The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

sitting on the grass thinking things through

trying to make sence out of the sencless

putting pices together finding what fits where and what dosent anymore

at this point that i relize that im fixing myself not a puzzle as id frist thought

fixing me

and trying to find what fits in me and what dosent any longer

now that ive been broken again

trying to fix myself again

trying to blow all my thoughts away

throw them into the wind to be carried off and pray they dont return to me once more

have i truely lost my sence so much

my sanity always a thought to question but now??

to question everything

the hardest and the simplest of questios

and question those questions

wondering on the impossible and the very possible and others that dont even beging to classify

where does it all fit now??

which parts of me fit with me now and which parts to leave behind

as i question all this the wind blows again

taking it all with it

every last thing

now what??

where do i begin now??

do i start over

or what???

what do i do now

and is that really what must be done??

who know for i know not

but then again i know nothing any more

all knowledge and self blown away

everything about me blown away

carried away in that gust of wind

now where do i begin

unsure of everything still. dont know what anything means any more

whats to happen next how dramatically will things change now??

what do they even mean now???

still so confussed and lost

wish i had help *sigh*

what does this all mean now????

damn it at least give me a hint

its my life as well

i should deserve to decide as well

shouldnt it

after all its my life as well

stuck in a place that i dont want to be

stuck in a position i dont want

dont want to play submissive any more

im not submissive so why should i pretend to be?? too tired to play it any more

trying not to let them break me,tear me apart

trying not to let them get to me

being backed into a corner

dont they know theyre not suppose to do that???

stuck where i dont want to be

even if i know freedom dosent exist i cant but wish for it,hope for it

thought id left that behind

all the wishing all the hoping

guess i havent left it completely behind

to burry itself among all my other memories

stuck where i dont want to be

wishing i were free

wishing i could leave

too bad that i cant play submissive anymore

well bad for them anyway

changing again

cant turn back

only accept and move forward

dont look back just keep moving

dont look back just keep going and going

stuck where i dont want to be and trying to break free

even if freedom is nothing more than a dream

ill still try to reach for it

cant give up now

stcuk where i dont want to be

and im going to change that

going to strive to get things back under control

accept and move one

keep moving forward

ever wonder how things could be different??

howd things be like if they acutally worked out for one??

if things went right for once??

about all the what ifs?

and the what could haves??

and the maybes???

sometimes we do

but things dont work out that way

who chose it to be that way??

was it us??

was it the fates??

was it destiny??

was it the gods or goddess??

who truelly chose it to be so??

would we ever find out??

will things work out atleast in the very end??

sometimes it all seems like a book

a horrow story and we all just got sucked into it

you cant helo to wonder

when the story ends will things atleast be ok

atleast for those we love

imagine to get lost in an imaginary world

one where things go right

where theres no problems at least for a while

giving us a break from such a bitchy life

one where the weather maches your current mood and changes to your liking

imagine a word where only what you like or wish exsist

where you can have more freedom and liberty

more places to roam

now dosent that seem dreamy

maybe its just my wishful thinking

or do others also imagine and think of things like this i wonder/

what do others think of when they doze of???

do they also imagine such a world??

i wonder???

well time to sneek away into my own world again.....