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any one who has ever read SimpLesLyDeAd's journal, might have read about wat happened with her and the promise we had. do not think bad thoughts of her cuz of wat happened. i owe her an apology now as well cuz of wt i did two days ago. i wasmt as strong as i thought i was. i have never bin hit with depression so hard in my life. i talked to like 5 people about it and it didnt help at all. i tried my hardest not to do it, but the lighter was in my hand and i cudnt stop myself. i had to find some way to make the pain go away. but, even that didnt work for me. i burned myself for nothing. i am so sorry Danny. i will try to hold it from now on. i will try even harder to not burn myself ever again. i am going to throw out all of my lighters today to insure that it never happens again. i am so sorry.

some of u have probably heard last resort by pappa roach. i have a question about this verse: "would it be wrong would it be right? if i took my life tonight, chances are that i might. mutilation out of sight. and im contomplating suicide." y cant i just take my life? i fucking hate everything in this world. just wen u think life cant get any worse, it does. i shud be able to kill myself and go back to hell. where i belong. i cant figure out wat the hell is stopping me. i think im about to break my promise that i made with SimpLesLyDeAd. i cant do it. the shotguns in my hand. the barrel on the bottom of my chin. the gun is fully loaded. but i cant pull the fucking trigger. GOD DAMN IT!!!!!! Y CANT I JUST DO IT ALREADY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

About one week and one day ago, one of my friends got kicked out of her house. me and my family took her in and she lived with us until today wen her mother fucking parents came and took her from us. she and i started out as good friends and then in that week, we became closer friends. But today, we became more than friends. at least i think we did. im not sure. i really hope so. it hasent even bin 30 minutes since she left and i already miss her so much. i had never expected this to happen. not in a million years. but i am very happy that it did. god i miss her. ',..,'

Life is going to hell faster and faster. i almost lost two friends and i broke up with my gf. i hate myself so much for breaking up with her. i knew how she was before i started going out with her and she used to cut herself. i knew that wen i would break up with her she would do it again and i was right. i still hate myself so ungodly much for doing it but i had to. i wanted to start burning myself so badly. i was going to burn myself 6 times. i had the lighter so close to my skin, then i remembered. the pact. the thing that drives me crazy. but i made a promise and i kept it. im not saying that the promise is a bad thing at all. i like it. its just hard. i took the lighter and threw it across the house to get it away from me.

i never knew my life could get so much worse so fast. i should have pulled the trigger on my 16 gauge shotgun wen i was in fourth grade. i could have prevented this all from happening if i did it. im such an idiot for not doing it wen i had the chance. Life is not worth living wen all u do is end up hurting someone.

i had made a pact with SimpLesLyDeAd like last month. the deal was that she would not cut herself if i did not burn myself with my lighter. i personally thought that it was a good idea. so i said yes, lets make this deal. now its driving me insane. i love the feeling of the metal burning into my skin. i love to see the scars on my arms. but now i cant do it. i havent ever since and its driving me nuts cuz i really want to. but i made a promise to her. if i could've i would have made it in blood. but i will not burn myself anymore.