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Demons have haunted me since I was a child. But these are very different from what is sometimes described here on VR.
They are far from friendly, although they are sometimes disguised as angels. For example as love.

And I still don't know if I can come to terms with them or if they only have one goal: to destroy me. Well, they can destroy "me", but I'm a bit worried about my soul.

Today I seem to have upset someone.

I just wanted to be friendly. And not just pretend, but really.

I would like to apologize to you for the inconvenience. Even if that apology never reaches you.

Maybe this is the first time in my life that something like this has happened to me.

COMMENTS

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Ard
12:13 Aug 14 2023

The thing really got me thinking. I'm a fairly honest person, so I had to learn early on that it's better to keep quiet when you can't find kind words.
But the fact that even the kindest words after an explicit request to talk (apart from things like: tell me that you love me 😉) can cause damage is new to me.
I guess I had to learn that now that I'm old.

And it may also explain why all my relationships have failed.

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In the afternoon I reached level 70.
Exactly after 4 weeks of membership at VR. Which means I've clearly been spending too much time here and should slow down a bit.

Or rather: in a nightmare.
Even in the dream I thought that I had only recently thought that I hadn't had a nightmare in decades and at the same time I was still falling and wondering how I could save myself.
First I had to know where I was falling and I remembered doing something so awkward on a ladder on the 16th floor on the balcony that I tipped over with the ladder and fell down. As I fell, I wondered how I could save myself. Oh yes, here I am thinking that and just hitting what I know to be grass over a concrete roof and trying to roll off and marveling at the fact that I can. Now I'm finally awake and continue to consider whether this is physically possible and whether I should go back to sleep. That's when I realize that my heart is actually beating a little and that's why I can hardly sleep easily.
Haven't I really had a nightmare in decades, or have I just forgotten it like I sometimes forget where I just put my keys?
Then it occurs to me that I now have this journal here and write it down.
Hm, could you really convert the energy of such a fall into a sideways movement? ...

And not just be a member.
I believe that if you are looking for a really deep and intimate relationship, you also have the need to belong to someone. Unfortunately, in contrast to romantic literature, only very few people want that.
In general, people just want to "have" something. For example, the love of the other. And then, of course, is terribly jealous at the thought that he should share some of it with others. Jealousy is a sure sign of an inability to feel real love.
A person who is looking for an intimate relationship will therefore certainly be disappointed, because such a relationship will always be a one-way street. Of course there are exceptions. I would estimate the probability of this to be about as high as a comet destroying the earth tomorrow. I mean tomorrow, at some point that will definitely happen. However, it should not deter anyone who has this need from seeking such a relationship.
Because this feeling is so wonderful that the inevitable disappointment is only a small price to pay. Nothing comes for free in this universe.