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Quote: Take me, take my purity, take my torment. Your loneliness is my loneliness, and however long or short your love may be, I am prepared for everything, because around us spring summons us to humanness and good ... Lips to Lips, Vladimir Nabokov
I felt that it was about time to do an update or something to that effect
Just because I'm not here everyday like I used to be does not mean that I'm not here
Many many times I check in just to see what's going on
For some life tends to get in the way and you don't find yourself in the same place
There usually is not a day that goes by that i don't think of at least one of my friends
When I first joined Vampire Rave my life had just taken a major turn
A life was ending that at one point I believed they would last till death
But I found myself once again beginning anew
I found myself back in the one place I'd always called HOME
It was home, a place I had grown up in
A place where I learned what death meant
A place I learned how to hide my fears
A place I learned how to put on a happy face
A place where I learned what was good in life,
And what was bad in life
It seemed at the time that no matter how far I moved or whatever I faced
Inevitably I always ended up back in that place
Back at home
When I first joined Vampire Rave it was to connect with a daughter I'd lost
To rekindle and fix a relationship I had so totally screwed up
I joined to meet new people, to possibly make new friends
I joined to see what more there was to life then what I had already known
I never expected to find so many people who knew the road I'd traveled
I connected with a few select people on a level some only dream about
I've always found it hard to like let alone trust people in general
Yet those few people helped me to see a different side of life
I side I once thought was not meant for me
They helped me to heal wounds even I didn't realize I had
They helped me to recover my dignity I'd let go of so long ago
Their friendships kept me digging out of my own private hell
If they knew it or not, there were times I wanted to give up
To just crawl back in my hole and pretend there was nothing out there
When I first joined Vampire Rave it was all I had that allowed me to be me
For about a year straight they were all I had
While I walked numbly about day in and day out
Through my days of endless physical pain
They were the one thing to make me smile
Through bouts of insomnia there was always someone there
Always laughing and telling me to GO TO BED DAMI!
Yet they understood why the sleep wouldn't come
They were there with encouragement as I climbed the ladder
Some reading may not know, and not that I usually don't toot my own horn
But I was the first person to earn the rank of Sire on this site, from rating
While I was proud of my achievement it truly wasn't joy that brought me there
Day upon day of sleeplessness leaves you with nothing to do but rate
Eventually to the point that there is nothing left to rate
I look back now and I laugh about it and I think ... You have no life girl!
I didn't really I was existing, once again I was rebuilding my life
When I first joined Vampire Rave I was not looking for love
Yet what I found was laughter, rage at times, friendships, and virtual hugs
The last thing I needed or was even looking for was a relationship
And yet I found it within most everyone I talked with
I found some who loved to laugh with me, and some who loved to laugh at me
I found love in friendships with those few people
When I first joined Vampire Rave I never imagined, I only existed
I Dedicate this
To those who have gotten to know me
To those who have called me friend
To those with whom I call friend
To those that learned to love me
And to those who have not forgotten me
I'm not gone, I'm just a few steps behind
I am amazed at times just how big Vampire Rave has grown and changed
MY THANK'S
♥ First and foremost, I thank my daughter for loving and accepting me for who I am, and not giving up on me, at least I hope she doesn't. You are the only thing that has truly kept me together all these years. I love you dearly, you are my light above all else ♥
♥ Radu ... The first person I truly talked to and got to know ... You will always be dear to me ♥
♥ CountessMoon ... The person I consider to be my closest and bestest friend here ♥
♥ King`Tarquin ... Words cannot describe you ... one must speak with you to understand ♥
♥ Miz ... My little kooky troll ... you've inspired me in many ways I can't begin to tell ♥
♥ Daire ... Vampiest of all on VR you ROCK!!! LMAO ... You still can't touch ♥
♥ Khayman ... Miracles happen to even the bitchiest of us all love, you truly are a beautiful person ♥
♥ Emmy .. One day I will get to Ireland ... I'm still holding out hope >;^{ waaaaaaa ♥
♥ Deity ... Beautiful on the outside as well as the inside ... I am not a nerd LOL ♥
♥ Robin3 ... Who always seems to be on everytime I do get to log in LOL *huggles* .. you're so sweet ♥
♥ DarknessBounds ... Kute Krazeeeee Kuban ... "The KKK took my baby away" ♥
♥ Sunshine ... There are no rainbows within the rain without the sunshine ... where ever you may be ♥
♥ Jason ... after all this time you'ld thinkk you would have finished that damn story already ... seriously though your own writing has inspired me a time or two, thank you ♥
I know there are more and I could go on on, I could say probably something about most every person I spoke to for more then 3 messages, but time nor thought process permits. So if you are not here do not be dismayed, you too are in my thoughts and my heart.
Member Since: | Jan 02, 2005 |
Last Login: | Feb 08, 2013 |
Times Viewed: | 25,412 |
Times Rated: | 1,434 |
Rating: | 9.642 |
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As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…
You have been visited & rated by Royal Sire NikkiAidyn....
Ylvax has stalked by and rated you fairly.
Enjoy the darkness..
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