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Lately, I've been realizing how very truly alone I am. I have no friends, no one I can talk to. No one in my family pays any attention to me. Proof: both my uncles are friends on my facebook, yet none comment or notice ANY of my statuses. My Uncle Jaime, who has NEVER commented on anything, sees the actress I posted as my look-alike and says, "WOW you look really good in this photo sweetie." He doesn't even know its not me...



I have no one to turn to. Last night I cried myself to sleep. Wouldn't have been so bad (I've done it a few times) except I was sleeping right next to my boyfriend. He didn't even notice, and I was laying my head on him. He just went to sleep. It seems the only one I have left is Freddy, my stuffed lion. I don't care how childish it seems, he is the only one who is always there for me without fail.



I just wish I had someone to hang out with, to have fun with. Kris, my boyfriend, has a friend who is pretty nice, but she will always be his friend. Her name is Katie. He used to be in love with her, and sometimes I think he still is. She recently transferred to our english class, and when it was over he got up and started following her out without even checking to see if I was there. He didn't stop until they got separated by some other people. He was almost out the door, and I hadn't even left the table yet. When I caught up to him all he said was that Katie left him. What am I supposed to think about that? And even when we were under a certain influence, he spent more time with her than he did me. When I said something about it, he just brought up the fact that I was alone with her boyfriend. That was because they kept leaving the room together, leaving me in there.



I just don't know what to think of it. Part of me wants to just leave, join the navy or something. Stop trying to keep these trailing ties that seem to be cutting themselves away from me. It seems that no matter how hard I try, I always end up alone again, hurting. People are near me and close to me until I stop being of use to them or they find something better. I guess I'm just not as special as I thought. I'm just too different, I don't fit the norm. Its too hard for people to accept me.



If anyone actually read this all the way through, I thank you. I know it doesn't matter to you, but I just needed something to talk to other than Freddy. Thank you for listening, and may you find all that you need in what time you have here.

COMMENTS

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RazrTheHollowAngel
06:08 Jan 31 2010

I'm srry your feeling so lonely I know how that can feel sometimes it sucks. If you ever need someone to talk to i'm here I'm a good listener

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