you have a gift for writing, even if its aimless sometimes, you need to study dialog in other people's true voice in real life. You need to remember how people phrase things, what they value, their slang their manner of speech. Dialog is weak for you, and if you do use it so infrequently as you do, then it better strike like lightnings
and then thunder.
you have a passion that will never be requited for in your bisexuality you have no time to love yourself even though you think you do love yourself. There is no time to read. You do not read enough. I went through everything except your personal stuff in your journal. Your study of languages says to me you desire travel. You desire travel to escape the distraction of your life that clouds the inner you. You will never make the trip as depression does that to a person, it grounds them. Depression can be fought with a sense of purpose on the nutritional tricks I wrote about the last time I was here. But also to have reason in life is the thing that conquers aimlessness, you must travel and read books of writers written in the lands you are visiting. Go to the scenes where the writer has described, see the characters, hear them speak. This is what writers do, they bring places to life, people to life.
You should travel alone, meet new people. Constantly barracaded by your lovers and barraged by their needyness, as slaves is a waste of your time. You have not mastered yourself.
Your mind is sharp, wickedly so and your vocabulary is better than mine, and I have mastered the English language. You have all the potential in the world and thus increases your passion, but your passion will never be fulfilled if you ignore yourself. Slaves are never worthy, the only people who should be loved are the ones who do not require it.
If you did have time for yourself, your photographic memory for words and the meaning of them from living a full distracted life of the emotions of the now point, is clear, you spend too much time in interpersonal relations and maintenance. True love needs no upkeep, you do not need to show love fight for love or have to deal with people's demands upon your time. Either people belong with you and you remain an individual or they are wasting your life and keeping you away from your mission.
You are destined to be a writer, you are destined to travel, you are destined to find the inner you the cosmic you the universal you that connects you to all as an empath, to be a conduit of the human experience, to make others realize they are alive. That what they experienced yesterday was really something magical, it is the writer's eyes the true observer of life that places importance on the humdrum and makes it beautiful beyond description.
You must escape your life and read, see how writers have described life in their eyes to see how you look at things.
You have the discipline to write well, the ability, but your voiced is missing. You are too dead and for that you need people too much. If you were truly alive, and more alive you would expand your horizons.
Living by force of habit and distraction is not living, that is a rat in a cage running in those little wheels of theirs.
I should give you a one for you are wasting your potential. You could go further than me as a writer, and I may be the most infamous and famous writer of this century. But read and your spelling will increase to fit your lexicon.
