The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A-B-C-D-E-F-G

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P

Q-R-S

T-U-V

W-X

Y and Z

Oh how happy you will be once I teach you my A-B-C



A is for asphyxiation, you won't catch your breath

B is for the blindfold, that keeps you dark as death

C is for your cockwich that I squash beneath my shoe

While I watch you wiggle, and I laugh at you (ha ha)

D is for my dildo that you will learn to blow

E is for your enema, I control the flow

F is for my flogger, I whip you so violent

G is for the gag in place to keep your screaming silent

H is for humiliation that you must bear

I will immobilize you in my sexual lair

J is for your jizzy, jerking tendency

K for kisses, L for love and licks you offer me

M is for the manacles imprisoning your feet

N is for your nelly little nimby so sweet

O is for the O-rings, holding you in place

P is for the perspiration dripping down your face

Q is for the quirk I use to whip your eager ass

R is for restraints, to make the magic last

S is for sweet suffering that only you will know

T is for the torment, that keeps you on the go

U is for unbridled lust that only I control

As I claim for my own your body, mind, and soul

V is for the vicious urge to struggle in vain

While I tease and tantalize you and eroticize your pain

W is where, a winding woman walks

X is for excruciating X-rated talk

Y is you the yo-yo; I yank upon your string

Watch you yell and holler from the pleasure that it brings

Z is for the zestfulness with which you will submit

Now I've taught you every letter so remember all of it



Twinkle, twinkle little slut

Now I spank your naughty butt

Once I've warmed it you will cry

And I'll wipe your teary eye

Don't forget the lessons learned

Or your rumpsticks will be burned



Bah, bah black sheep in my school

You'll be shorn of all your wool

One lesson in submission, another in pain

After graduation things will never be the same

You'll become my grovelling fool

Drowning in a puddle of your own drool

WIFE WONDERS HOW TO ADDRESS HUSBAND'S CHOICE OF CLOTHES



DEAR ABBY: I think my husband may be a cross-dresser. Last night while "Roland" and I were cuddling in bed, I felt his legs and they were smoother than mine. I asked him why he keeps shaving his legs and stomach, and then it dawned on me. Roland has sent me e-mails hinting about dressing up.

One year, he purchased a pair of high heels, saying he wanted to dress up like a woman. I examined them the other day and there is evidence that they have been worn more than once. My lingerie drawer is sometimes a mess, and sometimes my clothes are a bit out of place. I believe my husband dresses up while I'm out of town on business trips.



I'd kind of like to see him dressed up, but I'm afraid he might look sexier than me. Lately Roland has been asking me if he can join me when I go shopping for clothes. He does chores around the house (vacuuming, ironing, dishes), and if he enjoys cross-dressing, I say he can wear any outfit he wants. How can I tell him I know what he's doing? -- WISE TO HIM IN FORT WORTH



DEAR WISE TO HIM: The next time the two of you cuddle up in bed, tell Roland you have been thinking about the e-mail he sent you regarding dressing up, that it's OK with you, and you think you might enjoy seeing him that way. It's a non-threatening way to get the message across.



But please remember that not all men who shave their body hair are cross-dressers. And if your husband has been doing the ironing -- and the washing that would naturally precede it -- your clothes may not have been the way you left them because he put them away. As to him accompanying you shopping, plenty of non-cross-dressers shop with their wives -- and some of them have better taste than the women

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the

channels.



She asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust.'



And then the fight started...





=========================================================



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.



She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3

seconds.'



I bought her a scale.



And then the fight started...





=========================================================



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive...

so, I took her to a gas station...



And then the fight started...





=========================================================



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for

Social Security.



The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to

verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my

wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would

have to go home and come back later.



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing

my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is

proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the

Social Security office.



She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten

disability, too.'



And then the fight started...



=========================================================



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at

a nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'



'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

hasn't been sober since.'



'My Goodness!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started...



=========================================================



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?



Yeah, well I couldn't believe it ... he was a DWARF!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT

HAPPY!'



So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'



And then the fight started...



=========================================================



THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else

to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always

something more important to me.



Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived

home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping

away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I

was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a

toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as

well sweep the driveway.'



The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is

always right, and the other is the husband

had a wonderfull day yesterday went to a used book store wichc is huge in knoxvillie.



i saw this show dr phil did this week. it was a 2 parter show where some angry plus size woman were defending there size to some fitness nuts .



and i have to say i may be a plus size woman but i would never make a ass out my self on nation wide tv saying plus size people are a minorty. or that we are looked upon as evil.



i watched each side and some had pros others had cons. 2 people who were respectfull and the rest wernt



and suprisling lol kelly osborn was and the woman from biggest loser were the ones who treated people with respect. they made valied points and gave there best to defend there reasons why they felt that way.



i mean people were mad because they did not like chubby people and some people were mad that the chubby people could do nothing but make excuses why they could not lose the weight or how they felt pressured to lose and failed because of tv. and blamed people for them gaing weight.



my feelings is tv did not make me gain wieght , people who tried to bully me did not make me gain weight, other things did not make me gain weight. what mad me gain wieght was my own lack of good dicessions. nothing else.



i saw them argue that people who were plus size were heatjy as a skinny person. i my self think that is bs. i just dont see.



im just like this in my personal thoughts



people have the right to think and feel what they feel. but people do not have the right to force them on others in rude ways.



if there is something offensive on tv you do what normal people do change the channle, get a life. lol



thats my 2 cents for the day

i made a big step in my weight loss want . i took my cloths that are to big , baggy, stained, over worn, and stuff i wear all the time so i can hide my curves and cut them up



in a little while i am going to pick up 40 dollars worth of basic things to replace



i watched a show where the doctor said a good way to up kick weight loss is to do 5 dramitc things that can benifit you and your life so my first thing is to get ride of the bagy yuck cloths



i almost did not do it because it was stuff that made me feel safe. i need to stop feeling safe and feel like a woman