I'm Monk.
What does that mean? It means a lot.
Physically, it means I'm six foot 2. Fairly well put together. Fast. Strong. Hilariously clumsy in the morning. Blond. Blue eyes. Big, strong hands. Big, strong arms. Small, square toes. Seriously, like blocks.
Mentally, it means I'm brilliant, like the heart of a star. It means I don't think like normal people. Hell, I don't think like weird people. My natural thought process is not one you would understand. Not because it is superior. But because it doesn't make sense. I will arrive at the same conclusion you do, but by a completely different path. My mind loves puzzles. If you put one in front of me, I will solve it. I also consider people to be puzzles. So if you value your secrets, do NOT speak to me. I will understand you, GET you, on a level you will find disturbing and frightening. I will KNOW you, and if you can't deal with that? Well. I don't care. Heh.
Emotionally, it means I am...well hell. I dunno even know how to explain my emotional substructure. Ah, wait, I do know.
"Strong as steel, but collapsed inside."
And finally...Monk, as a whole. I am confident to the point of arrogance. Trusting to the point of idiocy. Resilient to the point of immortality. Generous to the point of bankruptcy. Strong to the point of legend. Smart to the point of genius, and genius to the point of madness.
I am a cook, martial artist, avid reader, writer when the mood takes me, HTML coder, all around geek, dancer, and Studier of Man.
I am also a Discordian. I'm tired of explaining what it is. Heh. Brief description: I'm a follower of the Greco-Roman Goddess of Chaos and Confusion. Click here for the long description.
I'm a Monk. It's not just a name. No, I am not going to tell you what my birth-name is. It's just one of many, anyway. Get to know me, and by the time you know my birth-name, it will be irrelevant.
And now, the angry stuff.
First off, let's get the simplicities out of the way, right off the bat.
You do not like me now.
You will like me a great deal less as we go on.
If you routinely, as a matter of course, talk like a brain dead Internet tardbaby, I want nothing to do with you. I don't care if you save .23 seconds typing 'u' instead of 'you'. I don't. You're an idiot, GO AWAY AND DO NOT TALK TO ME.
If you insist on assaulting my eyes with your shit? I will crawl down your fucking throat and eat your heart.
If you bite me, I will ignore you. If you feel the need to email me to tell me how awful you think I am, I will respond, and then post yer idiocy in my journal.
If you message me, and the words 'my lord','dark master', 'your slave', or ANYTHING sexual appears?
And isn't one of my friends deliberately trying to screw with me?
Throat crawling, heart eating.
Don't flirt with me. Please. I don't care how hot you are, if you cannot pique my interest with your brain, you have NO shot at my pants. And call me shallow, but...if you aren't attractive, even if you DO pique my brain, I will not respond. If you are flirting, and I have not shot you down, but I have not responded to it either? Let it go, I'm trying to be nice.
Don't give me your opinion on things unless I ask for it. I don't care. I don't.
I love debates. I do. But don't argue with me for the sake of arguing with me. Odds are VERY good that I am wholly more intelligent than you, and will tear you apart to the point that you cry.
I enjoy a good conversation. Be able to spell, or I will kick you like a retard punting a no-legged puppy.
I am OFFENSIVE.
I am RUDE.
I am MEAN.
I would say I have a superiority complex, but that would imply that I am not superior.
I am ARROGANT AS ALL FUCK. Why? Because YOU cannot give me a reason not to be.
Humility was invented by those with nothing to be humble about.
Having said that...become my friend, and I will be yours forever.
I will defend you, come to your aid, feed you, clothe you, house you, send you money and rub yer feet.
Betray me? And I will fucking END you.
I can be kind, for no reason. Supportive. Forgiving. Even nice.
To those that have proven they deserve it.
And the ones that deserve it...are always the ones who can see that potential, and are laughing by this point of my profile.
Because seriously, if you can't see what is and isn't bullhockey on here?
Yer a fuckwit, go away.
Also! From this point forward, 1:47 am , the first of August, 2009 Brisbane time, ANYONE WHO ONLY PUTS A STAMP ON MY PAGE WILL BE RATED A 1! Friend, foe, House member, Alliance buddy, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.
I don't care if you paid money. I don't care if you couldn't think of anything to say!
I. DON'T. CARE.
Now, if you REALLY wanna use yer stamp, you can. But there better be at least a personalized note about my damn profile in there, or BAM! You get a 1.
Only a Stamp = 1. Period. End of story. Exactly ONE person on this site could stamp me, and I wouldn't give her a one. You are very likely not her.
Unless you are, in which case, hi!
My views on rating.
I will rate you whatever the fuck I think you deserve. Dozens of pics of yer underage self in a bra? Lots of graphics, sparkly text, and background music? ANYTHING SAYING HOW GOOD BUFFY AND TWILIGHT ARE? Guess what! Low rate!
Concise information, good stories, well written, USING ALL THE FUCKING LETTERS? High rate!
See how easy that is?
And frankly, I don't give a rats ass what you rate me. I really don't.
Last, but not least...if you made it this far...I do not block. Ever. For any reason. I am not some thin skinned punkass who cannot deal with the consequences of his mistakes, his own stupidity, or the backlash from his words. I piss you off? You tell me. I will likely laugh in your face, but at least you will have your say.
Unlike the kidiots who block me because they just cannot accept the fact that every cutting remark that comes from me not only rips their tender little assholes asunder, but it's also deliciously true.
Anyway, thanks for swinging by. Tata!
