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Another nightmare
Another death
Another tear-filled night
I deserve this
For all the pains
I've caused-

Lifetimes of horrid deeds
So much
Blood and sorrow
On my hands-

Every nightmare
All the terrors
Of my waking world
Are well deserved
This retribution
Cannot even touch
The surface of what
I deserve

~Kyna

I think perhaps
I've gone too far
There's a distance now
Growing
Day by day-

I find myself wishing
I wasn't so
Intense-

I give everything
Far too soon
Only I don't
Realize it
Until it's too late-

So intense
A gift and a curse-

Another heart lost
I can
See and feel
The coming silence
I'm shattering
Splintering
And so terrified
But
I'm accepting of the
Coming silence
Maybe I deserve it
For being so
Intense

~Kyna

Heart pounding
I can’t make
It stop
The sickening
Whirl
In my gut
Distracting me from
Everything

My thoughts are
Everywhere

Chaotic misery

I’m dizzy
It’s so hard
To breath
I’m falling
Fading fast
Back to how
I was
Before I met
You
I’m shattering
In the silence
My life has
Become

Betrayed and lost
I can’t trust
Myself
Doubts plaguing
All my thoughts

Anxiety overflowing

The tears
Come and go
Just like my
Mind
I need to
Escape
So desperately
And yet I
Can’t

~Kyna

A lot has
Changed
In five years

So much neglect
Has left my
Life
In shambles
Can’t even tell
Someone lives here

But now
I can finally
Sweep away
All the debris

Pull cobwebs
Off of all the
Important things

Open a door
And let a
Breeze in
Breathing new life
Into me

No longer
A tattered husk
All the shadows
Have been
Brought into the
Light

I’m making a
Home
A safe haven
And when
Times are tough
I know
I’ll have somewhere
To rest and
Heal
Full of love
And care
Protected from the
Pains of the
World

~Kyna

A whisper from
The darkness
Calling me
Taunting me
You belong here
It says
Deception
It only looks
Safe and comforting
The darkness
Will devour you
Obliterate your soul
Shatter your dreams
The darkness
Is all consuming-

Taking
Taking
Taking

Never satisfied
It wants all of you
And
When you are nearly
Drained
The darkness
Will recede
You think you made it
That you survived
The darkness
But
It is still there
Waiting
For you to build yourself
Back up
So it can
Devour you
Once more

~Kyna

I love you
I'll likely
Never
Tell you-

I would rather
Love you from the
Shadows
Than risk losing
You
You have given me
So very much
Things I never
Thought to have-

Hope
Strength
Courage

I want to live
Because of you
I had no intention
Of ever letting
Anyone
Into my life
No more friends
And certainly
No more loves
But
Here I am
Head over heals
In love
And
Terrified
I'll lose you-

I love you
And
I'll likely never tell

~Kyna

I can't stop
Asking myself-

Have I done it
Again?

Have I gone too
Far?
Are you still here
Because
You pity me
Or
Because
You think I might
Do something stupid?

No one stays
Promises
Are never kept
I'm not worth the
Trouble
I am the
Disposable friend
Temporary entertainment
Use me
Get what you want
Then
Throw me away-

Isn't that the advantage
Of a
Thing
Like me?

A toy to play with
Until it's broken
Then toss it out
Why keep a
Burden?

~Kyna

Another shot
Another pill
Another cut
It all adds up
Soon I'll be free
The world is fading
Already
I'll be gone soon
That last breath
Will be like
Heaven
A release from
My nightmare

In death I will
No longer fear
Loneliness
A rotting corpse
Doesn't need love
Or someone by it's
Side

No stopping now
It's too late
For you to save
Me

Death is grasping
For my hand
He's leading me
To the darkness

I can see your face
As my vision fades
The terror
The sorrow
Soul deep
I'm sorry
It's too late

~Kyna

It's calling me
Again
Oblivion
Deaths sweet embrace

One simple step
Is all it would take
True freedom
Finally
No more loss
No more heartache
No more loneliness
Just peace
Blissful silence

Melting into the
Obsidian depths
I will dissolve

Each fractured piece of
My soul
Ceasing to exist
It's all fading now
I can rest at last

~Kyna

Cold and damp
Is this cell
The scent of
Mold and rot
Permeates the air
My cell-mate is
Gone now
His already
Shallow breaths
Ceased nearly
A hand-span
Of days ago
The rats scurry
About his
Fetid corpse
Feasting-

I fear
That soon
I shall share his
Fate.

~Kyna

Each glimpse
Of you
Makes my heart
Thunder
My stomach fills
With butterflies
And it's so hard
To draw a
Breath
Every bit of
My shattered soul
Wishes you
Would simply notice
The love I
Hold for
You
Even though
I know
You and I
Will never be
I can't stop myself
From
Loving you.

~Kyna

For one brief
Moment
Everything was
Perfect
And it seemed
Like I had
Made it out
Away from
Everything I longed
To forget
And then
It went from
One thing to
Another
And I was
Lost in the
Darkness and
Pain
Again and again
I fear it will
Never end.

~Kyna