The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

now im not leaving till sunday...

so no net after saturday...

Hey friends,

I'll be gone for awhile, moving to a place with no 'net. Gonna miss u guys! Wish me luck on my trip... 8 hrs isn't bad though...



Take care and see ya when I get back,



Cherish aka fallen

my hands shake cause today,

i know you're gonna break my heart and,

my life without you in it

is a life thats not worth living.

i'll be strong but i wish i was someone else,

anyone but me tonight



here i stand, all alone,tonight

and i wish i was strong enough to breathe

without you, in my life,

i wish i was anyone but me.



so I'll start to pretend I'm ok

but you should know by now that

my life is smoke and mirrors,

the one thing is crystal clear

that i'm the one wishing i was someone else,

Anyone but me tonight



here i stand (here i stand)

all alone, (here i stand)

tonight (here i stand)

and i wish i was strong enough to breathe (here i stand)

without you, (here i stand)

in my life, (here i stand)

i wish i was anyone but me.



(Where do we go?) (Where do we go?)



inside i start to fall apart. (Where do we go?)

and i'll pretend I'm holding on (Where do we go?)

so i guess i'll bleed in silence.(In silence)

i guess i'll bleed in silence.



here i stand (here i stand)

all alone, (here i stand)

tonight (here i stand)

and i wish i was strong enough to breathe (here i stand)

without you, (here i stand)

in my life, (here i stand)

i wish i was anyone but me.



here i stand (here i stand)

all alone, (here i stand)

tonight (here i stand)

and i wish i was strong enough to breathe (here i stand)

without you, (here i stand)

in my life, (here i stand)

i wish i was anyone but me.

Dear Adam,

Hello. Do you realize the hurt you've caused me? Do you know what you've done? After you left me, my world crumbled. I'm lost, I'm alone, I'm afriad. You broke me. I've always been the fragile type, and of all the people in my life, you would be the one to know that. Why would you cause me so much heart ache and grief? Why would you leave me in such a way that you did? How could you leave the woman that you vowed to spend eternity with? I gave you a chance, I gave US a chance. Even when my aunt and uncle told me to beware of you because they know "your type", I didn't believe them. I followed my heart, and my heart told me to love you despite your past. Because I know that people make mistakes. I did just that too, loved you whole heartedly for who you are, and ignored who you WERE. Or so I thought I knew who you were at the time. I'll always remember the elevator at holiday inn, the heated passion... The good times we had walking the dogs, the first day you came "home". You were home, your home was with me. And now you've left me, homeless and alone. I have to give up everything I have just to be able to leave and start all over again. That's what I've gotten so good at, starting over again. I get myself into these terrible messes. You weren't a mistake Adam. Loving you was never a mistake. I admit we rushed into marriage. Young and in love, love makes a person do crazy things. I knew the person you could've been, if you would've chosen to be that person. You always said that you were an asshole, but I knew that you could be a great person. No one ever showed you real love, how could I have expected to get love from you? Adam, there's so many good things about you that I could mention. If only you would've shown them... I'll always remember the good times. Maybe some day I will find it in my heart to forgive you for the grief you've caused me. I anticipated this. After all, you always told me that you push people away, people that care about you and love you. I hope you find happiness Adam, I really do. I hope you get the help you need. You were right in a way, you did bring me down alot. And I was depressed alot more with you. But not as bad as I am now. I'm not asking for pity, I am not trying to feel sorry for myself. I just wish that you could take a step back and look at what you've really done to me. This whole situation makes me nautious and sick to my stomach. Yet, my love for you is still there. We grew apart awhile ago. I started to feel it come on. When I said "I do", I meant it. To this day I will never know if you actually did or not. I don't want to know. Because what you don't know, can't hurt you. Adam, I will get over you, I will get over the mess you caused in my life. YOU know that I am a strong woman, I am independent when I am capable of it. You of all people know that I have been through hell and back, and I am still here, I am breathing, I am ALIVE. I may not be the happiest person in the world, I may not always be bright eyed and bubbly, but I can and I will make it through what you did to me. I've battled so many demons already. You can't bring me down. I won't let you.

Although I know you will never read this, nor do I really want you to read this, I needed to get things off my chest. Tears roll down my face as I type this out, but I have my head held up high. I will move on without you. You've hurt me beyond belief, but I can take this. With help from friends and family, I will get through this shit. I am so thankful for Linda, without her I would be homeless, out on the streets. She is an angel. In a way, I am happy you "dumped me off" with her. I think you did this all for my best interest, you just went about it the wrong way. I don't wish to see you again, except for in court if one of us files for divorce, which I can't afford. I'll get my life back together, one piece at a time, like a jigsaw puzzle.

I vowed to love, honor, and Cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part... I meant that vow.

You were my everything, now you are nothing.



Cherish

you know who u r...



the red jumpsuit apparatus- "your guardian angel"

When I see your smile

Tears roll down my face I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul

And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one



I will never let you fall (let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven



It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Seasons are changing

And waves are crashing

And stars are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one



I will never let you fall (let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven



Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart

Please don't throw that away

Cuz I'm here for you

Please don't walk away and

Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah



Use me as you will

Pull my strings just for a thrill

And I know I'll be okay

Though my skies are turning gray



I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

[to fade]



A Day to Remember- "Had Me at Hello"

I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight

Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise

I know the signs are on and I feel this too

None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you



And I'm wasting away, away from you

And I'm wasting away, away from you



What have I gotten into this time around

I know that I had sworn I'd never trust

anyone again but I didn't have to



You had me at hello.



I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours

It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by

I watch the clock to make my timing just right



Would it be okay?

Would it be okay if I took your breath away?



And I'm wasting away, away from you.

And I'm wasting away, away from you.



What have I gotten into this time around

I know that I had sworn I'd never trust

anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello



You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)



You gave me butterflies (you are so cute)

at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

[x4]



What have I gotten into this time around

I know that I had sworn I'd never trust

anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello

You had me at hello

You had me at hello



u mean so much to me...

I feel so alone, so very alone. Why do I constantly fuck things up? Why am I such a good for nothing failure? Why does everyone in my life seem to despise me? Why... Do I keep trying? Im giving up on everything... All I want is someone that actually ...likes me for who I am, and can stand me and put up with my bullshit, to hold me right now and let me weep on their shoulders. I'm so alone... So very alone. No one cares