23:09 May 26 2022
Times Read: 1,217
Hate, like love, is a strong emotion. You really have to be invested in a person to feel true hatred for them. The thing about VR, or the internet in general, is that I'm not invested in the majority of the people I encounter. You can't be. So, to say I hate anyone here is silly. For one, you don't know what I feel as you aren't me. Do I dislike people? Oh, for sure. Some very much so, but I don't actively hate any member here. I'm just not that invested. I simply do not care. If anything, I'm apathetic in regards to 99.99% of the member base. Apathy is a lack of interest or concern. And that pretty much sums up VR for me. I log in, see to my duties as an Admin, and then I log off. Maybe I'll write a journal. But for the most part, I'm hardly here. I work full-time, I have an active social life, I spend time with my family and my friends, my boyfriend. VR is not a priority to me. The members, once I log off, mean nothing to me. The few people I do like from here I have access to outside of VR. Even those I dislike, once I log off, they're out of mind. So, no, I don't hate people here. I actually don't hate anyone in my life because such an emotion is wasted on people. No one consumes my thoughts enough to warrent such a feeling.
As for forgiveness and holding grudges, sure. I've been known to hold on to things for too long. But, that was the old me. I am not that person, I haven't been that person for a long time now. Saying you took in my account in the hopes that I would come around and... Do what exactly? Say sorry? No. I stand by my words. There's mental handicaps and then there's pure laziness and an unwillingness to learn better. I have people in my family who are mentally handicapped, but even they try. You don't try. And I find the hypocrisy of your words worth commenting on. I don't need to be your friend. I don't want to be your friend. I've tried in the past, and every time you crossed a line. The profile in question, the profile you traded to your Coven to be nothing more than a prisoner, is gone. You had no other intentions for that profile. That was the sole reason you traded me over to you. I know that. You know that. You're just mad that I'm not playing your game. But, it's just easier to wash my hands of it and send it off into the void than it is to try and reason with you. Been there, done that, I'm over it. As for holding grudges, you're still holding some imagined slight against me. Some belief that I ruined your relationship with Tony. That I wanted to kill you. That's shit you've told me directly. I had nothing to do with your relationship ending, and I have never plotted to kill anyone. That's fucking insane. Own up to your own failings and stop blaming someone who had no influence on how you and Tony treated one another.
As for the War account. It belongs to Rachy, you fucking idiot. Never once has it ever been in my possession. Never once was it ever mine. Never once have I ever stated as such. I don't have "hidden accounts", I don't see a point to hide who I am. I explicitly state who I am on each of my accounts, and so long as you're not a complete fuckwit, you can pretty much tell in the way I write. Ask Cat if you don't want to believe me, she would know. Ask Saetan. Ask Rachy herself. Fuck, ask an Upper Admin of the IP for the profile has ever been the same as mine. They'll all tell you that the account isn't, nor ever was, mine.
This is the end of it. As far as I was concerned the matter was over the minute I deleted that account. I stopped thinking about it. But you keep bringing it up. You can't let it go. And I find that sad. To be so invested in me, to constantly feel the need to keep fighting. I'm not going to be removed from my positions, and I've been a member here for over 16 years, it's safe to say I'm not leaving. Get over it or don't. Just know that this is my last say on all of the bullshit. I'm done.
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