The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I dont know whats wrong with me. something unknown is eating away at me, killing me and torturing me. its making me fail my classes, tearing me apart from those whom i love, and simply ceasing my entire life. i'm only 15. i should die yet. i'm only a child. thats all i am. all i can do is curl up in a ball on my bed, take the medications that dont work, cry, and pray to some higher being than myself for help. but what if no one is there? no one to hear my desperate calls? are my cries all in vain? will these tears ever dry?

i am in pain, and i dont know what can help. i dont know who could help. all of the angels have fallen by now since people have killed heaven with our toxins and bullshit. God continues to only be a question, only a popular figment of our imaginations. he isnt real to me since i have never seen proof.

i am falling, down and down, further and further. never knowing where the end is, never knowing how to slow myself down. people see me again and again, day after day, but they never know me or see the hell im going through. they only see a little girl all in black with a frown on her face and a bottle of meds in her hands. nothing is left for me, nothing. i am ALONE. there is no where else to go.

People ask me whats wrong, and the truth is, i dont know. part of me wants to be left alone, but another wants everyone to stay and simply hold me together so i dont fall apart anymore.

i suppose its time for more medications and more impossible homework. then its to bed. what an eventful life i lead.

i am not asking for pity, merely someone to listen to me. i just want to know that i'm not as alone as i think i am.