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another entry into my journal, i dont know why i wanted to write what i'm feeling, i guess i feel lonely more these days, i dont even know if i should write this i'm not looking for sympathy its the worse kind of attention, i just want to sit hear and listen to my music its dark and i feel like i should make an effot but whats the point why should i do anything? i dont achive anything or learn anything doing nothing but i have the knowlege of the internet at my finger tips, i have the wisdom of my music, and i have the company of my demons and madness, and i still write this i write and i know that some one will read this and some will think i'm mad and some will relate, some will read it and forget and some will read it and feel what i feel, i want to leave my mark on life but i dont want the power, i want to help people i want them to look at me and see how strong i am, how i can fight no matter what is in my life, i wont give in on this world even though at time i feel it has on me, i heard some things today which i liked, it said that, have you ever noticed that some one gets a visit from an angel either before they go crazy or before they die? do you really want to see what an angel looks like? i liked this, it was somthing i read into cos i guess in more ways than 1 i am crazy. and who can say what normal is anyway?

Empty vessel under the sun wipe the dust

from my face another morning black sunday

coming down again empty vessel empty veins

empty bottle wish for rain that pain again

wash the blood off my face the pulse from

my brain and i feel that pain again



im looking over my shoulder cos millions

will whisper im killing myself again maybe

im dying faster but nothing ever lasts i

remember a night from my past when i was

stabbed in the back and its all coming

back and i feel that pain again



i abhor you i condemn you cos this pain

will never end you got away without a

scratch and now youre walking on a lucky

path i have to laugh but youd better watch

your back



this pathetic opposition theyre the

cause of my condition ill be coming back

for them ive a solution for this sad

situation nothing left but to kill myself

again because im so empty

its on the hat, but whats in my mind?