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Like so many out there, NOTHING is better than a deep feed from a Sang Donor you know trust and love. However in this day and age it’s not practical or safe for such practices unless there is a real commitment from both parties. For that reason I turned to Psy feeding methods several years ago. Lately with a larger amount of energy work I’m burning out too fast. Instead of being ready to feed again after a couple of weeks I’m DRAINED in just a few days. Even if I actively go out and ambient feed everyday I’m still burning through very quickly.



I’m working a lot with the Dreaming lately and I’m coming out yes far more in tune with things but without anything left. My headaches are becoming more frequent and I’m starting to find the push back is harder to deal with. I’m not sure if this is normal or not but I’ve talked to a few others lately that are finding that Psy feeds even deep ones just are not lasting as long; even if they aren’t doing extensive energy work.



I’m not sure if there is just some great energy burn or if we are just starting to notice the state of our current surroundings affecting our bodies. Perhaps the stress of society’s current state is taking a toll. If so what will the cost be?

When you live your life flirting with the shadows around you, you begin to forget others out there may notice you. In fact you may get so caught up on being invisible you forget that you are anything but. Generally it is in that moment that you get a good dose of reality. Like chilling ice water hitting you while you slumber warmly you are pulled with malice from the warm comfort of your own personal “dreaming” back to the bright vicious world.



My ice water just made contact with the delicate skin surrounding my heart. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am helplessly addicted to my job. That’s right I am a die hard work-a-holic. Someone got a hold of my work email and now it would seem that somebody believes that my dayside and nightside should not co-exist.



Ooops I’m all wet but I’m not running to hide.

When I joined the Rave for the first time several years ago I met a gentleman who would become my "Sire". By Sire I mean teacher. He worked with me to help me better understand energy and how I was using it.



Years have passed since the first time I sat down across a table from him and we first started talking about the nature of a Vampire/Vampyre. He and I have both grown greatly. While he offered me insight that established I was not crazy I served as a launching platform to help him really come into "the scene".



Over the years our relationship built into the friendship we have now. It has father/daughter quality that I wouldn't trade for anything nor do i think he would trade it. It has been challenged like any relationship where we have found fault with the others actions and even lost track of each other for a while.



Tonight we sat down across a table from each other like we did in the early days when I was first learning control and I couldn't help but reflect on the lessons he taught me. I learned more than safe feeding practices and proper etiquette. He had taught me about loyalty to my bloodlines and inner strength.



It's no secret I was raised with one foot already in the scene but when my father passed away on my 19th birthday I let part of my die with him. I wanted to lock away this darker part of myself that I didn't understand and thought I could. It took the skills and companionship of an elder to help me find my way again.



Tonight felt like the first meeting all over again and it does everytime we come together. I have worked so hard to build myself into someone he can respect because I know not only would he want that but also my father. Something strange happened though, I realized tonight that we have passed teacher and student status and he finally see's me and respects me as an equal which means somehow... I did something right.

24 hours. I couldn't do it. I didn't make it 1 full day before i got roped into a bit of Drama back on VR. It was part of the reason I left the first time. I guess I can now add this to list of assured things like death and taxes.



Things are fine now as people stepped up and just approached me directly as I asked. Thank you. I have said it before i will say it again and again.



I don't think High School Ever Ends no matter how much we hope it does.

What is the Fashion Statement being made with the gas masks. At first I thought ok maybe this is a fetish thing but no when i look we are talking military issued gas masks.



Each persons style is their own and I will not say that someone is not entitled to wearing what they will but can you explain why you think it is "Cool" to me.



They don't match your outfit, they don't make you look any tougher or intimidating. It makes me think that you had to much chilie the night before and can't stand to be in the same room as yourself.



Either take some beano, take shower or explain the look to me. For now I think you just have gas problems.

COMMENTS

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NightBlossom
20:01 Feb 19 2009

I don't own a gas mask. I'm not in the military. I'm not trying to be cool by putting one on.

Besides its obvious intended purpose, I've seen gas masks used for smoking pot. But I don't think thats it either.



Maybe you should get your head out of the closet and start realizing that people wear things for political statements.



Ever hear of women burning their bras in the sixties? Yeah, that wasn't a fashion statement. It was political.



Think on it.

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POST COMMENT

Yes, isn’t that a pleasant thought. For those of you just stumbling across my journal for the first time you are in for a big surprise. I have stated it before and it is still true. If you are easily offended go to a different page with different journal entries. Words just tend to pour from me and while I FULLY respect each person for their own right to an opinion they have to respect me enough to allow me to have my own as well.



READER BEWARE sometimes my words cut though they are generally not aimed at another person.

Ok, I was on VR once before some of you may well remember me. I was MahKat. Anyway.... time passes and such. Rating has always and will always remain the same rule with me.



EVERYBODY comes from different skill levels and backgrounds. For this reason I may rate very high on someones page without much "stuff" and then give your totally AWESOME page the same rating. I rate based simply on if a person took anytime to put something about themself out there. Creatively or not. If I can gather something about who you are from your page I will rate you favorably.



This does not devalue anyone elses work I just choose to encourage those who may not have the same visual stengths as others.



Rate me however you like from 1 to 10. I do not place any value of my self worth into an online rating system and neither should you. I'm a 10 in my book I hope each of you can say the same about yourselves.



Sweet Dreams,

Seraphim

My thoughts are my own and anything I commit to text here in my journal is my ramblings and musings. I can not promise that everyone will share my opinions and honestly I don’t care if someone does or does not. I will allow you to share your differences with me I just as that if you disagree or feel that in any way I have committed a grievance against you, that you please come to me directly so we can work together and resolve it quickly. The most painful wounds are those that go unseen and untreated. Generally they do the most harm to a person or a friendship.