20:02 Mar 24 2009
Times Read: 617
Just something on my mind today….
What causes strife? Is it hypocrisy? Every day stress, mounting because you haven’t dealt with it? Or could it be because just about everywhere we go in life there always seems to be a double standard?
Any one person can disagree with somebody in the position of authority, no matter where they go, be it school, a job, just about anywhere on the net--- and the outcome is usually the same the majority of the time. The party, who has the authority to say what goes, usually does, teachers, bosses, etc. hell, even parents and spouses…Most people experience at least a couple of problems and a lot more serious and complicated ones too when faced with social double standards. So people living and relying on support or trying to benefit in some sort of way are usually more stubborn, quick tempered and often touchy when they come across people or places that appear to have a double standard.
And it doesn’t seem to matter where these double standards take place, it can be between a couple, parental situations with children, or in the public. Trying to cope with double standards can be one of the biggest problems we all have had to face at one time or another. Most of us I think would like to think that it is intolerance or non-acceptance that is our biggest obstacles…but it really isn’t. It is that old double standard when someone speaks up and their voice is different than the host or the majority, which often leads to the intolerance problems. When it happens, you get this sense of feeling like being unbalanced, or even at times, blindsided with unfairness. Many people don't know how to manage with a situation that has arisen and a lot of people haven't got the confidence to speak-up for fear that a problem could arise leading to yet another confrontation, something they assuredly didn’t want in the first place, all they truly wanted was to have the same chance and ability to express themselves.
People faced with double standards being a chronic issue often begin to shut down and tune out, especially when faced with the good ole standby of dismissal of their feelings, having their thoughts, opinions or feelings dismissed due to a number of reasons like being from a different culture or country--- or we see them shutting down because they fear disagreements and arguments will arise if they try to express themselves, we see these disagreements most often started with an inflammatory remark, veiled by the caveat of “it’s just my opinion”, “or “Oops we must be having a communication break down due to a language difference”.... After a while with such attacks we see people shutting down and tuning out. Sort of goes with that old analogy, kick a dog too many times it’s either going to cower in the corner or bite back. Just like one lady I know of who was quite literally run off of a site just because one person was close friends to the person in authority didn’t like the woman who is now no longer on that site. It’s a very sad state of things when a double standard exists and innocent people get erased because of it.
Mistrust and fear of the unknown (not ever knowing what to do or say, because rules or policy is never consistent) are what people are usually most wary of, the majority of people find it difficult to cope with feelings they either don't understand or can't explain. Just because a person is different in some way, it doesn't mean they don't have the same needs, feelings and emotions as the next person. It has been stated, “That Labels are for Jars and not for People, so don't label me.”
Should my opinions or questions be held up and deemed unimportant, confrontational, un-accepting, or intolerant just because it differs from someone else’s? Or does it all come down to “they who have the loudest bitch or grip is heard foremost?” or “they who know the powers that be, get heard first, last and mostly?”
COMMENTS
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Vampirewitch39
00:37 Mar 27 2009
You know... I like your way of thinking. :)
garnetdoll
14:14 Mar 27 2009
Thank ya thank ya!