The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

poison
02:13 May 14 2009
Times Read: 547

This poison that courses through my veins

Is making me grow depressed

More than usual

Far beyond the rest



It's taking much out of me

Too much than i can provide

And where there used to be a sense of relief

It's no longer there after I've cried



The days go by slowly

And zip by all too fast

The plains of agony lie before me

Overwhelmingly vast



I used to revel in my time alone i spent

It now seems like a suffocating quilt

I'm plagued by emotions-

Sadness, anger, guilt...



To say it's tearing me apart

Is a major understatement in the least

The gates of my torment have broken

All negativities unleashed



This is a loneliness

That has accumulated over the years

The burden of feeling in the wrong place&time

Is the burning of my fallen tears



Sinking into the deepest depths of despair

It's getting threateningly harder to live

I've given all, simply everything,

And i cannot find anything else to give





last winter, 2008

what i want
02:12 May 14 2009
Times Read: 548






I want to go to the ocean

And climb the highest dune

I want you to undress me

Beneath the summer moon



I want to stand under the stars

Held tight in your embrace

I want to drink your lust

As you remove my gown of red lace



I want to surrender my body

To your every need and desire

I want to be a willing victim

Of your burning passionate fire



I want to taste the kisses

From your soft and tender lips

I want to feel the shivers

From the touch of your fingertips



I want to lie beneath you

And feel the heat from your skin

I want you to lift my soul

To heights its never been



I want to be left breathless

Begging and pleading for more

I want to spiral into ecstacy

As you rock me to the core



I want to spend the night

In an erotic wonderland

I want to greet the morning new

Making love to you in the sand.





written years ago, but not for someone in particular.

flicker
02:12 May 14 2009
Times Read: 549

Take me to another place

where time does not exist

look me in the eyes...

speak the truth

don't tell me that was it

Stumbling, couldn't find my way

You lifted me out then you turned away

Tears did not bring you back...

I've always known they wouldn't

And to have you...I've always thought i couldn't



In perpetual darkness i lingered.

Once, you were my sun to the blackest clouds

Warmth that thawed the ice entombing my heart

You melted my pain away...

Sensuality replaced sorrow

Compassionate nights making easier

The hell of tomorrow



The spark, has it not faded to black?

Maybe there is no turning back.



Flickering then dying as soon as it was ignited

I fall back into nights arms...

I can no longer fight it



Take me to another place

Where time does not exist

Look me in the eyes...

Speak the truth

Do not tell me that was it.









april 6th 2008

walls
02:09 May 14 2009
Times Read: 550

How do you not see



The pure agony beneath her eyes



The truth is there, hidden under



The betrayal of your selfish lies



A heart bigger than you could imagine



Is locked up, sealed behind the thickest of walls



You couldnt know this; you never gave her a chance



You'd never say sorry, you have no balls.The only way to get to her



Is not over, but rather through



The chamber that has been created



As a product of having a relationship with any of you



And if you can ever knock them down



And you cause her any more harm



The trust that was there before will no longer be found in you



You dont seem to acknowledge



That youre the one who turns the knife inside her chest



You turn the other cheek as if nothing has happened



Now there are more of us who's acting is at its very best



She'll give you her all



Until you want it no more



She would stand in the freezing rain



In hopes that youll open your door



And even when you dont



She'll drop everything



Just to rush to your side



In your hour of need



She hates how she is



She wears her heart on her sleeve



But she will no longer fall so easily



For what shes led to believe



On a daily basis she is on the verge of tears



How has she deserved



All of the hurt she has endured



Through many, many years



The sanctity is gone



The bond is no where to be found



She holds all of this in around you all



Then collapse under heart wrenching sobs when noone is around



She'll pick herself back up



Because herself is all she has left



And that mask of indifference



Is once again in place and set



She'll want to let go



When her heart is completely torn



But more than anything she'll want to see you in the clarity



With which she thought she saw you before



Just live and let live



Forgive or forget



these simple words are another thing she has left



Simple it may sound



But its much more difficult than that



So she ends up getting walked on all the time



Like a forgotten door mat



The day will come



When she cant take it any longer



And she'll be out of your life



And if you should start to miss her friendship she tried to give to you



Just remember, you drove her away



And her love will remain one of the strongest,



Rare and true.

broken inside
02:05 May 14 2009
Times Read: 553

she walks a fine line

between confident and insecure

she balances her life

on the tip of a knife

and who to trust she cant be sure

mistakes and broken hearts

what has she left on her path

what is at the end of her trail

does she deserve any good in life

is karma real

and if this is true, what does it entail?

compassionate, forgiving,

dead while still living

she conceals her pain with laughter and reading

broken inside

tears are falling

why has she not yet fallen on this knife

without stalling

torturing herself on the inside and out

the thought of death is appealing-

this she cannot doubt

to never feel pain

to never feel lost

to never hurt another again

but in taking her own life, hurting others would be the cost

does she deserve to be happy

to be treated right

because she too has made wrongs

she doesnt any more know how to make them right

so she tears herself apart instead

it kills her every day

to realize the feelings that were there before

are ones that did not stay

a facade of confidence

thats never been there in her life

is something she must put forth

in an attempt to lessen the strife

but its always there

flipping and churning

the nauseating realization

that, for her, love wont be returning

breath of night
02:05 May 14 2009
Times Read: 554

heart is racing

pulse is speeding

thinking about

who im needing

walking with me through the darkness

winters kiss falls and lands

its just me and you

youre holding my hand

you have the most sensual touch

the snow is so silent

i turn to you

my soul is enlightened

you seem so imperfect

so beautifully unreal

only time ive ever felt this way

cant describe how i feel

shining from you

i see a beautiful dark light

like a black rose against snow

formed from the very breath of night

youre so perfectly wrong

so imperfectly right

attracted to your very existence

come, i want to succumb to your darkest light











april 6 2008-over a yr ago.

written for

joey farthing

untitled2
02:04 May 14 2009
Times Read: 555

forbidden feelings

an emotion so intense

so wanton, tearing me to pieces

yearning for that sensual touch

for that one person that made things okay

the one who made me forget all my troubles

should i deal with this

cant force it from my life

tomorrow is no promise

i do not want this feeling at all

unrequited, it serves no purpose

do you know the immense amount of love i have for you

disregarding any flaws

because some of those make me love you more

too much distance in between

that is whats wrong with us

is that not what you have seen?

you confuse the shit out of me

and all i do is come running back for more



for joey feb 2008

02:00 May 14 2009
Times Read: 557

untitled three

A love denied. A love embraced. A love that died. After a pointless chase.

Did it die? Does it live? Was this pain, All you could give?

Does it still hurt you. Do you know that i grieve.

Heartbroken...i can't leave it be.

My heart has died. I must not be good enough.

Wish i could cry. Wheres the truth. Beneath it all.

Never deceived you. What was said is still meant to this day. It hurts...

But how can i walk away?





for joey, old. early 2008