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I really need to work on this whole not sleeping at night thing I've got going on right now. It's not working for me. But... I still have the nightmares, I still have the sleep paralysis. Those horrible images burn themselves into my brain... It replays and replays all the time. I don't know what my issue is, but I really need it to stop.

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xxxPoisonIvyxxx
13:22 Jan 29 2019

Try CBD.

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Ravynn
19:10 Jan 29 2019

I too cannot sleep most nights.
CBD is a good idea.

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I'm getting that itch again, the desire to be the master of my own domain. The desire to open another Coven. However, I know me. And if I was to open another Coven, it would probably just be another iteration of an older idea. Probably Enlightenment again. It's like I never learn. Plus, the idea of starting a Coven up from scratch again isn't all that appealing. I don't want to have to look for members, and I don't exactly have many friends I could ask. Bah.

Maybe I'll stay with Eternal. I like Eternal, it's nice to be amongst friends and amazing people. Even if I'm not the most active person in the House.

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vXVampre
05:50 Jan 29 2019

Reach for the stars. These feeling are often grounded with good reason. I think you would make a better Coven master than many of the existing ones.

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Gossamer
11:44 Jan 29 2019

I don't know about being a better Coven Master... I've given it a go eight, nine times now? Something like that. I get bored easily, and that is always my downfall. I get bored and don't want to put in the effort and shut things down. That's how I operate.

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thecrucible
11:45 Jan 29 2019

I don’t particularly like covens, if I was just responding honestly that’s what I’d say. I generally network and am an active member of sites which are associated with vampires so that I can contribute to information and ideas with the online group of RLVC vampires. So, to say simply what I’m trying to say, I think it’s great you’re not involved in covens.

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You know, despite all the silliness that goes on around here, it's so lovely to log in and find such a wonderful message waiting for you. It really made me smile to read it, because I'm trying so hard to keep myself away from the negative thinking I'm so accustomed to. I don't want to fall back into that mindset, it was so unhealthy for me. This is only a part of the message, and I hope the person who sent it to me doesn't mind me sharing it. I just loved the positivity and the kind words.

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SinfulMelody
08:12 Jan 22 2019

I agree with the message and am glad things are working out for you

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I have never liked taking pictures of myself. My self image has always been so horrible, my self esteem so low. But these days, I don't mind it so much. I'm in a completely different place than I used to be, and honestly, it's the best thing in the world. It's not just Franz. It's my mindset. I'm actively trying to keep myself in a good place and I've been succeeding for the last month or so. It's funny what losing so much toxicity and negativity will do for you. So, I took some pictures I'm actually happy with. Like, really happy with. I shared them on Facebook and Instagram, but I figured I could share a few here, too. Life, it's getting good!

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thecrucible
07:12 Jan 22 2019

I like these pictures. You’re lovely. 🌹

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Going to spend some quality time with my nephew tomorrow while Liz does her thing for a few hours. That kid... Honestly, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. He's the reason I hold on. He's my heart. I love the days we get to spend together, just he and I. And man, he's growing up so fast! I can't believe he's going to be two in four months. I remember the night he was born like it was yesterday.

Same drama, different day.

It's old, kids. It's just so fucking old now.

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thecrucible
11:54 Jan 17 2019

:) 💋

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I've started watching You on Netflix, and... Yeah...

Having dealt with a stalker once in real life, it hits kinda close to home. People are the worst. It's good, it's really good, but a little hard to watch sometimes.


Doesn't really help me that the guy's name is Joe. Ugh.

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imagesinwords
00:25 Jan 15 2019

I watched it nonstop till I finished it On Demand before Netflix picked it up. Great show.

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I'm beginning to realize that I need to stop trying so hard...

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LordZoftheShadows
01:15 Jan 13 2019

You do try too hard.

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thecrucible
02:26 Jan 13 2019

What is it you feel you need to stop trying so hard about in life? And please answer only as long as you feel comfortable... I understand if it’s too personal. I was simply curious. Lovely entries btw, there’s always something new and unique within your writing. I’m glad you share.

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I just want to say, Netflix's Watership Down is awesome. Simply awesome.

I took this picture with Lucas today, since I was babysitting him so Kevin and Liz could go celebrate Kevin's birthday. I showed it to everyone and the concensus was that he is just like his aunt Nicole. When I was kid I would constantly roll my eyes, too. There's so much of me in that boy, I swear. Everyone says so. He's just like his auntie, Kevin and Liz better watch out! Haha.

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NITEOWL47
00:27 Jan 06 2019

That's frickin adorable.

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I'm a little unsure about the snake bites. Maybe it's just been so long since I've had them in. I don't know. Bah.

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XbluesandX
02:23 Jan 04 2019

I like them.

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LordZoftheShadows
02:58 Jan 04 2019

You always look good.

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Chupacabra
03:36 Jan 04 2019

I dig it 👍

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NITEOWL47
16:51 Jan 04 2019

Beautiful as always, dear.

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BattleBorn
04:56 Jan 05 2019

I love your snake bites. I'm so glad you put them back in!!!

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