I want him.
I am in the process of killing this hope that you'll change your mind and stay. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. As I've said before...if she makes you happy, then by all means, go and be happy. However, if there's a tiny chance that you might want me...I'm here. Waiting.
I want you.
I want you to stay, I want you to be happy, I want...you. But I would never take away your choice. You already told her you would be there...and just to leave her now, would be so cruel. But I have this insane urge to tell you to do it anyway. To beg you to stay...
I don't want you to accuse me one day of forcing you to be with me. I don't want you to hate me, resent me, like my sister resents her husband. I want you to choose on your own...and if she is your choice, I will accept and be happy for you. It just doesn't stop me from hurting badly.
She crept along the edges of the world, watching as people remained so happy while she felt nothing. She wanted to feel the heat, the warmth of another smile, the twinkle that was reflected in the eye when they looked at her, she wanted what she couldn’t have….for loving someone else meant losing herself. She was bound to eternity, destined to follow her master into the darkness, just another lost soul being swallowed. Yet, she watched, a small smile creeping onto her lips when she witnessed a cherished moment…that was all she’ll ever have….moments.
She dwelled in the shadows, studying the emotions that others felt, wondering why people cause themselves so much pain just for simple words. She knew such devotion did not exist to mere humans…they did not understand what love really meant, the ways it twisted and consumed until it had a hold of your heart. They say love is sweet and beautiful….such fools believing such a lie.
She sleeps in a cloak of blissful numbness, devouring the precious lives that pass her by…the only time when she can feel her soul. The little burst of hope she feels when she takes their life….but like everything else…..it slowly dies. Maybe someday she’ll fall victim to another like herself, a body without emotion, a soul living within an empty shell….until then, she will continue to dismantle the very lives you cherish.
COMMENTS
That just breaks my heart. I had a dream within reach...I was so close to holding it...and it slips through my fingers. Every time. Every god damn time.
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