have my reasons for that, one being that humans are omnivores and if we weren’t meant to eat meat then we wouldn’t be able to digest it. Two, just because a wolf eats a rabbit doesn’t mean the wolf is disrespecting said rabbit.

My favorite season is fall, my favorite month is October, (do you see where this is going?) and my favorite Holiday is... (drum roll) Halloween. I know…cliché, right? I’ve always loved fall...the colors, the smell, and the weather were all seemingly perfect to me and still are. Halloween as a child for me was the best, of course then it was all about the costumes and the candy and the pumpkins, but as an adult it means a great deal more to me. Lots of happy memories.



My hobbies include writing, painting, and cooking.



I’ve considered possibly posting a few chapters of this book that I’m attempted to write to get some unbiased opinions. In so saying that I want to add although constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, please, please, please, don’t completely trash my work through your opinions. If you don’t like what I post, you’re entitled, however don’t be mean. I’ve been writing off and on for several years but I’ve never actually finished a book nor have I ever really been published. Unless, of course, you count the few pieces of poetry that I submitted through poetry.com. Considering they generally will publish and praise all pieces of work, I don’t really count that as an achievement. The genres I usually lean towards when writing are almost always fantasy or supernatural. I know that the two of those can usually be squashed into the same category, but I personally considering them to be two entirely different genres.

I’m not entirely confident in my ability as a writer but I’m hoping that perhaps if I stop being a coward long enough to let anyone read it I can finally get over that. Only time will tell, I suppose.



I feel sort of the same way about my art and only recently within the past year started sharing my pieces online with people I didn’t know personally. The positive feedback from people on different social networking sites has increased my confidence enough to want to post some more and experiment with techniques that I haven’t played around with yet so YAY! :)



That’s really all I have for now. I hope to post more in the future :) Be safe and be well.

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Isis101
06:35 Jul 22 2011

I'm also a big advocate of animal rights...but I also eat meat (I stop at baby animals, so no veal or lamb for me).

Anyway, Welcome to the world of Vampire Rave journals...some here are quite interesting! So - stake your piece of the Bloody Feather, and make yourself at home!

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