The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

okay this thing pissed me off. it just earased my whole entry except for the first line...wtf? oh well here it goes again.





tomorrow i will be 3 months! and my son 13 months the day after! my boy is getting so big...time seems to be flying...yet crawling at the same time. I cant wait for april, when my boyfriend and father to be comes home from afghanistan. i am so excited to see him and build a live with him. he has been so wonderful and supportive and happy to have a family with me. plus he loves my wonderful little akio. i have been so deppressed and lonely these many months. Alone,isolated, never leaving my home or going out really, and its been so hard. even Akio doesnt like being cooped up! he wants to go out and see the world too! i hate my fathers house..i cant wait to have a home of my own..where i can live and breath again..and maybe feel like a worthwhile person.

I feel like junk half the time...my clothes dont fit...pants so big they fall off..shirts too small and unflattering...and awful hair cut ..its hard to get dressed or look in the mirror...i feel like a bum. I so wish i could get some new clothes...but ill have to wait until my shawn comes home..until then i barely leave the house. I cant wait to shirk off this deppression,this old life and dickhead father ...and say hello to the new..the beautiful...the one where its okay to have another child..and i am a beautiful and wonderful and attentive mother...who can occasionally have a break..can have a have...i cant fucking wait for that.