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16 entries this month
Congested Soup20:42 Feb 28 2013
Times Read: 635
Congested Soup
Back when I used to play Dungeons, and Dragons, I took the lead role as the Dungeon Master. I came to loath people who obviously fabricated their entire character, insisting that they earned (through play time) everything the character had. The tell tell signs? Extraordinary status, outrageous possessions, and obscene additional skills. The reason I mention this is simple, I see the same syndrome in the ranks of people here who claim paranormal experiences, or supernatural gifts. They spin a yarn for every topic, and project themselves as experienced in multiple areas. It just becomes so transparent after they claim to be a vampire.. werewolf.. it only makes one wonder when they are going to claim to be an alien as well.
Who'de a thunk it?20:25 Feb 21 2013
Times Read: 647
Yo' Momma...21:08 Feb 19 2013
Times Read: 657
Yo momma's so ugly,
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly,
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma's so ugly,
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so ugly,
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
Yo momma's so ugly,
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma's so ugly,
they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
Yo momma's so ugly,
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma's so ugly,
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Truly Tastless20:18 Feb 19 2013
Times Read: 664
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a
REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car,
and he was a DWARF!
He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started...
Snort!20:06 Feb 19 2013
Times Read: 667
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jaguar XK-8 in
front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and
completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag. The counselor
immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. In less than
five minutes, a policeman pulled up.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer
started screaming hysterically. His Jag, which he had just picked
up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never
be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new
again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop
shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how
materialistic you high rollin' lawyers are," he said. "You are so
focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Didn’t you know that your left arm is missing
from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck
hit you."
"OH MY GOD!", screamed the lawyer, "My Rolex!"
Not for the easily offended.03:28 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 682
Not for the easily offended, if you can't handle raunchy humor then avoid this entry...
Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass?
A: Make a coffee table.
Did you know it takes five Dead Babies to make one bottle of Baby Oil?
Not for the easily offended.03:21 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 690
Not for the easily offended, or those who can't cope with raunchy humor.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Not for the easily offended.03:17 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 693
A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.
Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked
the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy ....
SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....
Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHRIEK and
hollers MY GOD ..... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY ??????
The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He was ALREADY DEAD !!!!!!!!!!
Not for the easily offended.03:03 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 703
Not for the easily offended, if you can't handle raunchy humor then avoid this entry at all cost.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
haha02:57 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 706
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
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A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
Yo Momma SO Fat..02:53 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 709
Yo Momma so fat, when she dances the band skips.
warning not for the easily offended. 02:48 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 713
Warning not for the easily offended, if you have a weak stomach for raunchy humor avoid this entry.
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How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
Yo Momma So Fat. 02:37 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 722
Yo momma’s so fat when she went to Sizzlers she got a group discount.
Yo' Momma02:31 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 723
Yo momma’s so fat she entered a fat contest and won first, second and third.
Warning not for the easily offended. 02:20 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 724
Warning, not for the easily offended....
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What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Not for the easily offended.02:02 Feb 16 2013
Times Read: 729
Warning not for the easily offended.
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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COMMENTS
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atyourwindow
00:28 Mar 01 2013
Aliens are an issue now a days lol