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11 entries this month
Dog Sitting21:57 Jul 31 2009
Times Read: 739
We have trails all around the apartment complex. Great for taking a walk on a sunny day.
Pai and I successfully tromped through fields of flowers, chased butterflies, jumped in puddles, played with a frog, and just generally enjoyed a nice long stroll through the woods. For a dog that doesn't like the rain he's very eager to go right through mud puddles to cool off. Had to remind him not to eat the mud though. :p
Pai had his extendable leash on and kept running ahead, stopping, and looking back at me like, "are you coming?" It was very sweet and a great reason for me to keep going.
We're back at the apartment now and he's been napping next to me on the couch. I think he wore himself out. I've been enjoying an afternoon of Pirates of the Caribbean...and baking cookies.
Don't worry mom, all's well. :)
They're Supposed to Bake for 10-12 Min. not 1706:58 Jul 18 2009
Times Read: 757
I almost forgot about the last batch of cookies I had in the oven. Got all wrapped up in watching videos from "America's Got Talent". They aren't burnt but, they will be nice and crispy and I know exactly who they're going to.
Who woulda thunk the International Man of Mystery could be stopped dead in his tracks by crispy, oatmeal raisin cookies?
Purpose Destroyed02:41 Jul 16 2009
Times Read: 768
It can always get worse and it can always get better. I'm going to vote for better because frankly, I've had quite enough today.
Went to my UB orientation today only to find out at the end of the day the program I was going into has been canceled. Which means they have no program to offer me. Great way to lose me in the shuffle folks.
I feel like I've turned my entire life upside down for nothing. I now have to go about the business of finding a new school which offers an RN to BSN program. Being so close to semester start it's doubtful I'll be able to get into anything this year.
I'm just at a complete and utter loss at the moment. I want my boardwalk girls and some ice cream. *cries*
Dinner Conversation00:51 Jul 09 2009
Times Read: 783
Morri, Birra, and I are sitting around eating a fantastic plate of nachos fixed up by Birra himself. We're talking and laughing like people do when enjoying a meal with friends. The conversation went something like this:
F: I received my authorization to test today. I sit for my exam on the 17th so I probably won't be around much for the next week and a half. Gotta study and stuff.
B: That's fine. Just don't stop cooking.
F and M: *laughter*
I think someone likes my cooking. :p
Authorization To Test19:59 Jul 08 2009
Times Read: 790
I just got the email. I sit for my official licensing exam Friday, July 17th. This is where I figure out if I learned anything in college. I feel pretty good about it but, it's still a HUGE deal. No pass, no work...no pressure.
I'll be in the basement if anyone needs me. ;)
Cell Phones06:31 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 803
Is there any reason in particular the engineer of cell phones decided it was a good idea to have them beep at you every 30 seconds for an hour warning you the battery was dieing? I know it's dieing, I don' need a warning every 30 seconds to tell me that. I'll plug it in when I'm damn good and ready. Like when it actually DIES.
Having the woods just off the balcony means...05:18 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 808
...the smell of skunk wafts through the apartment once again. What in the hell could set a skunk off almost every freakin' night? If there's something in the woods which scares ya little guy...get the hell out of the woods!
Happy Dance!20:44 Jul 03 2009
Times Read: 828
I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!
I start with a physical next week and then my official first day is July 20th. I'm sooooo excited!!!!!!!! I'm actually have a job as a nurse! *dances a very happy jig*
Mirror, mirror...23:29 Jul 02 2009
Times Read: 835
I hate days of self reflection. Of wondering if I've made the right choices. Trying to figure out what I'm so afraid of. I continue to put myself into situations that are "safe" only to find myself heartbroken over and over again. Trying to figure out if I truly believe the words of self worth which come from my mouth or if it's just a show. I wonder if I was damaged beyond repair. If I can ever truly trust again. Where do I find the balance? Where do I find the answers? Where do I find the strength to truly move on? How can I ever find you when I can't seem to find me?
It all Makes Sense Now17:52 Jul 02 2009
Times Read: 837
Been catching up on some movies I've wanted to watch. Just finished "Seven Pounds" and if you want a massive tear jerker, this will do it. Damn good movie.
When a Movie Speaks to Your Heart05:24 Jul 02 2009
Times Read: 850
It's hard not to take a moment to express the words. I just finished watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and wow. A beautiful movie of love. The love of a mother who is not your own, a love of a father who wishes he had been, a love of a woman, and the love of a man strong enough to walk away when it's the right thing to do. The love found in the innocence of childhood and how it can bridge the expanse of time...like it never existed.
I've had love like that. The love of childhood, the love of innocence. You never forget a love like that. I have the blessing of still being in contact with my childhood sweetheart. To know even though we lost each other for a time, he never stopped loving me. He didn't let it stop his life though. He found another love. He married her and they had children.
How our lives took such a turn and we found one another again I'll never know. I do know the fates planned it that way. And as much as I love him still he could only be mine for a day and a night. One precious blip in time. A stolen moment from his life.
Part of me says I should feel guilty for what I did. I should have said no. I should have been more cautious. But I can't feel guilt for the precious thing he gave to me. He gave me his trust. He gave me his love. And after all these years he still found me amazing, beautiful, exotic, and the same girl he had left all those years ago...just a touch more mature.
She can never know what happened in those 36 hours I was there. She can't know because she could never understand. And how can I blame her for that? I couldn't. She knows he still cares for me, she knows I was his first love and yet she allowed me to come.
So is it my guilt to bear for taking him for a night and a day? For taking for myself a moment of what could have been? For wondering, had the fates spoken differently, could that have been my life? I suppose that is. I betrayed the trust of a woman I met in passing and who doesn't remember me. She trusted me with her husband and when he asked me to make love to him instead of reminding him of his wife...I took him for myself.
I suppose it is now my turn to move on. To find the love I've been looking for since we said our good-byes sitting on the shores of Wasilla Lake. I still remember that day like it just happened. Hugging him tight and knowing I'd likely never see him again. All of 12 years old and feeling like I couldn't breathe because my heart was being broken by the choice of a parent.
I loved you the moment I saw you and I never stopped. Our lives have taken different paths with many parallel lines. Our roads have crossed again on occasion and I'm sure they will cross again. And as much as I love you it's time to let you go, let myself move on. Our childhood is over but, never forgotten.
Amore' Mon Amie until next time
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COMMENTS
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imagesinwords
23:20 Jul 31 2009
I think I want some of your oatmeal raisin cookies. You keep talking about them, I get a little hungrier each time.
faeriemoon
01:02 Aug 01 2009
Sugar cookies today. :)
Morrigon
03:49 Aug 01 2009
Thank you for watching him ^.^