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I can feel myself getting sick, it's starting with my voice. It keeps cracking and I keep losing it. It's good that it's the weekend, I suppose. So once I get home from work today I can just rest. Franz has work tonight, so it's not like I'd be going out. Plus, while my legs are finally starting to hurt less, my arms feel like dead weight at my sides. It makes all the work I have to do with my arms annoying, to say the least. But, this is good. The soreness won't last for long. I have to get back to the gym at some point this weekend to put in at least an hour of something on my own. I think the plan for tonight will be to finish off the last two episodes I have left for Good Omens (which is so damn good and you should watch it if you have Amazon video) and then to sleep. Because that's how I do my Friday nights now that I'm over 30. Haha. But seriously, that sounds like the best plan ever.

It's no secret that I love the author, Neil Gaiman. It's stated on my profile that's he's my absolute favorite author ever. And, he wrote a book years and years ago with Terry Pratchett called Good Omens. It's a comical take on the end of the world and Armageddon. Anyway, Amazon made it into a series and it finally released tonight. I've watched the first episode and am well into the second and I am in love with it. It is very much just like the book in its narraration. Also, it has David Tennant as the demon, Crowley, and Michael Sheen as the angel, Aziraphale. I am loving this series far more than Starz's American Gods, which is a shame because American Gods is my favorite book.

I survived my second session with my trainer. It was arms today, and while it felt good in the moment, now my arms feel like lead. My legs are still so sore from Tuesday's session, too. Anything that has to do with sitting or bending my legs hurts like a bitch. But, that's how you know it's working. I have to go in on my own sometime this weekend, do an hour of cardio at my own pace. Jorge also gave me a meal plan, so I'm going to have to go shopping this weekend so I can start that. I feel good. This is so good for me. The pain is only going to last for a few weeks while my body gets accustomed to working all these different muscle groups again.

Catching up on the 3rd season of Attack on Titan since I subscribed to Cruncyroll. I love this fourth opening, both the song and the animation. It always seems so hopeful, so cheerful despite the actual show being so insanely violent at times. Personally though, I do feel the first three openings were a bit more fitting to the show as a whole. Showing just how horribly violent things could be. Regardless of the opening though, I absolutely love this series. I was never one for the violent shows, there have been a few I would sit through, but not ones I was so invested in. Attack on Titan is really good a pulling at the heartstrings. It's an awesome storyline, beautiful animation (excluding the horses), and characters you actually care about. Plus, you know, giant humanoid monsters who eat people and stuff...

Thinking about it now though, I think I really like the opening so much because I love Hyde.

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Crowscat
09:37 May 29 2019

That is one of the better ones I adore! Keep watching your heartstrings will continue to be pulled LOL. How do you like Crunchyroll? I have Funimation currently and was wondering how you liked yours as far as variety and member features?

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immortalxkiss
20:52 May 29 2019

I had Fun imation a few years ago, but I find I always go back to Cruncyroll. I like the selection much better.

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I had my first training session with my personal trainer. It was hard, not gonna lie. My legs feel like Jell-O and I'm of the belief that squats are the devil. But, I got through it and I have another session on Thursday. That's the really important part, just going and getting it done. First steps are always the hardest. I'm going to be sore in the morning, but it's definitely worth it. Here's to me, for getting off my ass and working seriously on bettering myself.

Bought some new clothes today, workout stuff for the gym, and a handful of new tops just because. I love stuff that's off the shoulder, and summer is the best time to pick up a bunch of cute off the shoulder tops. So, I may have gone a little overboard, but it was totally worth it. I'm amped up for my personal training appointment tomorrow night, like, I've never been this thrilled to go to the gym and workout, but I need it. I need someone who's going to get on my ass about working out and eating right, at least for the first few months. Once I'm in the habit, it'll be easy for me to just do it. But, start g, that's always the hardest part. So, while it was super expensive, I'm glad I signed up for a personal trainer.

Lucas did really well for his first movie. I didn't realize Aladdin was going to be two hours long, but he sat through all of it like a champ. I really enjoyed it, as far as a live-action version goes. No, Will Smith is not Robin Williams, but I still think he was really good as Genie. The movie was pretty to look at, the costumes were beautiful. Totally worth a watch.

We're going to go take Lucas to go see Aladdin in a little bit. I don't know how he's going to handle it, he's just starting to sit down and watch movies, but, he does like to wander around and talk while watching. So, if he becomes too much of a distraction for the other moviegoers, we'll take him home.

I'm going to enjoy this three day weekend, the first weekend I've had off in a moth and a half. It's finally stopped being overcast and rainy, it's a gorgeous day outside. It would have been perfect Faire weather.

I feel alone tonight.
Distant.
Cold.
Lonely...

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LORDMOGY
04:52 May 25 2019

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thecrucible
06:51 May 26 2019

❤️

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I start with my personal trainer on Tuesday, I'm so stoked for this. Like, for real, I've been wanting to get back into shape for so long, and now I finally have the opportunity to get down to a gym and work with someone. It's exciting! I've got 3 months of once a week training sessions, so I'm going to take full advantage of it. The one large hurdle I always have issue with is finding the motivation to do something, but right now I have that drive. So, getting back into the habit of going to the gym every day is going to be so good for me. I hate what I've done these last few years in regards to weight and just lack of exercise. Especially after I had done so well when working towards going into the military. But, now I have that motivation back and I'm dead set on bettering myself again. I'm not unhealthy, but I could definitely stand to drop a few pounds and eat better. Thankfully, working at the Ren Faire did help me kick off the getting into shape thing. All the walking I had to do was really good for me. I think this weekend I'll go buy myself a Fitbit.

I'm in a position to be able to do something nice for someone. So, once I pay off my bills and help my mother out a little, I think I'll try getting a certain thing as a gift.

I think I'm going to take my nephew out to see his first official movie this weekend. The new Aladdin remake. He's two and he's really starting to get into movies, so I want to introduce him to Disney films. I've shown him clips of the animated version of Aladdin, the one I grew up with, and he wasn't too impressed with it. But, the kid loves Moana and he's getting into Frozen, so I think he might like this one. I love that they're doing these new versions for the younger generations to enjoy. So, we'll try and see how he does. It's a test run as I really want to take him to see the new Lion King when that comes out in July.

My father removed me from Facebook. Removed me, his own fucking daughter, but decided to keep Liz. To keep my mom's side of the family... Just me. I'm the one who got thrown away.

I don't know why this is making me as upset as it is, why I'm crying like I am right now... But fuck... That hurts. Knowing I'm the one he doesn't want. His own flesh and blood...

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imagesinwords
03:24 May 22 2019

Everyone's situation is different- but I do have a toxic mother and we have not communicated since 2008, and there was a few year absence of it before then as well. When it comes to parents being despicable, all we can do is learn to accept it's THEIR problem and not ours. I can't imagine a scenario where I would disconnect with my son. I think parents should always work their damnedest to keep a relationship with their child. Even if their kids are the ones in the wrong, a parent should never decide to walk away (Tough love when kids are addicted is one thing- but in matters like yours, so *not* the same). It's his fault. He should be working hard for and maintaining a bond with you. You've called him out on his failure and instead of taking ownership he's put a wall between you.

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I am really not a fan of cryptic messages. If you want to say something to me, have the balls to say it. Don't message me with your cryptic bullshit, because it's annoying. I'm sick of having to guess what a person is talking about because they can't just say what they mean. Man (or woman) up and tell it to me straight. I'm not going to sit here and dance around the real meaning behind your words. I shouldn't have to. I like blunt honesty, I'm a blunt person, so it's appriciated when people are the same way. I was never a fan of the mind games, the word games, games in general.

Think I might just buckle down and buy myself a Playstation 4. There are a number of games that are Playstation exclusive that I would love to get my hands on.

I've gotta say, despite the backlash this last season of Game of Thrones got from the masses, I throughly enjoyed every minute of it. And the way it ended, I'd say it was exactly how it should have ended. I'm not disappointed in the least with the decisions made. A fantastic ending to an amazing show.

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Saetan
06:48 May 20 2019

Me too, I am sad it ended though. I would have loved to see a new chapter begin with Arya, and maybe see Tyrion and Sansa remarry and continue or some such storyline. My head is so full of what ifs from the show its spinning to the point of being dizzy.

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immortalxkiss
07:03 May 20 2019

Arya has always been my favorite character, in both the books and the show, and I would kill for a spinoff with just her. But, I think it was fitting the way they ended it, her sailing off to find what's West of Westeros. It mimics another character in ASoIaF lore who did the same thing and was very much like Arya.

I also would have loved to see Tyrion and Sansa remarry. I thought, despite it all, they made a good couple. But, she's ruling the North and he needs to atone for his deeds by being Bran's Hand, so it was pretty impossible to make it happen with the two of them. Though, I totally ship them.

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Saetan
10:14 May 20 2019

I am glad I am not the only one, and I agree she was also my favorite in the books too. One of my favorite episodes though, was how Sansa killed Ramsey Bolton. And low and behold episode 5 she reminded the Hound that she could kill if need be. I love the end so much it was great to see some of my earlier theories of this week in anticipation of the last episode was correct, and some were wrong.

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Well, last day of Faire was... Fun. The power went out in the city of Irwindale, so we opened an hour late, and then, since the power was out, a lot of booths couldn't do business unless it was cash, since card readers were down. So, it was slow until around noon for most people. Plus, to add to everything, it was raining on and off, so it was slow because of that. I was able to get off early, at 3, since I wasn't really needed and I would rather be here at my nephew's birthday thing. I do have to go back later tonight around 7 to pick up my pay from last week and this week. But yeah, fun times. I'm gonna actually miss working it.

It was a long day today, we were down one person, so I had to stay until close. Tomorrow might be just as busy, considering it will be the last day of Faire season. I'm so ready for it to end, but also not ready to say goodbye to the people I've met. I want to talk to Lisa about coming back and working for her next year. And I want to give Donna like, $100 for allowing me to use her garb and accessories the whole run. It's going to be a long day, so I think it's time for bed.

I finally got some time to sit down and watch the new episode of HBO's miniseries, Chernobyl. Honestly, if you have an HBO subscription, it's definitely worth watching. I wasn't born yet when the incident happened, but like I said, I have a somewhat morbid fascination with these kinds of disasters. So it's awesome to see it portrayed on screen for me. And the series is really good, the acting, directing, writing. It's all really good.

Well, Lucas is two years old today and I don't get to wish him a happy birthday, give him his present, or even see him... I just hope he's having fun on his Disneyland/California Adventure trip. Two is a little young to go to Disneyland, I think, I doubt he's going to have any memory of it, but Kevin and Liz wanted to go all out this year. I hate that I'm not there, but such is life. Maybe when he's a little older, I can take him to Disneyland on my own. And maybe by then the new Star Wars section opening later this month will be less crowded. Though, it's Disneyland, so probably not.

So, Liz got my hopes up by saying we'd be able to do something tonight so I could celebrate Lucas' birthday with him... Unfortunately they didn't get back from the aquarium in Long Beach until 8 and Lucas was too tired to give a fuck about anything. So... Yeah... Tomorrow they're going to California Adventure, Friday they're going to Disneyland. I won't see him until Monday... That hurt so much. I was accepting of the fact that I wasn't going to get to celebrate with him, but then she got my hopes up only to dash them again.


In other news, I got my new bed today, I put it together when I got home, and it's nice I like it a lot more than I liked my daybed. I also went and joined a gym, finally. I also got 3 months of sessions with a personal trainer. Just to give me that extra kick in the ass to get on the weight loss train. There's no way to not be serious about this now when I'll be heald accountable for my choices each week. I am going to start going next week, Faire will be over, I'll have a little more time to focis on other things, and I won't be so horribly tired.

Guess I was uninvited to my nephew's birthday celebration at Disneyland later this week. And, due to my job at Faire, I won't be home for his birthday dinner on Sunday... It's upsetting, I'm not going to lie.

In the short amount of time that I've been lucky enough to work Faire, I've gotten really comfortable with the people I work with. It's kind of hard not to after 5 weeks of being stuck in a giant wooden box with them for 8 hours a day. But, me and my coworker, Manny, we get along really well. Conversations, since I do work with all men save for my one female coworker, Heidi, tend to always steer towards the sexual side. Always. It can get tiresome, but it can be pretty funny as well. Just shooting the shit before Faire opens each day, yesterday our conversations were about fetishes and violet wands. He also made someone break character. I was coming back from lunch, and he says to the gentleman customer, "my wench here will service you now." I laughed, he laughed as he realized just what it was he said, and the customer laughed, as did those waiting in line who happened to hear what Manny said. It actually took a few minutes for both I and the customer to regain our composure. It was funny. Faire is technically PG at this point, but I think a lot of us older people remember when it wasn't, we remember when it was able to be raunchy and fun for the adults. And, there are always going to be those who push the PG thing just a little. Manny most definitely, you should hear his hawks. Which is why what was said was so funny.

I'm going to miss it. Next weekend is our final weekend of the season, so it'll be sad. I mean, I'm super happy to get my weekends back, but I love working Faire. It's been such a blast and I love my crew. I just hope I am able to come back next year, because I do want to work it again. And hopefully by then I'll have my own full costume, either purchased or made by me. And better shoes. That's definitely a must.

I was working Faire today and one of my customers gave me a caramel they sell at one of the booths. I don't like espresso, which was the flavor, but even so, it was so delicious. So, when I got off work I went and hunted down the booth. I bought my mom three large bags, salted vanilla, espresso, and the deep chocolate. I also bought my sister-in-law a bag of the salted vanilla, you know, for Mother's Day. I also bought myself two tubes of my favorite incense and a burner. And then, before heading home, I got my mom a dozen roses. After all the shit she's been dealing with, I need her to know that she's so very loved. She liked the gifts, as did Liz. So, I feel good.

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imagesinwords
04:15 May 12 2019

❤

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Well, my ticket has been paid. I have 90 days to complete traffic school, which will be done the first free weekend I have after Faire. That way I can devote all the time I need to it. I've never had to go to traffic school before, so yay new experiences? Yay. Though, I shouldn't have been speeding in the first place, I know that. It's so expensive, but at least this keeps a mark off my license and the ticket won't effect my insurance cost. That's what I was most worried about, my insurance going up. Because, while I don't pay much to begin with, what I do pay is pretty much all I can afford in that catagory, so a rate increase would screw me over worse than the forking out of $450.

Splurged a little and bought a new bed. Nothing fancy, just a nice frame to get my mattress off the floor. I hope it turns out to be better quality than my daybed was. But, considering it isn't all metal, I don't think there will be much of an issue in the horrible-noise-everytime-I-move department.

I have to go into work early again tomorrow, bright and early at 7. I think I'm going to ask if I can leave early, at 3. That way I get a full 8 hours and still get to go home early. I don't see why it should be a problem, Fridays are usually pretty slow anyway, and what limited amount of stuff I can do, I don't need to be there 9 hours. Plus, I have Faire this weekend, and going home a tad bit early to relax would be super beneficial for me. I'm so exhausted.

I need a day off, for real. I'm exhausted, mentally, physically, just so fucking tired.

I didn't know people still played Destiny. It was pretty garbage when I stopped playing in January. It was pretty garbage before I stopped playing in January. And this is coming from someone who spent far too much time playing both 1 and 2. I heard Outbreak Prime was back, along with Thorn and The Last Word. And I'm just like, nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm having none of that bullshit.

Truth be told, I don't really play games anymore like I used to. My Xbox has been used for nothing more than a place for me to watch Netflix and HBO. Nothing has come out recently that has caught my attention or my interest. It's all the same bullshit. I was midly curious about the new Mortal Kombat, but not enough to go out and buy it. Meh. I might buy into the hype of Borderlands 3, but that's never been a series I could play alone, I'd need friends who played it, too.

I watched the first episode of HBO's miniseries, Chernobyl. I have this morbid fascination with huge nuclear accidents like Chernobyl, Three Mile Island, the most recent one in Fukushima... There's just something so interesting in the details of these major, major disasters. But, getting back on track, the episode was really good and I'm looking forward to the rest of it.

It's been a long, long day. The Faire was so busy. It's only 8:40, but I'm taking my butt and going the fuck to sleep.

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ABHORASH
01:44 May 06 2019

It's earlier than that, here, and I'm ready to do the same. Children have far to much energy for me to keep up with them, though I did try. lol

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Got the big stuff moved out of the house yesterday: bed, TV, entertainment center, Xbox, Aphrodite, Ishtar, Harley, Quinn, and Nyx, all the clothes I wear regularly. There is still so much left at the house though. My books, the rest of my closet, odds and ends. But, the important stuff is out.

Nyx hasn't taken to the move very well. Wrangling her up last night was a nightmare, and she's been hiding since she got here. Quinn has taken to things a little easier, she's curious at least. It's going to be a horrible situation for the next few months, since they will essentially have to be constantly locked in my bedroom, but I'll see about getting them toys and a cat tree so they will be stimulated. I feel awful, but it's the reality for a little while. They'll survive.

A little something, unfinished, untitled...

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ABHORASH
05:54 May 02 2019

Very nice.

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