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Woke up this morning and walked down to get some breakfast...I would say winter is sneaking up.. I'm beginning to wonder if hitching to Colorado is such a good idea in this weather... but I really don't have a choice
Yes, feel the same. It's coming to me also here in Illinois. Can't fight nature.
Friends
18:16 Nov 19 2010 Times Read: 649
People say that you cant make true friends over a computer but I have made so many true friends online that have been with me for years and many I have met with in RL and here in a week I will get to meet my oldest and dearest online friend. She has been my moral rock and like a mother to me for a long time and we talk on the phone and chat and help one another. I have even become close friends with her daughter who is another very dear friend. I am dreading the hitchike out there, but I know it will all be worth it once I get there.
Stupidity .. all I want is to save enough to go home.. Honestly hate the USA lol
Hitchhiking
15:01 Nov 17 2010 Times Read: 664
Well it seems My luck isn't getting better and It looks like I will have to hitchhike from Philadelphia to Pueblo Colorado.. I'm so not looking forward to doing this as the weather is turning colder but I don't see where I have any choice.
Yea thats my plan.. try to get one going west.. If i can atleast get close to Pueblo my friend says she will come get me
My all time favorite song
21:40 Nov 15 2010 Times Read: 676
Caledonia .. was the original name of Scotland before Sir Walter Scott led them to freedom from the Romans
Caledonia song.
I dont know if you can see... the changes that have come over me..These last few days Ive been afriad that I might drift a way.. I've been telling old stories and singing songs that remind me of where I come from .Thats the reason why I seem so far away today......Chorus"So let me tell you that I love you and that I think about you all the time Caladonia you're calling me. 'now Im.... going home. But if I should become a stranger it would make me more than sad...Caledonia's been everything I've ever had".........I have moved and I kept on moving proved the points that I needed proving.. Lost the friends that I needed losing and found others on the way. I kissed the fellas and left them crying stolen dreams yes there's no denighing. I've traveld hard sometimes with concence flying ...somwhere with the wind "repeat Chorus" ...Now I'm sitting here before the fire the empty room a forest choire.. The flame that could not get any higher Have withered now the've gone....But now I'm steady thinking way is clear and I know what I'll do tommarrow. When the hands are shaking and the kisses flow I will dissapear. "Repeat chorus" ...... This song had an amazing affect on me and I truely love it.
Tell me about it. Every time I walk away from my PC and do something else I feel like I'm missing something. Bored, that sounds like my life, looking for things to do.
????
05:08 Nov 12 2010 Times Read: 709
I just read a sight where the girl said she don't believe in vampirism or vampires..lmao boy is she in the wrong place
So right you are. Although looks like she was pulled here for a reason. Maybe this sight well help open her eyes and create a new learning experience for her.
Spent the whole weekend cleaning Blaa.. But I feel so much better in it now.. the person I took the flat over from was a bit of a slob.. I think the world of him but damn....
Good for you. I know that it feels great once your done. Been their and enjoyed every moment.
I happy for you, and you feel better also.
Also what I do once a year is spiritual cleaning, you might want to think about it.
Peace and Blessings.
Lovely
13:56 Nov 06 2010 Times Read: 749
It looks like it is going to be a lovely day. A bird chirps on my window sill wakening me to the morning light,, I know not what the day will bring but i feel sure that it is something to be remembered.. Blessed be
It is a bit on the cool side outdoors and I must try to dredge out and find this office I have never been to in a town i barely know my way around in. I hope I won't get to lost.
I know how you feel. 28 degrees by me and windy. Lost, no I don't think so, the universe wants you to see something. I don't know what, it just feels like it.
Peace and Blessings.
Bad start outstanding ending
12:16 Nov 04 2010 Times Read: 766
Yesterday was slow and I was kinda depressed most of the day but it ended so well as I made a few new friends and joined an amazing coven that fits who I am The Coven De Vechi Druidry. :) Blessed be
Yesterday I felt so invisible. I felt like nothing I said did or wrote mattered to anyone. Why is it some days people seem like they are drawn to me and say things like. I don't know why but i felt this strange need to talk to you. and other days it's like nobody even notices that I'm there at all? I feel so lonely inside today :(
Some more often them others. I for one read your journal every day. If you post, I'll be their.
Remember your never really alone.
Peace and Blessings.
My story
16:37 Nov 01 2010 Times Read: 792
I believe My first step toward awakening was death itself. Now before you get all melodramatic on me let me explain.
When I was thirteen years of age I was playing on a dock at a lake just outside of Augsburg Germany and I fell in. My brother who couldn't swim either got help and I was pulled out. When the paramedics arrived they pronounced me dead but continued to try to revive me "thankfully" and brought me back. After that I was a changed person. I Knew there was something different about me and was reminded every day by the other children at school. I became a loner with the exception of the very few I chose to allow into my little world. And that was when the cravings began. I would go crazy whenever someone would cut themselves ore scrape their skin enough to draw blood..My heart would race and my mouth would go bone dry. I knew I wanted it but alas I didn't know why. I began convincing my friends that saliva would speed the healing process and make the pain ease as an excuse to taste but it was never enough and only succeeded in making me more of an outcast than I already was when people outside my tight little circle found out.
At that time there were no movies out about Vampires with the exception of Dracula (A movie I still cant stand to this day) Because i got nicknamed Vampire Girl.. I was always sick and the sun was something i would avoid like the plague. So that and the little blood "fetish" as the psychiatrist i was forced to see called it. It wasn't a far stretch to get stuck with that nickname... Lack of friends gave me a lot of time to myself. I used this time at the library looking up anything I could find on Vampires that wasn't fiction. (Which was very little) and Learning about Wicca. I embraced the craft with all my heart and gave my soul to the Goddess. She saved me from myself and to this day Wicca is a huge part of my life.
When I was 15 my step mother decided that she didn't want my weirdness around her or her son any more and sent me away to a foster home which i stayed at nearly a year. I so loved my foster parents. They taught me so much and I learned to appreciate Celtic music and Musicals. among other things such as art. I had often wished that I could have stayed with them forever but fate had other plans for me. Just before my sixteenth birthday I was shipped to the USA to live with my grandfather. A new town where nobody knew about my nick name or my weird ways. Was my way of making it ok in my mind. I tried hard to keep my thoughts to myself and be "normal" I tried to make friends and I would spend all my spare time at the Local skating Rink where I started working after school. This lasted about a year but the old me was always there right under the edge pleading and begging to come back out. The lust I had for blood was constantly making me crazy and it was all I could do not to think about it. I began once again my search for answers at the local Library with hopes of more success at this new library than the last and I stumbled Upon a story about a dutch es that lived in the fourteen hundreds that practiced bloodletting. She believed that she needed the Blood to keep her healthy and stave off sickness and only the blood of Virgins was acceptable. Silvia was her name and though I have searched for years i have yet to find any other articles about her but there was another by the name of Erzibet Bathory that was similar. As the years past I found crazy ways to take the edge off such as buying Liver and drinking the blood out of it ..{Yea I know its gross but it helped) Then when I was 18 I told a dear friend all my deepest darkest secrets and the Vampire girl nickname was out once again, but only between the two of us. One night while I was at her flat she cut herself on a dinner plate. she was bleeding pretty bad and she must have seen the look on my face. My heart raced so fast I thought it would leap out of my chest. my mouth felt like the sierra dessert. all I could do was stare as the blood run down her arm. I wanted to run away to avoid the thoughts that were going through my mind, but all I could do was stand there like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck. She walked over to me and held out her hand. "Blood for the Vampire Girl?" She asked tauntingly. I couldn't resist and took her hand and fed till it stopped bleeding. within moments I felt alive Like I had never known before. "Wow I didn't think you would actually take me up on the offer but I can literally see it did you some good."She had said. She and I became even closer than ever after that and she became a regular donor to me for years after till I moved. Then I would find boyfriends and lovers that would satiate my need. It was That night that I knew without a doubt what I was and what I needed to be healthy and alive and not just a shell of the person I really am. Blessed BE
I posted this in a thread about steps to awakening but decided to re post it here for those that really want to know who I am
COMMENTS
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gszander
16:41 Nov 23 2010
Yes, feel the same. It's coming to me also here in Illinois. Can't fight nature.