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15 entries this month
03:16 Jan 31 2011
Times Read: 1,047
This week my heart is breaking for my daughter. She is learning one of life's really brutal lessons in two parts as her boyfriend is supposed to be moving on Friday. There is a reason you have "first" love instead of just Love and sometimes things are just beyond our control.
I will be honest, I don't care for the boy and I have been holding my breath waiting for the tears when he breaks up with her over the phone or actual proof that he is a cheater and a liar(as her brother firmly believes). I would have preferred a break up over this though, these moves leave so many what if's for the kids and it is so hard for them to move on from. I should know, by the time I was her age I was such an expert at packing and moving that I could have worked for Rat.
I got so used to moving that it seemed pointless to make friends after a while but if we stayed anywhere long enough I usually did. I am told that I am quite likable.
We moved a lot. Sometimes I knew and was able to tell my "friends" but there were a lot of times that I came home from school to find we were leaving or we moved over the holidays. I could never hope to keep in touch with those people I left behind. To me they were disposable but tonight as I watch my daughter start to grieve for a boy who could be walking out of her life for good by the end of this week I couldn't help but wonder if anyone had cried for me when I had moved. Had any of the children I had crossed paths with missed me? Had they looked for letters from me? At what point had they given up?
Her experience is giving me a fresh perspective since I have always considered myself quite forgettable. I am the first to say that people tend to forget me before I am even gone.
17:50 Jan 21 2011
Times Read: 1,076
I can't say it enough to people, I am 36 years old and have been online since 2006. I am still html retarded, I am afraid of every glitch and unfamiliar internet situations can cause me Xtreme confusion.
This morning I nearly had a meltdown over(of all things)paying my communications bill. My service provider underwent some sort of website changes in the last month. So when I logged on this morning(Great Googly Moogly)I had multiple choice options!
Ok ok, so I try to find a phone number...nothing just more web stuff! I almost started hyperventilating.
I know a lot of people think this is stupid. Technology moves faster than I can afford to keep up with it, I am one of the few people affected by the disappearance of the phone booth in today's world. I actually like touching books when I read them and I don't mind waiting for things! It's the best part of getting anything is the wait!
(breath)
Back to the bill; I called my service provider to ask for help learning to navigate the new mess. I was pleasantly surprised when the computer voice that kept asking me for information complied to my request to "just give me a person". It gave me no lip this time!
In the end people were very nice, the first person to take my call was sympathetic and the man who explained the new system to me did not laugh while I was on the phone with him, I am sure he did after I hung up. The bill got paid.
08:11 Jan 21 2011
Times Read: 1,085
My one great hope is that one day people will appreciate my sense of humor,
perhaps they will appreciate that I have humor...a titter would be nice once in a while or little half assed grin.
15:08 Jan 20 2011
Times Read: 1,095
This morning I wracked myself good. Got up early, had all the best intentions in the world. I need to catch up housework; well that's never ending. I wanted to spend quality time online and just basically be productive while enjoying myself.
That is shot. I will be moving like a granny for a couple of days, at least. Apparently when you combine wooden steps with thick frost what you get is me sliding right down them and bruising my left side while pulling the muscles in my upper back-left. I am lucky not to have twisted my ankle or worse, I am grateful for the ability to fall well. Even picking up a coffee cup hurts.
I forsee a long hot shower in my future, some anti inflammatory and possibly some Icy Hot.
I may not answer the phone today if it will be a long involved conversation because I do want to try to get some things done around here and I am low tech, this means that while my shoulder is out it would be very bad for me to be holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear while attempting to fold clothes, wash dishes, sweep floor, etc....
I will be talking to Myth about getting something put on those steps before someone else gets hurt or I end up layed up for weeks instead of days.
0o19:50 Jan 19 2011
Times Read: 1,106
I was sitting here reading journals and I heard running water...looked around...o0
Nothing....nothing; suddenly I see it...a grey ball of fluff drinking from the water bowl. The thing is honestly bigger than she is, with two cats and two dogs I don't need a water BOWL. I need a trough.
Anyway, there is my Stormie kitty drinking from the water bowl and the very fast lap lap lap of her tongue sounds like the faucet has been left running.
14:17 Jan 19 2011
Times Read: 1,114
This morning I have had a rare and sweet occurrence(on VR).
A real person, not a carbon copy of a single carbon based life form converted electronically and digitally to our society over and over again. An actual individual who joined the site.
He actually put together a sweet little basic profile and guess what...He fucking READS the profiles!
That is itself a rarity anymore. Coral, you made my fuckin' day.
Rock on!
04:13 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 1,121
Tomorrow we take the young lady to the dentist for the last time(hopefully)until July. She is getting a second filling and I know she is a little nervous.
14:32 Jan 17 2011
Times Read: 1,130
I do not believe in; keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
First off, as far as I know I have no enemies. There may be people out there who do not like me; for whatever reason but I have not yet to my own knowledge set out to dislike and destroy anyone.
Secondly, why would anyone want to be close with someone they don't like. Of course I also don't understand the "grudge fuck". How does it go? I hate you so much I am going to screw the shit out of you! Um yeah, don't get it.
If someone doesn't like me, I don't want to play them; shit I don't even want them near me. I certainly won't walk up to a person that I don't like and pretend to be their friend. There are a lot of things I guess that I will never understand.
06:50 Jan 17 2011
Times Read: 1,141
I guess it is late and we are thinking about sleep, I am taking votes on this...
15:31 Jan 16 2011
Times Read: 1,167
I posted this in a forum and felt it worth sharing.
Recently I have questioned myself daily; why do I stay on this site. It seems like it has become such a soap opera. People screwing and fighting and dying inexplicably. Spying, cat fights, head games; has it always been like this and as my associations have developed I have become more aware? If this is the case I want the blinders back!
Why do I stay? Why, hmmm....funny how the answers evolve over time. There are some people I have met here who I fear I would fall out of touch with should I leave. I really enjoy the rare conversations and debates which are in no way site related with people who pay no heed to site politics. I like looking around and seeing the personalities and tastes of people who call themselves vampire's, goths or emo's. Hearing music I have never heard before....
There is a deeper darkness to the Dark Network and it takes away from what I used to consider a mysterious beauty.
13:44 Jan 13 2011
Times Read: 1,171
After the Sunday night to Monday snow storm we were measuring nearly 5 inches of powder. The kids have been home since Monday and I am expecting the school to call off tomorrow too because there is just no point, it was only supposed to be a half day and even making it a whole day won't make up for the missed week.
I have been offline quite a bit this week largely because the temperatures have been so low, the snow has been covered since Monday afternoon with about a quarter inch sheet of ice and the kids were so bored I just handed over the computer.
Myth has also been home all week and finally went back to work this morning. He is trying to quit smoking and the computer(with the aid of nicotine patches)has been a useful diversion.
I hate that my time was cut so short this week but life happens, next week we have a holiday and a dentist appointment so it will be more of the same just no snow(I hope, stupid forcast is hinting at freezing rain on MLK day).
I hope that people can understand and it has not been to much of an inconvenience to anyone. I know that for some people the timing was just poor enough to be questionable as emails were not answered in a timely fashion and my VR time suddenly decreased.
It was just real life and nothing more.
19:01 Jan 08 2011
Times Read: 1,177
It's working, it's working! 90% chance of snow/sleet on Monday just dropped to 80%!
16:16 Jan 08 2011
Times Read: 1,179
It is a very blustery day; to paraphrase Milne.
I stayed up so late last night that by the time I got to bed it was early, araound 5am in fact. I am trying to shake that off.
Forgive me if I go a bit awry, my brain is cloudy at best but right it's clear outside! It is not expected to last. Snow is expected in the wee hours of Monday morning, guaranteeing me an early trip to the store Sunday morning for a bleary eyed attempt at filling the pantry before church lets out and all of upstate South Carolina dumps into the grocery stores like hoardes of Willard's rats to buy up and devour every perishable item in sight. All this in preparation for two days of miserable yet fun weather.
I have already posted about this in a forum in hopes of jinxing it and making the snow snow go away, I don't want the kids home two extra days.
I checked the weather and nothing has changed yet, perhaps after someone reads it.
15:21 Jan 04 2011
Times Read: 1,183
A new year, a fresh start....today is the kids first day back to school and I am taking full advantage! For Christmas we got a second computer(finally)! We found it at the Boys Camp Wilderness store in Seneca for $30! Sweet little Apple eMac with it's quirks and foibles from being previously used but now the kids are busily facebooking and away on it and me?...When Myth is home I can still be online! I can facebook, VR and yahoo to my hearts content and when he goes back to work I can Hulu, fearnet and Netflix without the stress of knowing I am letting a coven down or wilting my rasberries.
Oh the freedom!
Rejoice! Rejoice! Ahhhhh
04:13 Jan 04 2011
Times Read: 1,198
I love being able to say to my husband, while logged into VR
the things which I could so easily say in person...
without having to log out so that he can use the chair.
It is so nice having a second computer, finally!
Second best Christmas present ever!
First of course was you Dear :)
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COMMENTS
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SpellBound
04:20 Jan 31 2011
Yes I am sure this is very hard on her. But she has a wonderful mother to be there for her.
Bijou
04:35 Jan 31 2011
this is always the hardest lesson for any young girl...just give her lots of hugs.....thankfully I have a while before i have to deal with this lesson with Trillian.
moonkissed
05:00 Jan 31 2011
Thank you ladies, there will be lots of hugs and understanding over the next few months at least. I am not sure how far into Georgia he is moving but he does not have his own transportation or even a license. I figure that if he does not call, get on line or try to somehow visit then it's probably over and she needs to move on.
Saetan
07:09 Jan 31 2011
Not quite forgettable:) I enjoy reading your journal quite a bit both online and off.
moonkissed
07:29 Jan 31 2011
Thank you Saetan :)
You have no idea what that means to me.
LadyChordewa
18:56 Jan 31 2011
moonkissed
19:09 Jan 31 2011
Thanks LadyC. Yes I know it. I wish the boy would just break it off with her especially in light of what defeated1 told me last night; this boy is seeing a girl in town. This is really going to be a very hard lesson for her.