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SilentFreak's Journal



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2 entries this month
 

Fuck Fake Friends

08:26 Nov 25 2005
Times Read: 653


so, i'm friends with someone.... no, make that best friends with someone... and in one week they kick me to the curb for someone they just met and just became friends with. and i shouldn't have a problem with it according to them. and i'm not talking about anyone in particular at all.... i just realized it's happened to me a lot this year. not by the same person, but more than once by some of the same people. and yanno, it doesn't hurt me.... at all, it just pisses me off. there are some people that i have been there for when they felt like they had no one else. people that came to me in the middle of the night just to talk to me about their lives... and i have done the same with them. and then out of the blue someone else is more important to them and they could give a shit less whether i go home and kill myself or go for a walk in the cold just to get somewhere. once again, just to clarify this is not about one certain person.... but a majority of people. and it kind of irritates me because this question always pops in my head "what did i do to them to make them feel like that towards me?" and it has yet to be answered. it's not like i treat them like shit..... i know that i don't. if i get into an arguement with them, and i'm in the wrong and i admit to it and i appologize. anyone who knows me like the back of their hand would know that. but i mean seriously. people that i have known for a year or two or even more seem to do this to me. shit, even people i've only known a couple months do this to me to. and i don't know what it is about this year, but this year... it has happened at least 10 times.... and sadly, only by 4 main people. i've had people tell me that they were going to come see me and then never show up, i've had people tell me they were going to hang out with me for a number of days and then only hang out for one, and i've had people be completely ok with me one day and then hate me the very next. over nothing. i mean i could understand if we got into an arguement or i did something that they didn't approve of..... but there's nothing there. i mean, i still talk to these people like i have no problem with them, but i never make plans with them, i never call them.... and i never ever trust them again. so basically this is boiling down to.... FUCK FAKE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!


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You don't know how it feels, to be me....

21:24 Nov 12 2005
Times Read: 655


Yea, I don't know what's up with the title. It's just a song that's stuck in my head. So yea, my boyfriend Ben made a profile on this site if you would like to check it out. his s/n is KornFreak6sic6. So yea, my mom is putting my self esteem pretty badly, i know i shouldn't let the things she says bother me so much but i can't help it.... i cried for hours yesterday just thinking about all the things she's said to me these past few days. it sucks and i feel like an emo kid saying that but she's just depressing me that much. not to mention my brother and i got into talking about a lot of shit last night and he just bawled crying. in the 16 years of my life, i have never seen my brother emotionally cry. and that brought me down too, to see how much emotional pain he's in in his life and made me feel kind of stupid for crying over words said to me. but i guess it doesn't really matter, if things hurt, things hurt.... no matter how big or small it seems to someone else. anyways i'm done rambling now. til next time.

~Sarah.


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