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It's strange how we can make people feel so much. It's a powerful thing to influence. I'm just over thinking a few things. I hate what my heart tells me (When someone ends up influencing me more and better than anyone has in years.. and I end up feeling so damn happy). lol I'm pretty badass though, if I do say so myself. >.>



It's just tricky. Words can't be taken back.. it's bad, it's naughty, it won't even happen unless they have a mind set of waiting till I feel good enough to try it, they're not right, I'm a prick, they're bad too, so many thoughts. I should have a right to be happy and yet I'm careful because I've always been. I'm the one on top. It's always been like that and I think that's the worst, best part about you.. I get angry and you just accept it and listen which is so damn cute. >.- Lol

Just got back from the dentist. It didn't hurt at all. I'm really good with it comes to needles. I almost fell asleep while they were working on me. My nose and upper right side of my lip feel numb and I feel out of it. Along the way home I went to the store to pick up something for my mom and I kept dropping it. xD I'm like, light headed.



When I walked out this dude said loudly. "Foxy Lady", which I'm assuming was because of my wolf hat. I was thinking, :Lol I feel like crap, wtf? Lol:.



Well, I'm about to take a pain killer cause it hurts like a bitch now and my antibiotics. Then maybe fall asleep in a bit. I'm like.. weird, yo.



Oh! One last thing, he liked the drawing, yay! :D Haha

Writing that and calming down for a while was good. There are other ways to cook it I suppose. Hack it and fry it or whatnot. I might do that cause I'm mother fucking angry and I don't want to take it out on anyone. xD

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Requiem
18:12 Nov 26 2011

::hug::





I wish I could fix it. =/

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Lullaby
00:48 Nov 27 2011

FRY THAT BISH! :P

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My sister went and killed the oven. We still haven't cooked. I give up. Someone tell me not to be mad?



Fuck a nice family meal. I haven't had a working over in forever and only got a year to cook in it? Wth? So, much hate. No turkey that's cooked. I don't want it anymore. If they cook it at a friend's home I still don't want it. I'm stubborn and full of rage.



I wish this girl would stop killing everything. >.-

May offend some people. >.>



I miss the Sarah Silverman program and it hasn't been on TV since it was canceled. I never did see all of them. Just the ending of season 3. I started googling for full shows but had no luck. I watched the first minute of the first show and thought, rofl. She introduces the characters and then they go to a scene where she's just waking up.



She marches out of her apt in her pj's and slippers and walks into a church saying "Excuse me, can I speak to the manager here?" xD "Your church bells are too loud!"



They go on and just the thought of that made me laugh so much. xD Cause church bells scare me. xD

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Bones
23:54 Nov 25 2011

I miss Benny Hill. :P

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Requiem
01:03 Nov 26 2011

GOds, I miss Benny Hill and Madame of New York!

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It's been a while.

So I wanted to record this here.



A few days ago the people down stairs complained about a flood. When I told them through the door that there was none the guy gave the door one last big bang and left.



A few minutes after the super came banging on the door like a nut. It startled all of us. Made me a bit shaky even. I told him that I wasn't dressed and that there was no flood. Then my mother told him she wasn't dressed as well. It was night, we were getting ready for bed and he was screaming "BULLSHIT". "I'll call the fire dept to bust your door down!" Then he left.



He made my mother feel so sick that she went to the ER. She didn't catch a heart attack but her heart rate was up and she was given some meds because she had pneumonia. So she's trying to rest and get better now.



We did a lot of holiday running around to get food and stuff. We even managed to get some new clothes from the store. :P There were some sales and some shirts were like 2 bucks but a size Medium. xD I usually like bigger sizes but I was like why not, I love it too much. :P And it fits well. Not too tight to hate and not as big as usual. lol



The holidays can be hectic with people trying to visit others. Public transportation has a few grinchs but my mother and I can talk like NY'ers. Haha I got her back and she has mine.





What else.. Well my mom was talking to one of her new friends. Apparently her friend wanted us to cook for her. My mom wasn't up for it. After all she did just come back from the hospital the other day. I'm not even up to it. Though I'll be cooking something at some point. The dentist worked on my tooth but it hurts to bite now...

Of course I'd be sick for Thanksgiving. lol I always am.

This year I want to be like a little kid and get into the holiday spirit. It's been a hard year, I've had the best friends anyone could ask for and I want to just be close to family. It hasn't been snowing, just tons of rain here but if it does snow I'd like to watch it and cuddle up with a hot chocolate or something. haha :D Just being thankful for what I have cause it's damn good even if it's not the best. :P Just trying to turn negative into positive.



It's sort of funny, even when I was sick before I got sick again my cat wouldn't leave me alone. xD I love my pets too. :) She was making me feel sick then though cause of her fur. lol



As for the stress situations- I've gotten a little better with them.

I can only wish for a happy holiday season close with family. That would be nice.

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Lullaby
03:03 Nov 23 2011

Have fun - you deserve it. :P

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I know I shouldn't have come on tonight. It's a little past 12am. I was just too stressed. One of the few reasons why I enjoyed the internet is because I could be here when things were hard. I used to hate computers. Now I'm addicted enough to come on at such a time. I just need to vent. To feel like I can have a place to throw all my troubles away.



Everything was going well. I just had this aweful feeling. Like something bad would happen. The other day my mother and I were applying for holiday things. We had fun after, like joking along the bus ride. Then we went shopping for little girly things. We shouldn't have but it was fun.



I got some new nail polishs and tons of bracelets. xP Both of my arms are half way covered in them. We also got some new earrings. Sort of makes me wish I had more piercings cause I love all the new stuff that we got. D: There's this one pair, it's like not too big and not too small, hoops, that have cross bones in them. So pirate like. xP Effing hot but they aren't real silver. lol So I'll deal with taking them out.



See, sounds nice, right?

Then we went to the, (well, I should just say it by now. I'm not rich at all. We ended up eating at this kosher soup kitchen. It helps us out a lot.) place to eat. Which was such a blessing in itself.



The time spent there saved us. As soon as we had walked out my mother had gotten a call. The case that was finally over? Some dick complained and now it's open for more months. This year just isn't going to end well. We missed the person who came to the apt and that's why she got the call. Last time they came it was because the stupid ass super reported that we killed someone. Heh. Now he's reported that we have mice.



I know this is NYC and that most places are going to get some form of pests from time to time but we have cats. Hunters who'd rip something as big as a bunny to shreads if they could. I adore my cats. They once wanted us to get rid of them. lol The guy who had been inside the apt since then worked for the building and didn't see that we had cats. Ours are quiet and aren't like the annoying dogs that live there.



God damn. This case is not fun. I'm not happy at all and no one enjoys themselves. I guess I'm out this late because I needed a break from the bullshit. I do so much and I'm just tired. I can't have a life, still. Hell, I can't even get a boy friend if I wanted, ffs. (One of the things they ask is if you have one. I've broken that rule only 2 times. Don't even feel like it now though) I have a kid to watch over, and it's not even mine. I really *hate* playing the role of the 2nd parent when I should be the sister.



I'm just tired of it all sometimes.

I need stress advice if anything. I can't break down or anything. Playing games won't do anything since my mother hides them. I can't sneak off anywhere.



I wish we could move. Run away from it all.



For those that even read this nonsense, thanks I guess.

There was once a person that gave some nice advice on something I wrote about a year ago. I can't remember what it was but I liked it. Something about blankets and sleeping. I think I want to spend the next few months like that on my spare (Stressed) time.



I wish I had VR these days. It makes me feel as if something is okay in the world. I hate these false claims. I hope my mother sues them. I've wasted so much time.. on fucktards. :|

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Requiem
12:44 Nov 09 2011

Stress advice: (It works for me. It keeps me from choking the living shit out of those that stress me. ( I DO have aggression issues.)



Breathe. Sit still, close your eyes, and breathe. Breathe deeply. Count your breaths in and out, make an effort to slow your breathing to see how many you can count (one-mississippi) breathing in, and balance it on the out-breath.



When you can slow-deep breathe in and out for a while, then open your eyes, and consider whatever situation is stressing you. If you can do NOTHING about it - think of blowing it away on the out-breaths. This may help in allowing it to NOT stress you. Maybe.



If you CAN do something for a resolution, or at least an amelioration, focus on possibilities when you breathe IN ... and think of stress going away when you breathe out.



Hopefully a ten minute breathing session will at the very least, give you a clearer focus for what you can and cannot claim personal responsibility for resolving. At the very least, I hope you will be able to push those things for which you can do nothing into the metaphorical fire of, "This too, shall pass."



My mother used to say this prayer a lot:



God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.





=)

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JustinV
00:09 Nov 14 2011

Stress advice: When I had to deal with situations like this growing up, I would read. And read. And read. Not online stuff (hell, the Internet was years away when I was growing up). I'd go to the library and check out an ARM LOAD of books and just disappear into them. It was a real escape during a very chaotic childhood.

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leapdude
19:50 Nov 22 2011

So the best stress reliever i've found is to simply talk with a friend....even if it is your VR friends! We may not always understand, but we're hell of a good listener! and there is always at least one of us around :-).



getting things off your chest, like you did here, is a big stress reliever. just keep coming by and talking to us!!!

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TheArtistRose
23:42 Nov 23 2011

Good advice Req.

Justin- My card is dead. xD I've checked out too many during childhood and didn't return some from a bad move. xD



-LeapDude, I think that's what I've been doing. :P

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Got a few anni's. I'll have been here for two years without my first real profile to prove it on the 10th. On the 11th it will have been 3 years since my mother quit smoking.

That about sums it up.



Again, some people don't know that I'm not really here so message my assistant instead.



I've been doing well without vr but I do miss it. I've joined a comedy club on FB, been making fun of Pokemon games and I have to take care of my tooth in a few weeks. They couldn't do anything for it today.



I want to move at some point in the future. I think that will make me happy. I'm tired of the people. I erased most of my FB friends and any real friend I have lives far. Lots of people moved after high school to far away collages.