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I can't tell you how many people have asked how my Summer was.

Well, here are most of my memories... this way ill never forget them!



Meeting him, starting a fling.

Kissing to wake him up the morning of my exam.

Going to Seabreeze, he said he liked how daring I was.

Going to the beach, he popped his knee out in the tree.

Watching True blood.

Going Rock climbing.

Sleepovers.

The night before Darien lake.

Going to Darien lake with Kim, he said I looked like a guy on top of Cloud.

Going to the lake at night, swimming in the Huge waves.

Camp fires.

Energy drinks.

Picking Kim up at the airport.

Making me feel better that one night we were at the lake, when I was feeling down.

Concerts downtown.

Almost getting into the flyleaf one.

Getting chinese instead.

Truth-or-dare in the RV.

Deep talks in the RV. Coming to pick me up to go to your house after my parents were going to make me walk in the dark.

Piercing Dakota's ear.

Amber goes to Europe.

Getting me through the skanks using my house to party.

Going to the Air show.

Fixing cloud's brakes, and "fixing" the window.

Driving all the way to brockport for the closed piercing salon.

Tiny, and Fred.

Cedar point.

Just sitting in his room, lights off. Music blasting.

Almost falling asleep in Taylor's social worker's office.

Meeting Holly.

Going to Lickety splits.

Taco Bell.

Alomst getting a sleepover without his dad there, but my "parents" ruin everything

Eating dinner together

Being called a jew

You bonding with my "dad"

Going to Advance auto parts

You're a volunteer firefighter, right?

Going to camp

Going to the gorge

Taylor gets drunk... BRR

Going bridge jumping

Visiting Massena

Dropping you off at college

Saying goodbye



Well, my Summer left with you.

Just don't forget me. You promised

I fucking hate this. I was the one that cared. I was the one that give him EVERYTHING, including my entire summer. And for what? to be bitched at and told that im too clingy after he leaves?

After I gave him so much. Trust. Compassion. Protection...

He said he wouldn't forget me.

said we'd always be close.



He said I was the only one that ever cared when he fucked up his knee.

That kim and I were the only two that ever gave a fuck.

How much it meant to him when I kissed him to wake him up that morning of my exam way back in June.



We linked immediately.

Everything was perfect. Even when everyone- EVERYONE scolded me for spending so much time with him.

But he was worth it.



Those nights, kissing in the water under the stars at the beach. Watching True blood. Going rock climbing. Going to the beach. Fireworks. White Lady's castle. Playing truth-or-dare in the RV. Making out in the RV. Going bridge jumping. Sleepovers. Watching movies. Concerts. Darien Lake. Seabreeze. Driving around in Cloud. Listening to music. Fooling around with the fangs. Just talking. Laughing. Making bon fires. Parties. Getting energy drinks. Laying around in his bed, under the wolf blanket. Going to see the swans, and out to the lighthouse. Making food after work. Falling asleep together. Going to camp. Eating dinner with my family, and his. Being called a jew. And a wench. Working on Cloud in my driveway. Being picked up after I thought i'd just walk to his place. Lawrence's birthday. watching his dad hit his grilled cheese with a stick.



It was like heaven.



But he was hurting. And that killed me.

So I tried to help.



When were apart for a long time, we fought.

That's happening now, too.



I contact him because I care. But he never bothers. I have been putting him first for months now.



I don't know him, he's right.

But I would do anything to get the chance.



I'm clingy? I texted him three times. He didn't respond, so I quit.

I texted kim a few times asking about him... is that a fucking crime?



Why doesn't anyone understand?

He thinks im obsessive, that im immature and stupid. That i'm weak.



But he doesn't know the truth- why I simply CAN NOT just forget him. Will he ever bother to take the chance to know?



The tears flow, but no one's here to wipe them away.

I am forced to suffer this alone.



What's worse? He doesn't even care how he hurts me.

These words are flowing like water.



I hate this. Why can't things just go back to normal? I just want to talk to my best friend.

After an entire summer together, you'd think that that would make sense.



Why do I always get hurt?

I don't deserve this. Do I?

For worrying about him?



I never wanted to hurt him.



What does he want from me?

I offered him everything.



O wanted to help. I only wanted to help. That's all. And he thinks I am falling for him...

Maybe.

But I am done now.



Please. I just can't go on like this.

Not when I have so much to tell him.



What's worse? he talks to Every one of my friends except for me.



But what do I do now?

I could not be happier just now.

My family is safe and sound, and everything is amazing within our walls.

We are closer.

Stronger.

Invinceible.



This has brought new experiences.

New love, and hope.

New understanding of just how powerful we truly are.



I feel like I am complete bliss just now.

Our bonds will never be broken.



So why do I feel so used?

Why I am I still crying?



Why do I still feel broken?



I feel used.

A whore, only there for personal game.



I don't know what to do.



My heart is so confused...

Doesn't know whether to be joyful or depressed.



Where do I go from here?

COMMENTS

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LordWolf
03:04 Sep 16 2010

you have friends that love you. lean on them when you need to, step away if you need to...



i know your friends will always back you up.

~W~

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