My mind is shattered in pieces upon the floor
My heart bleeds blood black as the midnight sun!!
A darkness drifts in and slowly surrounds
A heart dips low to protect it's soul
A girl lies upon the floor gathering pieces
A mind once strong
Torn slowly apart bit by bit
Friends gather in wonderment
Confused by the sight before them
To gaze into eyes of glass
No shadows, no color, no light left in them
Strength and desire once prominant within
Has begun to disolve as time passes
Will there be an end to the downward sprial
Clawing and griping as the earth falls away
Slipping further into the black hole that once was my mind ...
By HellChildDami 5/28/05 ©
We can't always be happy go lucky now can we ???? >;^{
The Sleeper
At midnight, in the month of June,
I stand beneath the mystic moon.
An opiate vapor, dewy, dim,
Exhales from out her golden rim,
And, softly dripping, drop by drop,
Upon the quiet mountain top,
Steals drowsily and musically
Into the universal valley.
The rosemary nods upon the grave;
The lily lolls upon the wave;
Wrapping the fog about its breast,
The ruin molders into rest;
Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
A conscious slumber seems to take,
And would not, for the world, awake.
All Beauty sleeps!–and lo! where lies
Irene, with her Destinies!
O, lady bright! can it be right-
This window open to the night?
The wanton airs, from the tree-top,
Laughingly through the lattice drop-
The bodiless airs, a wizard rout,
Flit through thy chamber in and out,
And wave the curtain canopy
So fitfully–so fearfully-
Above the closed and fringed lid
'Neath which thy slumb'ring soul lies hid,
That, o'er the floor and down the wall,
Like ghosts the shadows rise and fall!
Oh, lady dear, hast thou no fear?
Why and what art thou dreaming here?
Sure thou art come O'er far-off seas,
A wonder to these garden trees!
Strange is thy pallor! strange thy dress,
Strange, above all, thy length of tress,
And this all solemn silentness!
The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
Which is enduring, so be deep!
Heaven have her in its sacred keep!
This chamber changed for one more holy,
This bed for one more melancholy,
I pray to God that she may lie
For ever with unopened eye,
While the pale sheeted ghosts go by!
My love, she sleeps! Oh, may her sleep
As it is lasting, so be deep!
Soft may the worms about her creep!
Far in the forest, dim and old,
For her may some tall vault unfold-
Some vault that oft has flung its black
And winged panels fluttering back,
Triumphant, o'er the crested palls,
Of her grand family funerals-
Some sepulchre, remote, alone,
Against whose portal she hath thrown,
In childhood, many an idle stone-
Some tomb from out whose sounding door
She ne'er shall force an echo more,
Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
It was the dead who groaned within.
THE END By Edgar Allan Poe ©
ENDLESS YEARS OF PAIN
Wounded39 By Mark Ryden
This constant flow of pain my life has always been
Although one may look at me hearing laughter, and a happy voice exclaim
It’s not the voice that screams within these walls of my soul
To know one single simple day that has no pain
I have never known the likes of it
Not a day has gone by in my years where no pain I’ve felt
Days go by with a slow never ending creep
An ache throughout my bones and muscles
A life lived in mindless stupor would cover the pain
But for how long?
My mind of endless thought clouded by chemicals within my body?
I suffer endless sleepless hours of lying there in the darkness
I fight back the tears from the surface before they spill forth for all to see
I yearn for the pain to go away but cannot end it for myself
I’ve tried, times no one knows of, nor ever will save for now
Days like today I wonder why?
Why am I here? Why was I allowed to live? Why did they save my tiny life?
Who controls this life?
I begin to think of all those I’ve touched in my life
Have the endless years of enduring the pain been enough to make a difference?
By HellChildDami ©
Alone
by Edgar Allan Poe
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring -
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow - I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone -
And all I lov'd - I lov'd alone -
Then - in my childhood - in the dawn
Of a most stormy life - was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still -
From the torrent, or the fountain -
From the red cliff of the mountain -
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold -
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by -
From the thunder, and the storm -
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view -
MAD GIRL'S LOVE SONG
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
By Sylvia Plath ©
Too describe myself, it is a hard thing to do.
I don’t much like talking about myself.
I am an observer of man kind,
Emotions, thoughts, words, sights and sounds around me.
I have learned much in life by keeping my eyes, mind & heart open.
At a very young age I learned the meaning of loss.
My mother passed away when I was 6. I have 1 older sister, two brothers.
I am third born, and love and cherish my siblings very deeply.
We are all different in our own ways, my sister is more the yuppie, status quo type of person.
My older brother is and has always been my protector, having saved me from myself and others on a few occasions.
My younger brother is very spiritual, and a strong Christian. He has guided me often to find a desire to better my life.
I am the “Black Sheep” of my family for sure.
I am a mother, my daughter being the eldest granchild out of 9.
She is and will alwyas be my pride and joy,
There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She is my light.
Truly she is not a child, she is a beautiful young lady.
Some of you have may even talked and befriended her through this site.
I will not give you her name, that is for you to figure out.
We are very much alike in almost every way.
But do not tell her that, she gets testie if you do.
I don't blame her at all one bit for feeling that way.
I was the same way growing up
Everyone telling me I was my mother in everyway.
I would give just about anything to see or speak to my mother just once more in this lifetime. It was very hard growing up thinking that your father (who never remarried) looked at you and saw his dead ex-wife within you. I felt at times that he took his pain out on me; that he didn't love me. Over the years though, I have come to realize that he does, he’s not the same man he was years ago. I am a different person!!
THING'S I LIKE THAT ARE ME!!
SEX!!! That is always a good one to start with.
I love black, I wear basically all black clothing, and ocassionally other colors, but my pants are almost 99.9% of the time black
I listen to every kind of music except Opera, and Reagge
My passion is writing, it is not just a hobby, but what I hope to one day acheive.
I write everything .. from poems, to rants, to raves, stories, even erotica ..
So please feel free to read my journal and add it to your list if you'd like.
I like reading poetry, romance novels, as well as Vamprie novels, mythology, folklore, and much more.
What ever my mood strikes, if it keeps my attention in the beginning I will finish it within a day or two, no matter the length
I like going for drives just to get out and away and blasting the music of my mood just to collect my thoughts
I love spending time with my daughter...she is my best friend as well
I love animals, dogs, cats, little fuzy things...you name it
I do like snakes and I'm not afraid of them.
I love talking to people ... most of the times, but like everyone else I have my moments!
For nibbling a spoon does wonders ... but then nibbling leads to biting, biting requires a fork ... Therefore too much nibbling leads to spooning, too much spooning leads to forking .... so bite away my dear ...
AND message me some time ...
BUT BEWARER ... Biting once or twice is fine, mutiple bites at one time will get you blocked
WITHOUT WARNING!!
His awful skin
stretched out by some tradesman
is like my skin, here between my fingers,
a kind of webbing, a kind of frog.
Surely when first born my face was this tiny
and before I was born surely I could fly.
Not well, mind you, only a veil of skin
from my arms to my waist.
I flew at night, too. Not to be seen
for if I were I'd be taken down.
In August perhaps as the trees rose to the stars
I have flown from leaf to leaf in the thick dark.
If you had caught me with your flashlight
you would have seen a pink corpse with wings,
out, out, from her mother's belly, all furry
and hoarse skimming over the houses, the armies.
That's why the dogs of your house sniff me.
They know I'm something to be caught
somewhere in the cemetery hanging upside down
like a misshapen udder.
Bat By Anne Sexton ©
I HATE BUGS!!!!! SPIDERS!!!!!
I will jump a mile and scream and run around like an idiot looking for the 20 foot wasp spray to kill any bug in sight
I have stock in Raid!!! >;^}
MY DIS-LIKES!!!
I Dislike people who try to control me or my life
I Dislike that I am unsure of myself all the time now when I never used to be
I Dislike the things I am going through right now
I Dislike fake people...
I Dislike people who tell you one thing then do another
I dislike those that boo hoo about life....get a grip people...it's life...everyone's got problems...everyone's got their ups and downs...but if ya hate it that bad...stop wasting the air space...the ozone layer is already depleating...quit your whining...there's only so much cheese and crackers to go around...here's your sign...try putting yourself in say someone's shoes in Africa...Ethopia...you've at least got a roof over y'r head...hell you got a fuckin computer or else you wouldn't be reading this...I'm sure there are about a million people somewhere else int he world that would give their right eye to have half of what you have...Life is what you make it, if you choose to brood over allt he bad and not take it as a life learning lesson then of course your life will remain miserable...However if you learn from your mistakes and learn how to adjust your life you will find that it really isn't that bad...and as I said if it is then there is another option! And NO I DO NOT CONDONE SUICIDE! Or cutting or all that other BS!
BEWARE!!!
Meet Beasty
Keeper of the blade that protects me!
Owner of all I cherish most in life!
Guardian and Teacher to my children, Grimm and Lillith!
When they grow up they will do the same thing every night "Try to take over the world!"
Embraced
She cries at night and I am not there
She reaches to me and I feel her touch
The soft caress of her hand within mine
I look to my side, there I can see her, sense her, feel her
Her blue eyes sad and lonely
Wanting to say so much
Yet knowing not where to start
The tears build to the surface
Then threaten to flow forth
They begin to cascade down her pale white cheeks
My heart aches to take her pain
To hold her in my arms
Steal the very soul that breaks her so
Slowly she steps within my embrace
Wrapping my arms I feel the beat of her heart next to mine
My chin upon her head I feel the tears begin to flow
Within the trembling of her body
All the years of hidden pain spills forth
Thoughts control my mind
I see all the hatred and agony suffered
I lower to whisper words of comfort
She clutches to me
Nails pierce my skin and blood trickles
Her silent sobs give way to heart wrenching cries
The images and pain I can no longer bear to see
My cold lips press gently against her warm throat
Blood pluses beneath the skin
Beating faster and deeper
My teeth against her pale skin sinking in tender flesh
Blood silently flows down my throat
Her grip loosens as her tears subside
I feel the life force leaving her body
She goes limp within my embrace
Gently laid upon the bed
Brushing years of her tears from her reddened cheeks
Turning to leave, one final glance
Her years of pain now gone
By HellChildDami May 22, 2005 (12:30 am) ©
SONG PLAYING IN BACKGROUND
Shadow Realm By Seraphim Shock
Reflections start to lie
When the mirror knows too much
Yesterday has past
Tomorrow's long since gone
Thirteen years and nothing's changed
The promises, they died
Never let them see the rage
You left me wanting
Gifts, from gods below
The strangers riding call
The script already written
So patiently we wait
There's no rainbow here
These words are never mine
What's choice for the chosen
They never told me
Why?
Know now what you see
The voice behind the veil
Confessions will deceive you
Within the shadow realm
Our souls split and frayed
Through thoughts that transcend time
Know now where you stand
They'll never tell you
Why?
What Darker Naruto Character Are You?
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Just one additional thing .. if you've managed to read this whole thing, then you'll know NOT to WELCOME me to the site. I'll let you all in on a NOT so little secret ... I was the very first Sire on this site ... ask around, those who've been here awhile will let you know this, I'm not just saying ti to brag ... things happened and I was away for a time, I miss all of my friends and late night buddies I made on here, and I love talking to them when i check back in.....
Meetings held nightly at 9:00 P.M.
and 
served at 10:00 P.M.
Now accepting new applications at the door!
